tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-369772872024-03-13T20:12:58.909-07:00Puerility Vol. 1It's always the right time for love and adventure. <br>Hope-filled encourager. TV Freelancer. Writer of the single life, romance, & some things in between:
Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.comBlogger576125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-24284482044299436672015-06-09T21:46:00.000-07:002015-06-09T21:48:29.544-07:00We've Moved!!<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">All New Blog Posts can be found at: <a href="http://www.patricepatrick.com/">WWW.PATRICEPATRICK.COM</a></span></b></div>
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<i>The journey continues...</i></div>
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-47952577855408563232015-06-09T18:26:00.000-07:002015-06-09T18:26:02.968-07:00Aloha<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1433898714049_30211" style="background-color: white; color: #3e3e3e; font-family: 'Gotham SSm A', 'Gotham SSm B', 'Gotham SSm', Gotham, 'Proxima Nova', 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 22px; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8tdSyMySRBY/VXeRv3TtAcI/AAAAAAAADfs/Y4rJr7-oB24/s1600/Aloha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: transparent; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8tdSyMySRBY/VXeRv3TtAcI/AAAAAAAADfs/Y4rJr7-oB24/s640/Aloha.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> A beginning and an ending.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Just finished watching the movie, "<a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1243974/" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1243974/" style="-webkit-transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out; background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;" target="_blank">Aloha</a>" and it's put me in a perfect mood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em> Aloha.</em> This idea of a hello greeting and a goodbye greeting...feels so vivid to me in this particular space and time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> It's true. One must be willing to let go of the old to truly embrace something new. But often these changes in seasons intersect, or rather overlap in certain ways.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And I, doing my best to rest and pay attention, feel like I'm on the tail end of one of the hardest emotional seasons I've had in a long while.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> A sense of heart pain, hopelessness, sickness, and unrest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> But something's ending. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And something<em> is beginning</em>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Aloha.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> A few nights ago, Mr. "<a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.patricepatrick.com/theblog/2015/5/15/full-attention" href="http://www.patricepatrick.com/theblog/2015/5/15/full-attention" style="-webkit-transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out; background: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none; transition: border-color 0.1s ease-in-out;" target="_blank">Full Attention</a>" and I crossed paths once again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And my heart was soft and tender.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> To me, in my current state of affairs, it's absolutely amazing--to have an engaged and tender heart, in lieu of the previous circumstance that was an offense to my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Sometimes you just want to understand what is going on inside the head and heart of a person. And perhaps see yourself through their eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> I wonder how he sees me? Or if he just looks through me, or is turned off by me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> But that night reset something in my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> It wasn't about him and me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Or me and anyone else for that matter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> It was about what God was speaking to my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And I listened.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> I was challenged with the subject of Forgiveness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> I hadn't realized how I was staying stuck in some sort of emotional heart trauma because I let bitterness stay and live in my heart. It felt good to have a target for my anger. For what has felt like a decade of injustice in the area of my personal romance and love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> He was no saint, but he definitely got caught in my own personal crossfire.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> But now, it was time for me to Forgive.</span></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Aloha.</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> As it's been said before, forgiveness is truly about setting your own heart free as well as releasing someone from a prison of your own making, that they are rarely cognizant of.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> It's not so much about excusing the wrong, but actually admitting it--and choosing the higher way of love for your own heart's sake.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> It truly is amazing how our hearts and minds can get stuck, once we enter into the cycle of bitterness and unforgiveness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Yet in order for life and love to truly thrive, Forgiveness is a non-negotiable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And oh the healing that it brings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> So that night, I was challenged and invited into Forgiveness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And I said yes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> This past season, I've dealt with random health scares, facing a strange man almost breaking into my house, a fender bender with a semi-truck, sleepless nights, nights full of tears, and a wrestling with my own personal destiny in God and a despondency regarding my own romance journey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Yet something is ending.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> And something new is beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> I want to feel the embrace and breath of destiny surrounding me. I want to be held in those moments in all my vulnerability. I want his comforting hand to gently stroke my back, as he looks into my eyes, as if to search for a constellation--reading the stories which are held there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> It's not all said and done for you and I just yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> The air is still thick with Promise, although Trauma from this past season would try to step up on some two-bit soapbox and dictate its demands.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> But no.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Something <em>is ending</em>. And something is beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Hello.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Goodbye.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Aloha.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Wisdom's Knocking:</b></span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">“But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">― <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1069006.C_S_Lewis" href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1069006.C_S_Lewis" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none;">C.S. Lewis</a>, <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1059917" href="http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1059917" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(121, 121, 121); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #2777ae; text-decoration: none;">The Last Battle</a></span></div>
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-51986065344705210732015-05-15T17:04:00.000-07:002015-05-15T17:04:18.271-07:00Full Attention<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nk-v3eb7AaY/VVaH7mkaJkI/AAAAAAAADbQ/KmW_NF3mzvc/s1600/fullattention.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nk-v3eb7AaY/VVaH7mkaJkI/AAAAAAAADbQ/KmW_NF3mzvc/s640/fullattention.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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When we first met, it was kind of awful.<br />
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It was awkward and ill-timed. Perhaps too soon.<br />
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The anticipation of meeting you almost overtook me.<br />
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And then your attention and affections were elsewhere. Eyes jetting to and fro, but never truly on mine.<br />
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And I was present, but you were somewhere else.<br />
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I expected so much more, and that may have been the problem.<br />
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But first impressions are quite something.<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking: </i></b></div>
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"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity."</div>
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- Simon Weil</div>
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-6481751452114320882015-05-15T16:23:00.002-07:002015-05-15T16:23:43.940-07:00Together & Tender<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dZINySSUkEA/VVZ_2Xbcj-I/AAAAAAAADbA/QFmOiI50LW4/s1600/togetherandtendr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="468" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dZINySSUkEA/VVZ_2Xbcj-I/AAAAAAAADbA/QFmOiI50LW4/s640/togetherandtendr.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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It's been one of those tender seasons for me.<br />
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But now, I feel like I can write about it.<br />
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I tried writing this piece several times before, earlier this week, but it the timing wasn't quite right. There was a missing component.<br />
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But yesterday, the missing component showed up.<br />
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And here I am.<br />
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Writing.<br />
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My mom, who works at a high school (and was just rewarded <b>Employee of the Year,</b> by the way....#prouddaughter) and I have frequently talked about how prevalent anxiety and depression is in this generation. Especially among young adults and teenagers.<br />
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And yet this is the privileged generation, are we not?<br />
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We are reaping the bounty that came forth by way of the blood, sweat, and tears of our grandparents and great-grandparents. And yet, we have gotten ourselves in new cages, new prisons, with different battles to face and conquer. Our new and dangerous frontier of sorts--which has become the war in our minds.<br />
