What Causes Drive?

     Photographer: Chris Molitor

     I just tried to Google the phrase: "The Cause of Drive" and "The Cause of Determination". Google had nothing legit for me. Wow.

     I was thinking today about my own drive and determination. Most of my life, I never waited for someone to tell me I could do something. I just went out and did it. And that outlook and action has profoundly impacted my life. In fact, it's pretty much shaped my life and its journey. Where does that kind of drive come from?

     And if one doesn't have drive and determination in life are they pretty much screwed? Or how does one acquire Drive and Determination. It's such a necessary life commodity.

     Looking around, I notice not everyone has it.

    It frustrates me as well when I try to impact teenagers within my ministry that simply have no drive and determination for life. It's like a language I don't know how to speak.

     I'm motivated by love, but not simply as an ideology but as an action. But I'm also aware that the future is always ever approaching whether you're ready for it or not. So why not seize the opportunities of today and even factor in some risks and adventures. Because today will never ever happen again.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Seize the day.

Sand Paper

    Photography: Infinity Pictures

     Do you know that there are parts of you that are abrasive? As much as you and I might like to think we are perfect and fun loving, we must be aware that there are areas of our personalities that still need to be sand papered--smoothed out a little.

     It's those current areas of roughness that often rise up when we feel nervous, threatened, confused, or tired. But it's also those things that turn people off...More specifically turns them off from being able to intimately know you. And I've also noticed how it shuts down opportunities of all kinds.

     I know. It's a hard truth. But someone has to tell you.

     It's not about becoming a people pleaser, but just being hip to the fact that you and your friendships and relationships could be flourishing in a whole new way.

     Just try and see yourself from the outside, sometimes. Would you want to approach you? Would you want to hang around you? Be honest.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Don't try and remove the speck of dirt from your neighbor's eye when you have a plank in your own.

Let Your Yes

    Photography: Infinity Pictures

     Oh my goodness. Fickle people drive me crazy. (Looks who's talking.)
   
     But seriously. I am surrounded by teenagers and celebrities in both my vocation and ministry and their constant see-saw of making choices makes me want to hit them upside the head.

     Like really. First you said yes, then you said no, then maybe, then back to yes, then no, but wait, kind of, no, no, okay, but this time it's really yes. Oh wait. No.

     Ahh! I'm going to punch you. You just took me on a roller coaster ride that I did not want to go on.

     There is something to be said for commitment. You have to buck up and take responsibility at some point. That's a part of growing up. You have to be fearless (Or learn to be so, in most cases), to see your decision to the end. And above all, remember your choices are not just affecting you and your own world.

     But then again, if you continue to be fickle, what you're telling me is that you are a professional and scared liar. One that is afraid to live their own life. And with pathetic attempts to preserve your life through wavering decisions, you are actually losing and forfeiting it. Meaning, you'll die many deaths before you die.

     A life lived in fear is truly a life half lived.

     So let your yes be yes. And your no be no. Let your words count for something other than air. Let your words be a continuous expression of your integral character. Or you'll find yourself alone and bitter, wondering why no one is able to truly "connect" with you.

Wisdom's Knocking:

If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.

Fact: Ryan Gosling Is a G

     Do I really need to say anything else? Just saw Crazy, Stupid, Love. And all I could think about during the whole movie was this clip:





     Did I ever tell of you the time that Yajaira and I ran into him at our local movie theatre. Fun times.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Swagger is a high commodity.

The Fight Fuss

     One of my favorite videos of the summer is from Rye Rye featuring Robyn, "Never Will Be Mine." And who knew Robyn would still be an influential heavy hitter in the sphere of music? I mean, most of us remember her song, "Show Me Love" (1997- Not to be mistaken for the House Anthem of 1993 of which I get down to as well). And yes,  I was digging Robyn then, but little did I know that she was just warming up and her true artistry would have longevity.