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I think one of the most crippling components of anxiety is a sense of hopelessness.<br />
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Because everything just starts unraveling so fast, that you almost don't have time to catch your breath.<br />
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And that's how I felt this past week.<br />
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It's like, in a moment, all that you think you know about God just vanishes, and you try to rationalize every single thing. Which leaves you even more hopeless, when trying to see these things without God. Because the <i>Tree of the knowledge of good and evil </i>can never give you lasting fruit or peace--just information...<br />
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But only the One who is the true Tree of Life can give peace and real tangible <b>hope</b>.<br />
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I feel like I relearn this afresh every few months or so.<br />
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It was clear this week, I not only wanted but <b>needed </b>to experience the closeness of God--the One who is nearer to us than a mother or a brother.<br />
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So in the midst of my mind swirling, I became desperate. I needed <i>faces</i> of love and comfort around me and not necessarily Netflix.<br />
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And so I drove yesterday. I drove out to see my friend and her family.<br />
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And I was still anxious and still uneasy, but being around them made it better.<br />
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And then they prayed for me.<br />
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And my tears, started streaming down my face like tiny hot rivers.<br />
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And the prayers continued.<br />
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And then I was hugged. And held. Like a child again.<br />
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And an avalanche of all the pain I had bottled up these past few weeks, fell to the floor.<br />
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Disappointment. Fear of death. Fear of my loved ones dying. Fear of being abandoned in life...because I couldn't see or hear or feel the tangible hope of God in my pain...<i>until right then.</i><br />
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And God came through their hands and hugs and gave me comfort and hope and peace.<br />
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I felt and knew that I wasn't alone.<br />
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And that in all of this, I truly was with someone--<i><b>together.</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i> Being a single <i>grown</i> woman at times is rough.<br />
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But it truly is God who places us in families. No matter what are status is in life. The invitation is always extended.<br />
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Because I know now more than ever, that we are not meant to do the work alone, not now, and not ever.<br />
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We need family. Even if our current mothers and fathers are still alive, and especially if they are not. Just know, that it's a promise from God that He will <i>place you in and give you a family (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+68%3A5-6&version=NIV" target="_blank">Psalm 68:5-6</a>)</i><br />
<i><br /></i> It's sometimes hard to fully comprehend that as Believers we will never be separated from the Love of God. Especially in times of pain. But the promise still stands. And oh my goodness, what an incredible promise it is.<br />
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With that said, I hope to spend my entire lifetime gazing at, knowing, and experiencing <i>this Love</i>.<br />
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It took me a moment to fall asleep last night. But I did.<br />
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And I felt peace. The peace that I had been missing and been without for the last couple of weeks.<br />
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It often pays off to be tender.<br />
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But even more so...<b><i>together</i></b>.<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace<br />
as you trust in him, so that you may overflow<br />
with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."<br />
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- Romans 15:13</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-26956874922314545272015-05-06T17:44:00.000-07:002015-05-06T17:44:07.582-07:00Seeing Ourselves Through the Eyes of Love<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>This blog piece is dedicated to the stunningly beautiful and talented</i></div>
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<i><b>Lauren Evans </b>who invited me to share my heart on this topic:</i></div>
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God knows how to <b><i>always find us</i></b>.<br />
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He knows how to find you.<br />
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Often though, we don't want to be found. Not truly.<br />
<br />
Because being found, means being seen.<br />
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And being seen, means being vulnerable.<br />
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And being vulnerable means the pain and the joy, the cracks and the deep crevices of our lives are on display.<br />
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And we've worked so hard to hide them.<br />
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To even hide them from ourselves.<br />
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<b> But He sees us.</b><br />
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Completely. And Wholly. And <i>without fear of us</i> and all our entanglements.<br />
<br />
And today I was seen.<br />
<br />
It's roughly 3PM and I'm still in bed in my pajamas.<br />
<br />
Let's back track a little.<br />
<br />
My heart has been feeling that something huge-- <i>something big</i> is about to be on the horizon for me very soon. Like my life, in the best possible way is about to be enriched and amended.<br />
<br />
You and I are sensitive to life like that sometimes. Often we <b><i>just know</i></b>, when something is about to change before it does.<br />
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Now rarely does the change come as we often perceive or expect, but it's change nevertheless.<br />
<br />
With world events as bleak and strange as they have been these last few weeks, it seems as though my city is in heartache and pain, and somehow bracing for some sort of (other) big impact.<br />
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This plays itself out in short tempers, lots of car honking (beyond the normal), and a general sense of unease and/or paranoia throughout.<br />
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A general lack of love is subsequently trying to pervade.<br />
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<b> But He sees us.</b><br />
<b><br /></b> Last week I battled through 2 back-to-back bouts of food poisoning. #ofcourse<br />
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Immediately, I felt like a boxer in the ring, getting my head, gut and heart pounded on. I was a true staggering mess. When your health is awry, your mind feels assaulted and you just feel like throwing in the towel on so many different levels of life. My heart goes out to those who are battling health issues in this season of life. You feel uncontrollably vulnerable, and often hopeless. But know that you are not fully defeated. And even in such a fight, God's presence is most definitely there. Because it's been written and lived out, that "in our weakness, God's strength is made perfect..."<br />
<b><br /></b><b> He sees us.</b><br />
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Once the food poisoning episode concluded, a resolve rose in me.<br />
<br />
Last month, I hit a semi-truck and then soon after came these weird bouts of food poisoning.<br />
<br />
Conclusion: <i>Naturally, something great is on the horizon for me.</i><br />
<br />
How could I say something like that?<br />
<br />
<b> Because of my track record.</b><br />
<br />
Anytime, I've experienced a beautiful breakthrough of sorts, drama has always preceded it.<br />
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It's as if demonic forces are scared to death of the next level of blessing I'm about to enter into, and try as they must, they attempt to veer me off course with fear and intimidation.<br />
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But I'm <b>not</b> going out like that.<br />
<br />
You're<b> not </b>going out like that.<br />
<br />
<b> God sees us.</b><br />
<br />
So this morning, I just spent some time talking to God--Thanking Him for the little things, the big things, the sometimes overlooked things (roof over our heads, a toilet that flushes, a bed, etc....)<br />
<br />
But I could sense there was a tender part of my heart I was hoping we wouldn't need to talk about in great detail.<br />
<br />
<b> Romance.....</b><br />
<br />
You see, <i>seeing myself with the eyes of love</i>, begins with me posturing myself to hear--to pay attention---but first to the eternal Lover of my soul.<br />
<br />
There's a passage in the Bible that says "God has set <i>eternity</i> in the human heart". Ahhhh. I just love that. There's something beyond time <i>as we know it currently now on earth</i>. In fact we can sense it. And the only thing that can satisfy an eternal longing already in our hearts (beyond the earthly love we experience) is the love of an <i>eternal </i>God.<br />
<br />
<b> A key</b> to seeing ourselves through the eyes of love, is to pay attention...<br />
<br />
How else does one learn anything? How does one learn to love? There's always trial and error (and/or regret, I suppose), which is often the long road to being made forced to pay attention. But instead of taking such a road, I simply choose to pay attention, <i>in the now</i>.<br />
<br />
Let me finish that previous <b>key</b>. It's not just in the paying attention, but in <i>paying attention to the way of love unfolding around us</i>.<br />
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Easiest way to find out how love is trying to get our attention. <b>List 10 things</b> that you are thankful for in your life (Go ahead, just think of 10 things mentally--take a minute....I'll be here...).<br />
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<b> Voilà! </b> You've just paid attention to the Love of God being poured out in your life in specific ways.<br />
<br />
<b> He sees us.</b><br />
<br />
So He brought up <b>Romance</b> to me.<br />
<br />
And I fidgeted about for about 30 minutes, got online, and tried to avoid the nagging questions...<br />
<br />
<b> "Do you believe, I can....? And do you believe I want to? And do you believe I want this for you?"</b><br />
<br />
"Sure. Sure I do." I reply to the still small voice. Neither of us being convinced.<br />
<br />
I continue surfing the web.<br />
<br />
You know how one thing leads you to another thing on the internet? It's like going into Target. You start with good intentions.....and then it all goes to crap.....Like when you only plan on checking your email for 10 minutes, but now an hour later, you've found yourself buying <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Marvel-Avengers-Lenticular-Christmas-Stocking/dp/B00HQ2I8EU" target="_blank">Avenger Christmas stockings</a> on Amazon...How did we arrive here?<br />
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And so it goes.<br />
<br />
I found myself listening to a podcast, which then made me research the people on the podcast, which then led me to a video of one of the people sharing a testimony of how unexpected their miraculous breakthrough came--of how they had to bring before God in prayer, their discouragement and disappoint because the breakthrough didn't come when expected nor did it look like they planned for it to look at first. But yet, they trusted and believed in God's goodness still.<br />
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And true to His word, their breakthrough did come, on God's terms--in the grand scheme of his beautiful story, not simply by means of the limited perspective of man.<br />
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So, I'm hearing this.<br />
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Then all of a sudden the person speaking shifted in their purpose and began to pray for those that are single and feel called to marriage, yet have grown weary in the waiting, and in the timing of things.<br />
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And then this person began to pray an array of <b>restoring</b> and <b>healing</b> words <i>over every listener......</i><br />
<br />
<b> I cried.</b><br />
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He found me.<br />
<br />
And He saw me.<br />
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<b><i> We are always worth being found, beloved. Always worth it to Him.</i></b><br />
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Never forget that.<br />
<br />
Remind yourself of that everyday. Even--<i>especially</i> in the midst of heartache and pain. Confess the truth to your heart. And <b>do not</b> fall for a lie.<br />
<br />
The eyes of Love see us first, often before we even see ourselves, or know the true need that we are in.<br />
<br />
God does not just "have" love to give, <b>He IS Love</b>. And He is an endless and eternal supply of such love.<br />
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I'm able to see myself as lovely, because "He first loved us"...<br />
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We were, and are <i>worth</i> being loved in His eyes.<br />
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You are truly <b>Beloved</b>.<br />
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So when I look at my reflection in the mirrors in my car, the store, my house, a person's eyes, I try and let that translate fully to my mind and to my body. That God sees me always and that I am loved.<br />
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I want to pay attention. I want to remind myself that I was made for love, and that I am lovable where ever I happen to place my feet on this earth. Not simply loved and seen through the eyes of love, on my own accord, but rather I am loved with a fiery, passionate eternal Love that can never be quenched and is <i>beyond myself.</i><br />
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And it is <i>this Love</i> that sees me.<br />
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It is this <i>Love</i> that guides me.<br />
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And that <i>Love</i> looks like something in my life. And I get the honor and privilege of responding to love if I so choose. To received from it, to drink from it. To allow my actions to be flavored by it.<br />
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And this is the <i>Love </i>that beckons me to <b>take in</b> the kindness of God.<br />
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God is the <b>Kindest</b> One I know.<br />
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And I only become more kind, by being around Him--acknowledging Him, and paying attention to his Kindness. Because He's present. Always.<br />
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With that said, <b>key #2</b>, in seeing yourself through the eyes of love, is being <b>KIND</b> to yourself. To your mind, to your body. Give yourself grace, God already has.<br />
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You'll also find, the more kind you are to yourself, the easier it becomes to be kind and gracious to others. You'll realize more and more, that you and I are not the only ones walking out a treacherous and glorious story...<br />
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<b><i> He sees us.</i></b><br />
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How refreshing to know, that we can always be found.<br />
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Because Love never gives up on us, and never stops looking for us...<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? </div>
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And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, </div>
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he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. </div>
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Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish."</div>
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- Matthew 18:12-14</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-51355602521182098262015-04-27T14:00:00.000-07:002015-04-27T14:00:00.594-07:00Dysfunctional<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Everyone always seems so dashingly normal.<br />
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All of you.<br />
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I walk past you in the street.<br />
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I drive past you on the road.<br />
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I order my tea from you in a semi-posh sounding cafe.<br />
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I sit next to you at church.<br />
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And you, yes, even you seem normal.<br />
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And then, we become friends.<br />
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We talk after a lunch, or before a lunch.<br />
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And some of your crazy starts to seep out.<br />
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But I just laugh. To make us both feel comfortable.<br />
<br />
But deep down you know we are both thinking. What the <i>hell</i> is happening?<br />
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I pray for grace. Grace to not stare at you like a homeless person wanting answers. Like, "Where's my money? And my life? And how did we get here?"<br />
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Were we ever really normal??<br />
<br />
Now is probably <u>not</u> a good time to remind you that I've been a youth pastor for a little over 7 years. Especially since this post is more PG-13 than most of my other writings. But nevertheless, I wanted to be real and frank with you.<br />
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I've had to wrestle with the hard truth, that often, I would become just a blip of a memory in the lives of the kids that I mentored, prayed for, cried over, and watched grow into young adults these past 7 years.<br />
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Grappling with the fact that I might not see any real change and growth in an immediate time span, but rather, I might have to wait years and years to see the seeds of what I planted grow in these young hearts. Or the stark possibility that they may never grow and reach their true potential ever. This possible reality being the most Heartbreaking.<br />
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I knew all of this was on the table 7 years ago. But when we do things out of love, logic doesn't always figure in properly. And I didn't step into my role as a youth pastor from a logical standpoint, but rather out of an opportunity to love--the <i>agape </i>way--the sacrificial way. A way in which getting something back of equal value in the relationship, was never going to be a guarantee.<br />
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Because you see, spending time with me for a little over an hour on a Sunday, wasn't going to be enough to counter the dysfunction that was going on in their respective homes.<br />
<br />
And let's just call a spade a spade here.<br />
<br />
These kids were dealing with some real-deal-Holyfield dysfunction.<br />
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Suicidal parents, life-threatening illnesses, death of parents, sibling abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, drug addiction, sex addiction, crippling obesity, paralyzing depression, devastating fear...<br />
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And add on top of all that: PUBERTY.<br />
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For these teens, Sunday morning was simply respite.<br />
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Enough for someone to catch their breath.<br />
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But not to necessarily change.<br />
<i><br /></i><i> Not just yet.</i><br />
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And as we wrestled their demons together, I wondered how my efforts fared against the storm raging in their personal homes. The places where they sleep, drink, and eat. Where life is really being lived.<br />
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And the verdict is now out.<br />
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The places we call home truly do shape us the most--<i>even if we are trying to run away</i> from a negative stigma of home.<br />
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Our <i>beginnings</i> in this life do set a course of sorts....what we love, what we hate, what we cling to...<br />
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I have seen God do the miraculous. Really, I have.<br />
<br />
Some crazy sci-fi miraculous. Blind eyes that begin to see. Cancer disappearing. This has become my normal.<br />
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But the miracle that truly <b><i>floors</i></b> me every time is that of a <b>CHANGED</b> life.<br />
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A life that is so incredibly impacted and beautifully wrecked by love, that all hindrances of the past are but ashes.<br />
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Old friends barely recognize you, because that's the kind of change that's happened in your life, your heart, and your internal and external world.<br />
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But some people are just not tired <i>enough</i> of their dysfunction.<br />
<br />