     Summer is slowly coming to a close with the approach of August. Did I have some summer crushes? I wouldn't be Patrice if I didn't swoon at least once a week. There's just so much beautiful potential out there. But for the most part they "Never Will Be Mine".

     But I've learned so much about myself in the process and how to continually live life to the fullest with joy and great love. So I dedicate this video to all you Summer singles. Because when one door closes, (Or perhaps never opened in the first place. Ha) another one opens...

Wisdom's Knocking:

Lost love is just the potential for new found love.

Planting Schemes

     Photo Credit: Lindsay Coleman  

     Am I the only one that tries to plant herself in a particular setting in order to see a specific person. I feel a little dirty about the whole thing. It just feels fake and pretentious. Worse. It feels a bit manipulated.

     Okay. You've convinced me. I'm leaving my "Wow, I just happened to bump into you at this place" spot.

     I'll loosen my grip on trying to control every moment of my life. It always ends up better that way anyway. When I truly let go, and let God.

Wisdom's Knocking:

In all things, let God write your love and life story.

When the Music Fades

     Photo Credit: Amy Winehouse Forum

      It feels a bit surreal that Amy Winehouse is dead.

      Her voice was a mixture of soul, truth, pain, and magic. But her body caved. Her mind was battling far more than we might ever know.

     But we all could see it coming. I caught a glimpse, via my television, of her performing a bit like a zombie and getting booed off the stage in Serbia. It was painful and confusing to watch. Why would someone let her get on stage like that? But then again, how many interventions had she bucked?

      With such gifting, influence, and affluence, one would think that she had it made. What else would you need in life? Clearly much more than fame. Truly much more than fame.

Wisdom's Knocking:

All that glitters is not gold.

Borders

     Photo Credit: Joel Stephens

     I just wanted to post a random blog post title and see where it might lead me. You know, stream of consciousness writing...And then my mind travelled to the memory of the Borders bookstore that use to live on Ventura Blvd. near my old apartment. And now it's vacant.

     It's amazing how quickly things can change. And how routine can quickly be altered dramatically by just one simple event. Sometimes we are all waiting for something "exciting" to happen in our lives. But we never quite anticipate the disappearance of things in our lives.

     It's a blatant fact that change is the only constant. And that this life is truly fleeting.

     Why am I allowing my whole demeanor to be affected by something that is a passing challenge. Tomorrow will come. And it does have the potential to be better. My mind understands this. My heart is slowly catching up.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

Don't get stuck on the problem, but position yourself for for the solution.

Repeats

Photo Credit: www.uptake.com

     I know it's incredibly blatant and past due. But didn't we all see the billboards last year for the movie "Friends with Benefits", but instead of Justin Timberlake in the lead, it was Ashton Kutcher. And instead of Mila Kunis it was Natalie Portman.

     Hollywood. Really?

Wisdom's Knocking:

Repetition usually works best in gym workouts and classroom settings.

Glass Brick House

     Photo Credit: Infinity Pictures

   
     Yesterday I didn't know. But today I do.

     It's interesting how you view people in the light of new and earth shattering knowledge.

     Wow. And just when I thought that their life was perfect. I mean, this information pretty much stunned me. And it takes a lot for me to get stunned nowadays.

     I'm pretty much comfortable with the fact that a random person at the DMV, gas station, post office, mall, etc. will for no reason in particular start telling me their whole life story.

     But wow. When  I heard this news, it caused me to once again reevaluate my own eye sight; and to confront the reality that what I truly see and know is in part.

     A perceived happy ending or happily ever after is much more telling of a potential beginning rather than a definitive statement of the current position of a circumstance and/or relationship.

Wisdom's Knocking:

What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others.  ~French Proverb

See Her, See Him

Photographer: Joel Stephens

     I was just thinking about the power of an image.

     I can literally have an emotional reaction according to how light and shadows, composition and depth of field are treated in a particular photo.

     And the way in which I retain information the best is through visual imagery.

      For the person that is blind, I've been told that there is still a perception of imagery, whether it be spacial or auditory. Point being, influence is being made upon them and through them as well.