Those that I thought had learned their lessons, and have chosen to grow and change out of a toxic lifestyle, are now showing their true struggle in this hour. Their dysfunction is now pushing through the poorly built facade they created. The facade that was much like a straw roof on a brick house. All in an attempt for them to not have to "do the work" -- to face their truth, their current ordeal and mindset and furthermore, make new and better choices...over the playing field of time.<br />
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But these things require work.<br />
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And not everyone is up for the tedious discipline that change demands of us.<br />
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So here's the thing.<br />
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If you are choosing to lie (whether out of pride, fear laziness, or arrogance) <b>and/or</b> to remain dysfunctional. I give you that space, wholeheartedly to make that choice. Yes. That is a choice.<br />
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But here's the thing, I just can't carry you with me up the mountain.<br />
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The intimate reserves of my life, dreams, and time will now get shifted towards those folks also pursuing health and breaking the patterns of dysfunction in their own lives.<br />
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Because guess what?<br />
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I'm somewhat dysfunctional, too.<br />
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And I know that misery loves company, and the temptation to stay dysfunctional is all too great, even for me.<br />
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<b> So how does one break out of dysfunction?</b><br />
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<i> Pursue</i> and stay in emotional health for yourself first.<br />
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Make that a priority.<br />
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And no, that is not selfish.<br />
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It's like what they tell you on airplanes...<i>put the mask on yourself first, before assisting someone else--even a small child...</i><br />
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Can I tell you a secret?<br />
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The big draw for me becoming a youth pastor, is because God baited me with the promise of healing my own heart through loving these wild, broken, tender, and adventurous teenagers. <br />
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It all came with <i>doing the work </i>on the ground level, but in the context of a youth group. From the non-glamorous and often non-romantic aspects of sitting in meetings, planning, coordinating, and attending small teen prayer and worship nights, youth retreats, service projects, and driving teenagers all over southern California for the last 7 years, while working full time in TV production.<br />
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It was <i>my</i> road out of my own deep dysfunction and pain.<br />
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But what's your road?<br />
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In my constant pursuit to know God more, to love people wholeheartedly and well, it has become imperative that my core group of friends be in a place of health.<br />
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Now I didn't say perfect.<br />
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And we are all free to wallow every now and again.<br />
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But that's not what I'm talking about.<br />
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I'm talking about folks that get you, and that you get as well.<br />
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People that you are choosing of whom are choosing you right back. Iron sharpening iron. Those bringing out the <b>best</b> in you, and you bringing out the <b>best</b> in them.<br />
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As you continue to pursue health, in all its forms in your life (spiritually, emotionally, physically), you'll need to get around and glean from other spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy people.<br />
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(Which, by the way, may not be in your current friend group....)<br />
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But be warned, you'll be challenged to grow and to change.<br />
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And if you're not really ready to change, conflict will arise--mostly within your own life.<br />
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So do yourself the honor of <u>not lying</u> to yourself.<br />
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If you need help, admit it.<br />
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If you're not really ready to change. Admit it. And <i>explore the reasons why...</i><br />
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And if you're scared to change. Admit it. And confide in someone who will breathe life into your dreams and kill your doubts.<br />
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Two people that have had a far-reaching influence in my emotional health are Bruce and Jean Hammond.<br />
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They are hands down one of my favorite married couples of all time. And simply two of my favorite people on the planet.<br />
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I met them years ago, when I had my first intense counseling session with them.<br />
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4 hours later, they had discovered and exposed a deep-seated area of dysfunction in my own heart, and in that session, they became God's vessels of profound healing.<br />
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I've never had an experience quite like that <b>ever or since</b>.<br />
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Their ministry is quite unique.<br />
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Here's a description of what they do, taken from their website, "<b><a href="http://www.destinymanifest.net/" target="_blank">Destiny Manifest</a></b>":<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>Destiny Manifest </b></i><i>is the ministry of Bruce and Jean Hammond who are servants of Jesus Christ with a unique ability to bring understanding, clarity, and insight.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Through a combination of practical knowledge and the leading of the Holy Spirit (Romans 12:6 and 1 Corinthians 12:8) we bring freedom to people who often have felt like there is nowhere else to turn for answers. As a believer in Christ, everyone should experience the joy of knowing truth in the innermost being (Psalm 51:6). The inner life often takes a back seat as people struggle to make their way through life and in effect ignore the deep places of hurt or lack of emotional foundation in their souls. These hurts, or areas of lack, eventually end up affecting their relationships, work life, and destiny.<br /><br />Jesus said He came to “heal the broken hearted” (Luke 4:18-NASB). The apostle John takes it a step further: “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers” (3 John 1:2 -NASB).<br /><br />We believe that as a person comes to prosper in their soul and understands truth in their innermost being, they will not only enjoy a healthy emotional life, but their relationships, work life, and fulfillment will be greatly enhanced. Destiny will manifest.<br /><br />For further information or to schedule appointment, Please
<b><u><a href="mailto:BandJHammond@bellsouth.net" target="_blank">Click Here </a></u></b>to Email Destiny Manifest or call 615-217-1763
</i></blockquote>
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Although Bruce and Jean are based in Tennessee, they travel quite frequently all over, and also do Skype sessions.<br />
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So if you're resolute or tired of your current lifestyle of dysfunction, or you've just been feeling stagnant in ways that you just can't put your finger on---maybe it's time to do something crazy and intentional. Something as crazy as calling them or emailing them....<br />
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Tell them I sent you. xo<br />
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They won't think you're crazy. I promise.<br />
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In fact, they'll simply think you're <b>lovable</b> and <b>brave</b>.<br />
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Our dysfunctional journeys don't have to be solo. Thank God we don't have to be alone in all of this--left to our own devices.<br />
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Thank goodness, a road has been walked out before us.<br />
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A road marked with tears and blood, but also with victory and love.<br />
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A road beckoning us beyond our dysfunction and the mistreatment done to us through our past.<br />
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The road ahead <b><i>is</i></b> going somewhere--<i>somewhere we've always, sincerely longed to go...</i><br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">“Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">and be in good health, </span><span style="text-align: start;">just as your soul prospers.” </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">-- 3 John 1:2 (NASB)</span></div>
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-71024941066871786602015-04-21T17:00:00.000-07:002015-04-21T17:00:00.411-07:00Master Manipulator<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
The things we do to be seen. My Lord.<br />
<br />
And I'm often aware that us girls can be master manipulators.<br />
<br />
So my prayer constantly is: "<i>Lord, help me get out of my own way...</i>"<br />
<br />
Not too long ago, I orchestrated something, in the hopes that when the picture of the event went live online, a particular person--No, A particular man would see it, then comment on it. And would then see me in a different light.<br />
<br />
And then...he would be <i>so</i> enamored by my sense of adventure, my ability to have such rich friendships, and such an exciting and enticing life...<br />
<br />
He'd then be curious about me and would feel <b><i>compelled</i></b> to get to know me and date me.<br />
<br />
<i> And then love me.</i><br />
<br />
And then marry me. <b>Naturally.</b><br />
<br />
How could he not?<br />
<br />
End of story.<br />
<br />
I know, I know.<br />
<br />
It's embarrassing to share.<br />
<br />
So all parties involved in today's "adventure" were for the most part used by me, to facilitate this grand scheme of sorts.<br />
<br />
Lame. Believe me, I'm aware.<br />
<br />
And my apologies to all parties involved. Although, they probably don't know who they are...because I'm often that good. Ugh. I know. Horrible.<br />
<br />
The overall point being.....anything that I try to produce out of my own manipulative striving and selfish gain ends up being wack-tastic. A fleeting and cheap regifting and regurgitation of the real thing.<br />
<br />
But anything I let God do and begin to orchestrate through a sense of <i>trust</i> and <i>rest</i> ends up becoming a gift of eternal weight, and a blessing beyond what I could have ever imagined--and not just for myself, but for all parties involved.<br />
<br />
And that's what I want---truly.<br />
<br />
The lasting gift-- not the temporary half-baked gift...on loan. <br />
<br />
So my prayer again tonight is: "<i>Lord, help me get out of my own way...</i>"<br />
<br />
And not be such a dang clever master manipulator.<br />
<br />
And to have patience for the <i>real thing</i>...<br />
<br />
The end.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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"The chief means of resisting manipulation is humility – knowing who we really are and facing it. </div>
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You can only serve by love. You can only love by choice. </div>
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True love cannot be the result of decree, force or manipulation."</div>
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- Gayle D. Erwin</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-19891150471707999332015-04-20T19:43:00.001-07:002015-04-20T19:43:42.975-07:00I Don't Want a Man<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I know. These posts keeping getting more and more bleak, especially for a "relationship" blog of sorts.<br />
<br />
But as I sit in my parent's rec room, and let the noise of some non-watched television show play in the background, I'm assessing once again.<br />
<br />
My dad is a kind genius of sorts.<br />
<br />
Did I tell you that I hit a semi-truck a couple of weeks ago?<br />
<br />
Well I did.<br />
<br />
I'm okay.<br />
<br />
Really.<br />
<br />
But now, my vehicle once again is in the hospital.<br />
<br />
I get it. These things happen. It's life.<br />
<br />
One day your doing fine. And then you're not.<br />
<br />
Bummer.<br />
<br />
But I called my dad right after the semi-truck and my vehicle had a rendezvous on an LA freeway.<br />
<br />
And I thought to myself, "How amazing is it that I actually have a dad to call right now, who can walk me through this whole mess and also understand all the technical aspects regarding the ways in which to fix my vehicle."<br />
<br />
My dad, he's just good at stuff.<br />
<br />
And I know this might sound morbid, but I'm constantly thinking, what will I do when my dad is gone?? Who will be the man in my life that I can call at any time of the day or night? Who will be the one that can always fix my car? The one that is willing to come rescue me as I'm stranded in God knows what city and won't leave my side until I ask him to?<br />
<br />
For those that don't know, my dad--or rather technically, my step dad, has raised me alongside my mom since I was about 3 years old. So yes, he's <b><i>my dad</i></b>. I can't remember a time that I ever referred to him as my step dad. That title never fit him.<br />
<br />
I understand sacrificial love because of him and how he's laid down his life for my mom and me.<br />
<br />
On certain occasions, I find myself thinking about those of us who had extraordinary fathers, it's sort of a crushing blow.<br />
<br />
Because many in this world did <i>not</i> have extraordinary fathers. And their actions reflect a sort of pain and anger. And I find myself in contention or at odds, or on a different playing field altogether when it comes to my faulty communication methods. Like, "But why are you so worried? It's gonna work out. It always does." Cue, the angry stares back at me, not understanding why I don't have my underwear in a bunch, why I'm not freaking out in the midst of turmoil and high intensity situations.<br />
<br />
But my words come from a place of feeling stability and safe, secure and cared for. All the things my dad provided for me while I was growing up.<br />
<br />
But then again, those of us with extraordinary fathers, sometimes take the whole experience for granted. And we can easily trip into this sense of entitlement and act as if we've lost all common sense and the world solely revolves around us. As if we are always owed something. But that's another topic all together. You know the topic, the one where you feel as if the world always owes you something, forgetting that the entire world is going through something everyday--Just.Like.You.<br />
<br />
But the nuts and bolts of it is this:<br />
<br />
I don't want a man.<br />
<br />
And I don't expect a man.<br />
<br />
Rather, I sorta kinda need a <i>champion</i>.<br />
<br />
I want a champion.<br />
<br />
One who's not afraid to get his hands dirty. To figure things out with me. To talk to me about random technical things. Because I'm always curious.<br />
<br />
One who's not afraid to be vulnerable with me, who's not afraid to be afraid, who's interested in the solution not just rehashing the problem.<br />
<br />
One who is sensitive to the ways of a woman.<br />
<br />
One who's finished living recklessly. So much so, the rough parts of him have given way to the diamond essence of who he is.<br />
<br />
One who understands legacy.<br />
<br />
Yes, I'm quite keen on this idea of a champion, because I've seen and lived with one once (Thank you, dad). I know they exist.<br />
<br />
My champion is out there. I'm quite sure of it.<br />
<br />
But until then, I'm convinced more than ever I don't want a man...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking: </i></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"We aim above the mark to hit the mark."</div>
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- Ralph Waldo Emerson</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-74962206660753720092015-04-07T06:30:00.000-07:002015-04-07T06:30:00.425-07:00Six Five (6' 5")<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
So I may never get married.<br />
<br />
And that's okay.<br />
<br />
I'll be okay.<br />
<br />
You'll be okay for me.<br />
<br />
And no, this is not my slick attempt to trick the universe into landing marriage directly in my lap.<br />
<br />
I'm just sayin'. I may never get married. And although I may shed a few more tears, I'll continue to live a life full of joy, of kindness, and believing that miracles of all shapes and sizes still happen.<br />
<br />
I'll be more than just "okay" - I will learn how to thrive.<br />
<br />
I think that's my new favorite word right now: <b>Thrive</b>.<br />
<br />
It just feels good to say.<br />
<br />
Say it with me....THrrrriiiiiiveeeee.<br />
<br />
It's like a long satisfying exhale that just happens to be a word.<br />
<br />
You get used to the rhythm of your life in a certain way and you just assume that's the way it's always going to be.<br />
<br />
But it's not.<br />
<br />
Change is the only constant.<br />
<br />
And now I have to learn to expect good things again.<br />
<br />
It's all apart of thriving, you know.<br />
<br />
I want to maintain my childlike awe and wonder. I never want to become a jaded pessimist. If I get hurt, I want to admit I'm hurt and not hide behind a litany of excuses or statistics of how bad everything must always be and end up.<br />
<br />
I give myself permission to <i>thrive</i> in this season.<br />
<br />
You might want to do the same for yourself.<br />
<br />
And so yesterday, "they" asked me what kind of guys I like.<br />
<br />
And for those that don't know, at this stage of the game, I honestly don't have a "type" other than the "<b>Good</b>" kind.<br />
<br />
Take of that what you will.<br />
<br />
But at the same time, I know EXACTLY what I want. I'm not talking physicality here. I'm talking substance.<br />
<br />
It's so funny how close people can be to you and not really know you at all. <br />
<br />
Thus the question was raised.<br />
<br />
And do you wanna know the first thing that came out of my mouth?<br />
<br />
<b> SIX. FIVE.</b><br />
<br />
<i> Oh, really Patrice?</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> Not into physicality much are you?</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> Hashtag: Fibber</i><br />
<i><br /></i> But granted, 6' 5" is not a hard and fast rule for me by any means. It's just the comfort height I made up in my mind in my late teen years whilst being obsessed with college basketball.<br />
<br />
I'm a girl with curves.<br />
<br />
I love my curves.<br />
<br />
And I want my curves to feel safe in the wrapping of a gentleman who is quite possibly 6' 5".<br />
<br />
But meanwhile, I've had crushes on guys <i>shorter than me</i>, "<i>chubby bunnies</i>" as we would call them, and real life <i>nerd alerts</i>.<br />
<br />
So it honestly depends on what season of life you catch me in.<br />
<br />
But the substance will always far outweigh the exterior.<br />
<br />
Whether in relationships or friendships.<br />
<br />
There's a certain texture of human, male human that is, that I know I will recognize when I see it. It's the fiber I like to call "Home".<br />
<br />
It's that, "I just met you, but I feel like I've known you my whole life" feeling.<br />
<br />
We were strangers, yet somehow not upon our first meeting.<br />
<br />
You and I have both experienced this on different levels in our lives, most noticeably in a select portion of our friendships.<br />
<br />
So I know that the idea of finding a sense of "Home" in a male counterpart is not some fiddle faddle relegated to clever fairytales.<br />
<br />
<b> But</b> yes---easy and hard enough indeed.<br />
<br />
So I may never get married.<br />
<br />
But I will still<b> thriiiiiiiiiive</b>.<br />
<br />
Or, I may very well in fact, get married....to someone who is 6' 5" and you bedda believe I'll be <i>Thriiiiiiiiving</i>.....<br />
<br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"He’s not perfect.<br />
You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect.<br />
But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice,<br />
and if he admits to being human and making mistakes,<br />
hold onto him and give him the most you can.<br />
<br />
He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment,<br />
but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.<br />
Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give.<br />
Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad,<br />
and miss him when he’s not there.<br />
<br />
Love hard when there is love to be had.<br />
Because perfect guys don’t exist,<br />
but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."<br />
<br />
— Bob Marley</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-23250722148048886002015-04-03T18:40:00.000-07:002015-04-03T18:40:04.343-07:00Watching Arranged Marriages<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>"Married at First Sight"</b> </div>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
The social experiment.<br />
<br />
Have you seen this reality show yet?<br />
<br />
I mean. I thought it was going to be the dumbest thing ever. Another bit of reality tv show foolishness.<br />
<br />
A marathon of the show is currently on.<br />
<br />
And here I am, in tears.<br />
<br />
I don't think I've cried more watching a reality show EVER. I'm serious.<br />
<br />