     Visually we are always sending out a message to one another. We are continually relaying information without our words performing functions and reasons for us. I wonder what my images are saying to you today?

Wisdom's Knocking:

A picture is worth a thousand words.

When a Man Prays

   

      Some of you remember that I was doing my top people picks for the month of June. Well, here's my fifth and final highlight: Kyle Moon.

     There is just something about a person that listens.

      Not just a person that looks like they're listening--Staring intently at your forehead. No, the person that looks you deep in the eye and can recite back to you almost word for word what you had been sharing to them when you happened to have a brain fart and forgot what the heck you were talking about.

      Kyle is undercover.

      He could easily get overshadowed by someone with a loud personality and glitzy charisma. But instead, he takes the slow and steady approach.

      And his heart to see the best happen in your life may take you by surprise. You might even be a little bit suspicious. Can anyone really be this sincere?

      But alas, yes.

      And don't even get me started about the power of prayer. Most of you know, I love prayer. It's my intentional time with God and there's such a unique presence of God that I feel when I pray. And I love praying for people. Never hesitate to ask me to pray with you. For reals.

     With my love of prayer in mind, I am especially moved when I see a man praying intently. It just does something to my heart. And when Kyle prays, not only do you feel the love of God, but you also feel the amazing and good intentions that God has for your life. So powerful!

     With that said, when you see Kyle remember that he is undercover. He may appear like a lamb, but that boy is really a lion.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Remember, not all people see you according to your faults,
but many people see you according to your potential to receive love.

ManEater

Photographer: Joel Stephens

Guys:

      What do you really think of women pushing up on you, making the first move? I've heard both answers to this question in the past. There's a group of guys that are like, "Yeah, bring it." Then there's another group of guys that are like, "Yeah, No."  And then there's the guys that are like, "Yeah, bring it...But I still need to propose first, if it gets down to that."

     I bring this up, because I was Facebook stalking and saw some interesting activity...You know the type of activity that insists that a girl is in deep "Like" with a particular guy. Therefore, she feels compelled to comment on every status update, picture, post, etc. etc. The purpose being, so that her presence stays known and on the mind of that particular guy. But can that have an adverse effect?

     I'm like, dang. Aren't you worn out with all that stalkery and pursuit. Raise up a little. Geez.

     And look, I'm not casting the first stone. I've done it myself. But I have recently retired from that game.

    I personally love it when I'm pursued. Not like in a scary way, but in a "Your mama raised you right" kind of way. Plus, I love seeing Gentlemen act like Gentlemen. And I feel as if men get far more satisfaction with the Chase rather than the Handed Plate. The appreciation for the woman would appear to increase with the former approach as well. Am I wrong, men?

     For me, as the woman, it puts me in an automatic place of security when I am pursued. I don't have to consistently doubt your affections for me or if they were manipulated because of me.

     Therefore, fellas, if I'm not blowing up your Facebook page with my comments and presence. Chances are, I actually like you, but I'm waiting for you to get hip to the idea...

Wisdom's Knocking:

There is great tension in the waiting and the pursuit. But the tension clarifies true intention.

Full

     Photo Credit: Joel Stephens

     Today--Well actually, this past week, I've had this tangible feeling of fulfillment. It's such a beautiful thing. At this moment in time, my life feels incredibly full. And I feel as if I'm lacking nothing.

     I'm not just proclaiming that I'm lacking nothing. I actually feel as though I'm am not lacking anything. It's an amazing transition for me.

     These are big words coming from someone who had been constantly on the search for romance to add the missing piece of life's meaning to her already busy life.

     But something shifted a few weeks ago.

     I should have shared this with you sooner. Nevertheless, I'll fill you in now. I won't give all of the details, but I'll just say this: There is something to be said of sacrifice, timing, dreams, and fulfillment.

     I laid down my dreams of writing and traditional narrative filmmaking after I left film school. It was necessary. God was working on my heart. And I let Him.