Here's the premise:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;">"The cart comes way before the horse in the reality series "Married at First Sight." Based on a hit Danish format, "Married ..." features six people who agree to participate in an extreme exp</span><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;">eriment: Each covenants legal marriage with a complete stranger. Four specialists -- a sexologist, a spiritualist, a psychologist and a sociologist -- use scientific matchmaking methods to determine each couple, who will not have met or had contact with each other until the wedding day. The series then documents the relationships, including honeymoons and other relatable events of married life. After several weeks, each couple must decide whether to remain together or go their individual ways."</span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><br /></span></span></i>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"> It's been so fascinating to see the different "experts" match these folks together. It's quite a detailed and somewhat scientific method. Plus, the journey for these individuals stepping out to marry a stranger, appears to be more heartfelt than I've seen on a variety a dating/"The Bachelor"type shows. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;">(And of course, me being a <i>reality dating show expert</i> (HA), since being on one myself.... and working professionally in LaLaLand- I feel as though I can tell when something feels genuine versus not.)</span></span></blockquote>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><br /></span></span></i>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"> So with that said, I'm fascinated with the themes of this show and especially its weighty position it holds regarding marriage. Marriage is not seen as something flippant on the show, not for the strangers nor the experts, which is incredibly refreshing.</span></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="_dgc" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: inline; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><br /></span></span></i>
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"> So yeah, arranged marriages....all I can say is....my wheels are turning...My. Wheels. Are turning..................................................</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><i><b>Wisdom's Knocking:</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.1200008392334px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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“It's never the differences between people that surprise us.<br />
It's the things that, against all odds, we have in common.”<br />
<br />
― Jodi Picoult, <i>House Rules</i><br />
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-66831814025616364522015-03-23T18:16:00.000-07:002015-03-23T18:16:23.316-07:00The Persona. The Person.<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<br />
"Or you can take this one..." he gently said.<br />
<br />
"No. That's okay. How about this smaller neon orange one. I always love being an odd ball and making a statement." I say with a cheeky smile.<br />
<br />
He looks a little befuddled.<br />
<br />
"Okay. Whatever you want. It's no problem. Whatever you want. But this one is brand new."<br />
<br />
I look at him suspiciously.<br />
<br />
I walk around the lot for a bit.<br />
<br />
Decisions, decisions, decisions.<br />
<br />
And here I was, I didn't even recognize he was trying to give me an upgrade.<br />
<br />
And there you have it. This is how the pieces have felt like in this season. Not being able to outrightly recognize most of the good and the just things happening around me.<br />
<br />
Circumstances have been weird.<br />
<br />
I met someone.<br />
<br />
<br />
Okay. <b><i>I</i></b> didn't "meet" someone.<br />
<br />
But my friend did. I just happened to be there for the important part.<br />
<br />
They briefly knew of each other, connected online and decided to finally make a date of it.<br />
<br />
But let's talk about the space between the <i>persona</i> and the <i>person</i>.<br />
<br />
We're all guilty of it.<br />
<br />
In fact, I'm in love with someone's online persona as we speak.<br />
<br />
But I'm more aware now then ever, that a <u>persona is not a person</u>.<br />
<br />
The way in which we fill in the blanks about a human being are quite fascinating. Especially in this day and age of social media.<br />
<br />
We present our best selves.<br />
<br />
Those moments in which we feel exhilarated, loved, or passionate are then displayed on our numerous pages, news feeds, and profiles, leaving the poor reader to naturally piece together a beautiful symphony of sorts, when in fact our <i>true lives</i> sound more like Morse code. A different melody altogether.<br />
<br />
I'm also convinced more than ever, that face to face human contact and connection can never be replaced or substituted by our profiles, texts, emails, virtual chats, and other technological advances (ironically) meant to connect us and to provide a way of "knowing".<br />
<br />
These tools have now become swords of sorts and seem to inhibit the very thing they were meant to foster.<br />
<br />
So my friend adored and celebrated his persona.<br />
<br />
But the person she met left no space for such a persona. He in fact was lovely. But just not "<b>that kind</b> of lovely"--you know, not "persona lovely."<br />
<br />
And as such, a conflict then played out.<br />
<br />
What you think you're getting. You're not.<br />
<br />
The outer didn't match the inner.<br />
<br />
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+++</div>
<br />
I do this weird thing.<br />
<br />
When I look at fashion magazines, I always try to imagine what the voice of that particular model (male or female) would sound like. And you know what. I'm wrong EVERY TIME.<br />
<br />
Their voice never ends up sounding the way I think it "should" sound. Or how I thing it "would" sound. I like to call this the "David Beckham Phenomena".<br />
<br />
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<br />
When I first saw David years and years ago on a soccer print ad. I immediately thought I knew what his voice would sound like...Like most of you thought...<br />
<br />
And then, when you hear him talk, it's almost a bit jarring.<br />
<br />
You're like..."Um, I'm sorry, what................? But you still FINE though."<br />
<br />
But now, funny enough, I've come to love David's ironic voice of sorts.<br />
<br />
And I think that's how it goes.<br />
<br />
The unfolding of our true selves will either connect us to those people that we are meant to be connected with or repel them.<br />
<br />
Not everyone will "get us", "love us", or even "like us" and that's okay.<br />
<br />
But if we never unravel the persona of ourselves first, we will be presenting people with a false promise of which they will expect you to tap dance out every time you're in their company.<br />
<br />
And you'll be living out a dead-end masquerade ball of sorts--a nonstop cycle of feeling exhausted, confused, and resentful--with an added dash of a fear of committing to people, places, and callings.<br />
<br />
So let the persona go.<br />
<br />
Get undressed and let the real you, <i>the real person</i> be seen and known--in all its ugly, its terrific, its beautiful...and in all its splendor.<br />
<br />
<br />
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+++</div>
<br />
I'm more suspicious these days.<br />
<br />
What you see is not always what you get.<br />
<br />
But I took a risk out there on that car rental lot. And the luxury car he suggested I go for, I ended up saying yes to.<br />
<br />
It all felt a little strange.<br />
<br />
I never go for first class. Second best has always been good enough for me. I wouldn't normally say that out loud, so I've written it down instead.<br />
<br />
"Am I being charged extra for this nicer car?" I say with my eyes almost closed to anticipate the damage.<br />
<br />
"No. No. Of course not. I wanted to give it to you with no extra charge....<br />
<br />
...Because I liked your name..."<br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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"At your absolute best, you still won't be good enough for the wrong person.</div>
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At your worst, you'll still be worth it to the right person."</div>
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- Kimberly Jones-Pothier</div>
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-53004408384399532015-03-03T02:24:00.001-08:002015-03-03T02:36:01.247-08:00Our Wild Ways<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Last week, I headed back to my hometown for a reunion of sorts.<br />
<br />
A reunion with my former self, before I fully became something new.<br />
<br />
So we played. Took pictures. And talked about being tourists in my hometown.<br />
<br />
To be a pioneer, one mustn't be tame.<br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
In fact, one must be a tad bit wild.<br />
<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Photography by: Elias Galarza // Patrice Patrick</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-68049545083672808882015-02-25T22:30:00.000-08:002015-02-25T23:33:42.904-08:00Open Season<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
I once wrote an <b><a href="http://puerilityvol1.blogspot.com/2012/10/to-man-i-love.html#.VO6iobDF9Q0" target="_blank">open love letter</a></b> to my future husband.<br />
<br />
I know. <b>Not a surprise.</b><br />
<br />
But don't throw too much shade, you know you're just as much of a romantic as I am.<br />
<br />
With that said, next month, I'm going to travel across the country to support one of my besties in the beginning of what I believe will be her very own unique and extraordinary love story unfolding.<br />
<br />
The atmosphere is pregnant with promises about to be fulfilled.<br />
<br />
And honestly, I'm getting so much of my life, vicariously living through her--and the way in which this man-person is intentionally pursuing her.<br />
<br />
The wait has been so long.<br />
<br />
But now the fruit is actually ripe.<br />
<br />
This is an open season of discovery.<br />
<br />
For not only her, but for you and I as well.<br />
<br />
Somehow, I feel as though I'm starting afresh.<br />
<br />
I feel as though new hope has arrived in my heart. Finally. And once again.<br />
<br />
And not merely in part because of time passing, but the reality and richness of love in my life as it stands now.<br />
<br />
An odd thing has been happening these last few weeks.<br />
<br />
Three separate people have dreamed about me---<br />
<br />
Okay. Let's stop there.<br />
<br />
Wait. What?<br />
<br />
But true story. These 3 people (1 of whom the other 2 do not even know...) on separate occasions told me of the unique dreams that they had of me over the course of the last few weeks.<br />
<br />
I was a bit blown away. And feeling incredibly loved.<br />
<br />
Most of you know, I'm a big time dreamer. #punintened<br />
<br />
Yes, in the big scheme of things type of way, but also in the night-time type of way.<br />
<br />
You know, that weird and wacky "dreaming-of-things-before-they-happen" sort of way. This has been happening to me since I was about 5 years old. But we can talk more about that later...<br />
<br />
So these 3 dreams that 3 separate people had of me, were basically complimentary repetitions of one another. With themes such as love, marriage, ministry, career, and more love...<br />
<br />
But what was more incredible to me, is that their dreams weren't off base or somehow a surprise to me. But in fact, their individual dreams brought specific confirmation to what I had already known and felt God was whispering to my own soul at the beginning of this year.<br />
<br />