     Fast Forward 4 years later and I am now in an amazing writing group and I'm working on my first feature length script. The process alone has brought life to me in ways that I can't even fully explain. It has brought fulfillment and light to every other aspect of my life (Vocationally and Ministry wise).

     The stories that are coming out of me come from a place of patience and my unique experiences and observations. Mostly, the things that matter most to me.

     I cannot wait to share these stories with you in the future...

Wisdom's Knocking:

Don't fight the process and the journey. 

Oh Man, I'm a Lady!

Photographer: Lindsay Coleman

     Earlier this week, I must have been giving off the Vibe. You know. The Vibe.

     Men folk were sniffing like dogs. And someone dared to kiss my neck upon a goodbye salutation. Wow.

     I was looking at myself in the mirror earlier this week to see if I could recognize any sort of tangible difference in my demeanor or physique in the last few months. I scanned and couldn't find anything out of the normal. Well, you know, besides being a Brick House. But that wasn't necessarily a surprise to me.

     I'm always curious to know how one hits the Vibe Stride. It's like one minute your a spinster and then the next your the Bachlorette and folks start acting a bit like paparazzi and personal assistants..."I just want to be on your team."

     I wish I knew how to bottle this Vibe up. But alas, it's fun to be surprised when it hits.

     So today, I guess, I'll simply enjoy being a lady.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Don't be afraid of your own beauty.

Line of the Day

     Helena. This blog post is for you.

     I'm almost positive I had one of the best childhoods ever. And I was keen enough to realize that fact while I was living in that particular prime of my life. My summers were pretty much the business. I grew up in Southern California, but I spent all of my summers in Upstate New York, until about the age of 16.

     My Grandmother, Aunt, Cousins, Best Friend Tammy, and a slew of extended family and other friends were there. And I was never lacking in terms of exciting outings, summer reading, and amazing stories that would forever shape my mindset, work ethic, and the way I understand family and community.

     My earliest memories revolved around the amazing concerts my Aunt began taking me to at about age 10. I went to more concerts that I can even count. And we were almost always near the front row. I believe the first concert she took me to, was at the Starlite Theatre in Latham, NY. I absolutely LOVED that theatre. It was a music venue "In the round". And who did I see at my first concert. Oh, just Chaka Khan. Um. Yes. Believe it.

     I distinctly remember the beautiful glitter in Chaka Khan's hair. And I vowed that when I became a grown up,  I would wear glitter on everything I owned, including my hair.

     Today I was reminded of an amazing memory:

"Patrice, do you remember when you were on stage with Diana Ross and she asked you want you wanted to be when you grew up, and you said a lawyer?" - Helena

   
     Why yes I do. It's a true story. I was about 12 years old. My on-stage concert experiences would continue with the likes of Luther Vandross as well.

     So what ever happened to the Starlite Theatre...

     The Starlite was for many years an iconic place in the Capital Region, acting as one of the area’s key performance halls. In its glory days, it hosted legends like Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Sammy Davis Jr.

     But the theater closed in the late 1990s and is now dilapidated. Visitors, in fact, can walk right through holes in the exterior fence for an impromptu– and somewhat creepy — tour of the Starlite, which is still littered with programs for one of the last events there: the 1998 graduation ceremony for Shaker High School.

Credit: TimesUnion. Com 

     The article goes on to describe the possible construction of office space in the place of the Starlite. Sigh. It's a bit heartbreaking.

    So who were the last artists I saw play at the Starlite? Kriss Kross. And I'm pretty sure I wore my pants backwards. And did I also mention that Mike Tyson pinched (not punched) my face at the Starlite? Good times.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Take the time to enjoy the good times. Because the memories of such moments will become like streams of encouragement and hope in the desert of a weary heart.

Ride or Die Chick

     It's only fitting that I'm listening to M.C. Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" as I write about my next "Top Pick" person.

     Yes, the one and only, Yajaira "Heidi" Reynolds. I know she is probably cringing because I am putting on her blast and causing her to come into the stage light and out of the wings.