And so goes my life....the reality and richness of love in my life as it stands now, shakes me out of the ever-so attractive apathy of our day and our culture and our often sterile religious ways of doing things.<br />
<br />
I'm forced to pay attention.<br />
<br />
Almost always.<br />
<br />
Thus the tedious work of writing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Video Link: </b>Josef Salvat, "Open Season": </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOkdkSIgu3Q">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOkdkSIgu3Q</a></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WOkdkSIgu3Q" width="560"></iframe>
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<br />
<br />
And while walking with my beautiful friend alongside the spectacular and terrifying road of romance, I'm being reminded that God can cause a <b>"suddenly"</b> to happen in our lives at any moment.<br />
<br />
A <i>suddenly</i> that ushers in the very substance of what our hearts have been wanting and waiting for, but a heart that needed time to understand and appreciate the intricacies of such a divine miracle.<br />
<br />
Eyes are being opened.<br />
<br />
Hearts are getting free.<br />
<br />
The month of March is going to be amazing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It's Open Season, <i>and anything can happen...</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"We used to have it all planned.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We thought we knew what it all looked like.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We were looking out on the greatest view.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We were raised to take a stand.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We were raised to keep an open mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We believed we'd just sail on through.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now I'm a hundred miles an hour,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sitting in my palace without any power,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alone in the dark,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We're alone in the dark</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Thought we could always try a bit harder,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But if the dice don't wanna roll in your favor</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It falls apart, the fantasy falls apart</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is open season,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Time is up, time to be leaving,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Head on down this very arbitrary road</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Armor up, and say your prayers,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From under dogs and millionaires,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I heard you're better off on your own,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I ain't gonna face this hunt alone</div>
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So I'll be needing you</div>
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And I know you'll be needing me too</div>
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We're in this game together</div>
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We're in this game together</div>
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And I believe in you</div>
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And I know you believe in me too,</div>
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We're in this game together</div>
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We're in this game together"</div>
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-- <b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOkdkSIgu3Q" target="_blank">Josef Salvat, "Open Season"</a></b></div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-63593637635901804542015-02-17T21:20:00.001-08:002015-02-17T21:20:30.212-08:00We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
I'm learning quite a bit about intimacy in this stage and season of my life.<br />
<br />
There is such beauty to be had in a kiss, in an embrace, in a cuddle--and yet, I haven't partaken in these acts in over a decade.<br />
<br />
But more so than the physicality of things and moments, my heart and my body are yearning to be known, and to share those victories and defeats with a witness and a companion.<br />
<br />
The reality of these last two months have shown me that I am not only a survivor, but I can learn to thrive in the midst of tension and impossibilities.<br />
<br />
The verdict is in. In all actuality I was indeed stood up last month. I learned that our mystery guy had been in town once again, but failed to reach out to me. And this time it didn't appear to be an accident.<br />
<br />
Thus, I've not heard a word from the man that offered with such calm kindness and expectancy, to take me out--to meet my heart half way and to explore my journey alongside his.<br />
<br />
Instead, he's chosen to be purposefully silent.<br />
<br />
And once again I had space to weep.<br />
<br />
But he made space.<br />
<br />
Oddly enough, the week he and I were suppose to meet, I had a mentor of mine pray with me. She knew nothing of my tentative date plans, but all of a sudden, she started praying for my love life, my future boo, my husband-to-be. And she went to town.<br />
<br />
But her prayer started to take on a different direction. She prayed against anything that would hinder God's true love story in my life.<br />
<br />
At the time, I thought she may have been specifically praying about me and Mystery Man--about the hindrances that we were encountering trying to lock down our date plans, but it turns out, she may have been praying protection against Mystery Man and I getting together in the first place.<br />
<br />
<b> Perhaps space needed to be made.</b><br />
<br />
I was ready to bare my soul. To be intimate in the ways that don't involve the shedding of clothes, but rather the connecting of souls, of minds, of hearts---and of callings.<br />
<br />
But then I was halted.<br />
<br />
I was forced to make space.<br />
<br />
And positioned to reevaluate.<br />
<br />
Who am I? And what do I really want?<br />
<br />
I know, <i>I know</i>.<br />
<br />
These questions are the deep ones. The ones we don't always like revisiting. Because, you see, we have to sit with the Truth.<br />
<br />
And often Truth tells us those things we are afraid of--or those things we've been trying not to hear for years and years.<br />
<br />
<b> But space had been given to me, and I had to face the Truth.</b><br />
<br />
I came across someone online months ago that invigorated and gave life to the Truth in me. It wasn't his mere physicality that drew me in, but it was his heart. To hear someone talk about Truth, love, legacy, and the fight, in the same language that I have all these years, scared the crap out of me.<br />
<br />
He was a blatant reminder of what my heart knows it was made for.<br />
<br />
Now before you get giggly or try to do a search on my Instagram or my blog for this person. Let me help you out.<br />
<br />
He was and is the <i>reminder</i>.<br />
<br />
Beyond that....merely an acquaintance. Not yet even a friend. And that's okay.<br />
<br />
<b> Because he is free.</b><br />
<br />
He is free from trying to be captured by my manipulative tendencies, my needing-to-be-stroked ego. My dormant yet eruptive insecurities.<br />
<br />
He is free to walk into his own love story. He is free to choose.<br />
<br />
<b> And how lovely it is to choose.</b><br />
<br />
How powerful it is to choose. Even when you don't know the full outcome.<br />
<br />
And yes, I am a champion for his love story.<br />
<br />
Even and <i><b>especially</b> if it by no way involves me.</i><br />
<br />
But if for some strange reason, he is actually reading this, and I have a feeling he is.<br />
<br />
<i> <b> This is for you:</b></i><br />
<br />
I see your heart and <b>it is beautiful.</b><br />
<br />
I see your hidden pain and the past struggle. <b>And it is beautiful</b>.<br />
<br />
The hope that your heart carried when you were a young boy regarding love, marriage, and family has not been in vain.<br />
<br />
And regardless of how your journey has gone or not gone, <b>it has been beautiful</b>.<br />
<br />
You deserve both hands holding your face ever so gently. A safe haven for your tears.<br />
<br />
Because you have cried and you've wanted to cry some more. <b>And that too has been beautiful.</b><br />
<br />
It is in your vulnerability that your strength truly lies.<br />
<br />
It is not your strength that I'm after, but your subtleties that I admire and want to honor.<br />
<br />
Thank you for being <i>the reminder</i>. And <i>the exception</i>.<br />
<br />
Because in this journey and in this fight, we all must be reminded what we are truly fighting for.<br />
<br />
It has been your brave heart, your integrity, and your pursuit of God's heart through it all, that has stood as Truth to me and my heart.<br />
<br />
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Video: Ella Eyre - "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off"</div>
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Link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iwmdq_clSQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iwmdq_clSQ</a><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8iwmdq_clSQ" width="560"></iframe>
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<br />
And as I walk once again into the direction of the unknown towards my own <i>Field of Dreams</i>, I am learning the ways of intimacy, especially as it pertains to how my heart was made and what God has truly made it for.<br />
<br />
Take time to listen to your heart today--and the risks it wants to take <i>and the dreams it dreams up</i>.<br />
<br />
Let's be brave. More brave than we've ever been. Especially in the realm of love and life callings.<br />
<br />
You have not been completely defeated. <b>No--not yet.</b><br />
<br />
Some of you are just starting a brand new relationship. Others are still waiting in the wings.<br />
<br />
But regardless of your current status, you were made to know <i>and be known</i>. <b>Just as you are.</b><br />
<br />
You were made for real and true intimacy, and that's not taboo and that's not a crime.<br />
<br />
In fact, true intimacy is meant to be the place where our life and love flourishes <b>in and through us</b>--Spurring us on--fueling energy into every part of our ever expanding lives.<br />
<br />
Even more so, this type of intimacy is not for a far off time in your life, like during a mid-life crisis or your deathbed. But alas, you can experience this intimacy even now, <i>right where you stand</i>.<br />
<br />
Because you see, we don't always "have to take our clothes off to have a good time" or wait to experience a moment of sheer truth, childlike joy and freedom--<br />
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Often--we just have to be willing to let our own walls down...<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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“I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me.<br />
Make yourselves at home in my love.<br />
If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love.<br />
That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love."</div>
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- Jesus<br />