     Not only did she pioneer and administrate the best surprise birthday celebration for me, spanning different locations in Los Angeles and beyond, but she's been the friend that has believed in my talents and character when I least felt worthy to walk in my own shoes.

     I learned a great deal about freedom, fighting, resolve, patience, and fashion from her. She's definitely a chick that has Chutzpah. 

     For whatever reason, Heidi, has chosen to be loyal to me through the "Highs" and the "Lows" (Quotes denoting that this is a hilarious inside joke between the both of us. Perhaps we'll tell you about it one day).

     But in recent years, I've been the most proud by watching her step out on her own and pursue her dreams whole heartedly. It's been a rough and sincere journey. Most men would have fainted and bowed out. But Heidi stands. And not only stands, but continues to excel in her current vocation.

     Heidi will be that friend that reminds you of the truth, no matter how unpopular it may be at the time. She'll remind you of that truth that once poured from your lips. So that when you're in a circumstance that looks like a lie, she'll simply ask you to remember the truth.  

     And above all that, she will cut you if you talk about me or do me wrong. So watch your step.

----------------------------

     **Note: I'm posting this video because this is the language that Heidi and I use. Jill Scott is speaking our language.**

     And Jill Scott and Idris Elba!! Well. Just watch the clip for yourself...

-------------------------

     Not only is Heidi an amazing career woman in the world of fashion, but she's SINGLE. Say What! Here I go again being a P.R. Love agent.

Ms. Yajaira Reynolds

What I love about her: She's a Hustler (She knows how to improvise and get the job done) and she's a Romantic.


What you probably don't know about her: She's far more sensitive and gentle than she would have you believe.


What you should bring to the table: A good tattoo with meaning, A beard, Knowledge of the Word, and the ability to think outside the box.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"I hustle for my muscle, and you look weak son, real weak

Yeah, I'm going for all that I can get

Kickin it at the top, 'cause I'm too legit to quit." --M.C. Hammer

Don't Run Away

Photo Credit: Victoria Clemmons     

     While looking forward, it's easy to see the tornado ahead. But do you quiet yourself enough in the chaos to feel the whisper behind you?

     We love drama. Sometimes we jump into it, just to have something to talk about. Some of us don't know how to live a life that is drama free. Because to be still and at peace would somehow ruin our image of an exciting life. So we think.

      While you may be running, Someone is running faster than you. Someone is running towards you as you are running away.

      I tend to fight love.

      The biggest step for me, is surrendering to love.

      And today, I'm gonna try to not run away from love as it runs towards me. Because that tornado ahead look like crazy talk, but if I look closer, it's actually a cloud of wind-like love, fierce as can be, running towards me.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Love never fails.

No Response

     Photo Credit: Joel Stephens

     It feels awful to be ignored.

     For the most part, no one tries to engage another person in conversation with the expectation of them staring blankly at their face.

     And yet, we do this almost on a daily through a series of actions. This week in particular I sent out a couple of text messages. Only to never hear a reply back from those specific people. Pet peeve city. I mean, I can bare a bit of a delayed response. But a "No Response". Come on.

     We are good at the art of avoidance. But we should just simply state: "You are not a priority to me in this moment. Deal with it." Okay. That's harsh. But the time in which it takes you to read a quick text message, you could be so kind and considerate and simply respond with a "BRB" or some other hip nonsense. All to say, "Message Received--I see you. I hear you." But instead, a "No reply" feels like getting the hand in your face-- "Oh, no you de-ent!" Plus, if it was done to you (being ignored) regarding someone you truly esteemed, loved, and respected, your feelings would be hurt just the same.


     I wonder if these non-responders are related to the folks that quickly change their minds and principals according to how the wind blows. I was reminded earlier this week. "If your word doesn't carry weight--you have nothing." Simply, let your yes be yes and your no be no.

     So indeed use discretion regarding your phone number, and you'll have far less technology-relationship battles. As you know, a many text messages, or lack thereof, have gotten countless folks in trouble.

     And for the record: My text messages are not usually rhetorical. I'm just sayin'.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."

At Hello

"Top Picks" Here we go:

     So you heard about Lindsay and Margot. But now let's mix it up a bit. The ladies have clearly been reigning on my "Top Picks" list, but now I make room for the one and only Dan Molitor.

     You know when you go to a magic show and your mind is blown. And you keep thinking, "How'd he do that??" Yeah, well my first encounter with Dan was a bit like that. It was one of those rare occurrences where someone genuinely makes you laugh and not because they're being awkward, but because you understand without pretense and explanation their sense of humor and story. Ah. What a relief and what a gift.

     One of my favorite quotes: "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people".

     But there was also something about Dan that was so real and honest and vulnerable. On the spot, unknown to him, I adopted him as my little brother. It became effortless to love him and to desire nothing but the best for him and his life.

     I love when that happens. When you feel a wonderful kinship with someone you just meet.

     I'm quite sure you'll hear about Dan in the years to come. You'll see his face in your magazines and hear his voice over airwaves. But just remember, prepare yourself for the unexpected. There's more than meets the eye with this one...

Wisdom's Knocking:

"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results." -- Frederick Buechner

Why Are You Single?

     Yes, yes. I know. Singleness is not a disease, contrary to what your mother has said in public or the culture at large. And you know me. I love and enjoy my life as a single woman. But I also love romance. Even when it's not happening to me.

     With that said, in addition to me mentioning my "Top Picks" of favorite people each month, I feel so inspired to highlight some of the beautiful people that I know who are single.

     I mean, I'm looking at your Facebook pictures, and it don't make no sense! Why hasn't someone snatched you up?? Okay, okay. Maybe you don't want to be "snatched" up. Which by the way, has a whole new connotation to me now. I just watched the reality series, "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding". Um. Google that mess. How is it, that I'm just now learning about a society of British "Travellers" that practices the art of "Grabbing".

     "Grabbing" in their culture, and yes, it is a separate culture in and of itself, of which the young boys initiate flirting, grab a girl and try to get her to kiss them. Verrrry interesting and a bit awkward to watch. But there I go again on one of my rabbit trails.

     But once again, I ask the question, "Why isn't anyone trying to holler at you?" In my eyes, you are quite the catch. Now, I'm not trying to be a matchmaker. My track record sucks a bit at that. But I will do my best to be a bit of a P.R. love agent.

     Let the chips fall where they may...

First Up:

Ms. Victoria Clemmons

What I love about her: Her quick wit and good heart.

What you probably don't know about her: She has a fan base

What you should bring to the table: A good song, kind eyes, a solid prayer, and good style

Wisdom's Knocking:

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

She's a Boss

     

     "Top Picks" continued.

     So let's get right into it. Margot Carlson was one of my top 5 June picks. Why? Because this chick is a bad mamma jamma. And mostly because she's awesome. Over the past few years, I've had the privilege of working with her on some of the craziest award shows on the planet. And she knows how to get the job done.

     But she completely surprised me in 2010 when she made my dreams come true by taking my to see the amazing musical Broadway hit, "In the Heights" during it's short run in Los Angeles. Not only did she treat me to amazing seats but the timing of seeing "In the Heights" was perfect. We were able to see it with the creator, Lin-Manuel Miranda playing the lead role of which he made famous on Broadway. Ahh! I was in heaven. And I shared that memory with the ever so lovely, Margot.

     By far, that was the best date I've had in about 5 years.

     Margot Carlson: Thank you for your hugs, your humor, and your love. Can't wait to see you on the next show!

     Next up, from my "June Top Picks"...Dan Molitor...

Wisdom's Knocking:

Who you work with, is often who you spend the most time with. Pick a vocation you love.

Time Cop

Artwork By: Lindsay Coleman     

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     Love your faces!

Wisdom's Knocking:

Just because something is delayed, doesn't mean it's denied.