(John 15:9-10 - The Message)<br />
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-21549801233111652222015-01-27T23:54:00.000-08:002015-01-28T14:07:23.523-08:00Hurry Up and Wait<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
I wanted to title this blog post: "I Feel Stupid."<br />
<br />
But I felt like that was too much in your face, you know?<br />
<br />
Instead, I want to ease you into the ache, and not give it to you right up front.<br />
<br />
There's this scene in one of my all time favorite movies, "Field of Dreams" - where a little girl has a bit of a dangerous fall.<br />
<br />
It needs to be noted, that this little girl was the beacon of faith in the movie. She saw what most couldn't. And she simply and <i>calmly</i> "believed" certain good things were going to come to pass -- <i>amidst</i> all the other panicked voices that spoke the contrary. <br />
<br />
So she has this brief fall of sorts, and after she is picked up and asked, "How you feeling, honey?" The little girl perfectly says: <b>"Stupid."</b><br />
<br />
Every time I watch the movie and hear that line, I laugh and cry.<br />
<br />
Because isn't that they way we feel after we trip and fall, especially if people happened to be nearby to witness the whole crime scene.<br />
<br />
You could be walking on what seems to be a pretty straightforward yellow brick road, and then all of sudden you lose your footing and everything that you were carrying gets flung into the air. And then the slow-motion begins as you make a painful descent to the hard earth below, so perfectly positioned to fall ever so hard on your rear end, with your heels betraying your legs and ending up somehow in mid-air.<br />
<br />
So last blog post, I shared about how I was stood up. How I almost had a date, then didn't...<br />
<br />
Painful, indeed.<br />
<br />
The outpouring of love via private Facebook messages, text messages, and emails surprised me and overwhelmed me in the best way. The wisdom that many of you carry is astounding. So thank you for taking the time to love me and to share with me your heartache, your victories, and your overcoming spirit.<br />
<br />
Now guess what.<br />
<br />
<b> Apparently I wasn't stood up. </b>But he had a mild accident of sorts and I wasn't able to find out until afterwards.<br />
<br />
Naturally this would happen to me...<br />
<br />
And yes, he's okay.<br />
<br />
So, of course--After I pour out my heart to you and the internets; the next day, is when I hear a perfectly sane story of good intentions gone awry.<br />
<br />
We are meant to reschedule, but I haven't heard back from him in over a week...<br />
<br />
And now I'm wondering if I should bust out my Kenny Rogers album. #<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj4nJ1YEAp4" target="_blank">KnowWhentoFoldEm</a><br />
<br />
With that said, I'm reading and re-reading your words of encouragement; especially as it seems I'm in another one of our favorite waiting seasons...<br />
<br />
I mean, why can't we be in fulfillment already?<br />
<br />
I had a dream last night that I was held, hugged, and adored by a man. When I awoke this morning, I started weeping, because I honestly thought my dream was real life. Has that ever happened to you? Where everything feels so real, that you don't realize it's a dream until you physically wake up?<br />
<br />
So yeah, that's how my day started. And for those that are curious, the man in my dream was not the man I was suppose to go on a date with a couple weeks ago--this guy was an old friend of mine. But rather than thinking of my old friend, I'm also looking at what his presence might represent to me outside of the dream.<br />
<br />
<i> Oh, I know what it was.</i> This guy friend made me feel safe. I always felt safe around him. And we hugged only once, which I know sounds strange to say, but those are the facts. I just remember being in that embrace with him thinking, "Wow. I feel so safe here."<br />
<br />
But that was a couple of years ago.<br />
<br />
And what I had last night was a dream.<br />
<br />
And I've been tripping and falling all over my yellow brick road, landing on my butt these last couple of weeks.<br />
<br />
And I feel bruised and tired.<br />
<br />
And I also feel a little bit stupid.<br />
<br />
I texted our guy last night, only to hear the lovely <i>sounds of crickets</i> up until tonight.<br />
<br />
There's probably some sane and easy explanation.<br />
<br />
Or the answer is staring me in my face...<br />
<br />
But we are dealing with a girl who is partly tired, partly sexually frustrated (For a detailed explanation, <a href="http://puerilityvol1.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-last-2-virgins-on-earth-part-deux.html" target="_blank">click here</a>) and a girl who is partly scared to believe in someone again with her whole heart after a decade of disappointment, let downs, almosts, and loads of "hurry up he's around the corner"-- Oh wait. <b>No he ain't...</b><br />
<br />
But all this hurry up and wait is getting a little bit too much for me.<br />
<br />
My heart hurts. And my arms are empty.<br />
<br />
But nevertheless, it's <i>in the waiting</i> that we get our strength--<br />
<br />
I know that particular truth seems so cruel and almost stupid. And I honestly can't breakdown in bite size detail, how this exchange of waiting actually brings forth life in us, I just know that it does.<br />
<br />
Waiting sifts us and prepares us.<br />
<br />
I mean, there are stages to being pregnant, and each waiting stage is purposeful. Albeit, that last trimester, I know many women are like, "Yo, I'M DONE BEING PREGNANT."<br />
<br />
And that's kind of how I feel.<br />
<br />
But we're not left on our own in such processes. I'm so grateful for the Holy Spirit in all of this. The One sent to bring us comfort in times such as these.<br />
<br />
You and I are being forced to learn on the ground level, what it really means to be infused with strength <i>through the waiting.</i><br />
<br />
I've come too far to throw it all away now. And so have you.<br />
<br />
I may feel stupid. I may feel pain. But I'm going to do my best, with my mustard seed of faith to let waiting have its perfect way in me.<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
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"Have you not known?
Have you not heard?<br />
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,<br />
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.<br />
He gives power to the weak,<br />
And to those who have no might He increases strength.<br />
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,<br />
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;<br />
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,<br />
They shall run and not be weary,<br />
They shall walk and not faint."</div>
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Isaiah 40:28-31</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-23062575291852965922015-01-14T23:55:00.001-08:002015-01-27T23:55:15.338-08:00These Things Require a Fight<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Don't we just love the Psalms.<br />
<br />
David, who is credited for writing a majority of the Psalms in the Old Testament, almost appears to be going through a mental breakdown of sorts when you go through the journey of this particular book in Scripture.<br />
<br />
One moment he's singing the praises of God and how loved he feels (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+34&version=MSG" target="_blank">Psalm 34</a>) and the next moment he's yelling in frustration about how He feels God has abandoned him (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+13&version=MSG" target="_blank">Psalm 13</a>).<br />
<br />
But my favorite takeaway from David and the Psalms is this: Learning to encourage, speak to, and build up your own soul (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+43%3A5&version=NASB" target="_blank">Psalm 43:5</a>)...<br />
<br />
So I get out of the car tonight, after having a serious talk with myself. And I'm feeling crunk (do people still use that word anymore??). Anyway, I'm feeling like I could swiftly knockout any shady character that dared to step in my super hero sphere. <br />
<br />
But let's rewind a bit.<br />
<br />
Let's just go back 30 minutes before I get out of the car.<br />
<br />
Tears.<br />
<br />
<b> I was stood up this week, ya'll.</b><br />
<br />
Yep. I almost had a date. And then I didn't...<br />
<br />
I was preparing my heart for magic, as one should do -- but as you know, this is a dangerous playing field of sorts.<br />
<br />
It requires <i>hopeful living</i>...<br />
<br />
And here I was, just a week or so fresh off of a blog post titled, "<a href="http://puerilityvol1.blogspot.com/2015/01/new-hope.html" target="_blank">New Hope</a>" that my hope get's challenged in the most incredible way.<br />
<br />
If you think I'm not susceptible to a challenge and a fight in the arena of Hope, all I have to say to that is. NOPE, you're dead wrong.<br />
<br />
Oh, and to top it off, another one of my past summer 2014 crushes is now engaged to be married. That news hit over the weekend, and my response at the time was, "Yep. Of course. #sideeyes"<br />
<br />
As you know, my sweet reader, I haven't been on a date in about 7 years or so. I'm not even quite sure if I even know how to do it.<br />
<br />
But alas, this week, I was ready to put myself out there, because of who he was and how my heart was already smitten. Yes, the battlefield is always somewhat inviting, albeit treacherous.<br />
<br />
And I had nerves and lovely butterflies all week.<br />
<br />
<b> Until tonight.</b><br />
<br />
A horrible punch to the gut.<br />
<br />
Which led to me to think this horrible, stupid train of thought that I would somehow make a bad girlfriend or wife, therefore I should just resign to my nun-like status. Since it's what I know and it's what I'm comfortable with, as painful as it is.<br />
<br />
It's so crazy, how we don't need other people to sabotage our dreams and promises--we often and readily do it ourselves!<br />
<br />
So you see Hope does not equal easy. Even for me.<br />
<br />
And while we're at it--Neither does Love.<br />
<br />
Having Hope and Love anchored in our lives doesn't mean we'll <i>coast through </i>trials and heartache, but rather, it means we now know what we are fighting for in the midst, and can become strengthened through the <i>resistance</i> of the trial and battlefield. Much like your physical muscles gain strength through the resistance of the weight you train with.<br />
<br />
So I was in the car.<br />
<br />
And I was waiting for someone to magically call me and just encourage me and my heart.<br />
<br />
No one called.<br />
<br />
I almost called my mom. But I knew I really wouldn't have a conversation with her, it would just be me crying over the phone. But I needed to cry.<br />
<br />
So I did.<br />
<br />
In my car.<br />
<br />
And then I talked to God.<br />
<br />
I asked Him what He thought of all this and my predicament.<br />
<br />
I didn't hear anything.<br />
<br />
But something shifted in my spirit.<br />
<br />
And I said out loud: "Patrice, you know you are made for love. Future babies, I don't know who your dad is gonna be, but I promise, you'll have a dad....Soon. Now let's get out of this car."<br />
<br />
And I did.<br />
<br />
And I felt like Rocky.<br />
<br />
I was staying in the ring. With my bruised ribs, my swollen eye, and my broken nose.<br />
<br />
I'm realizing more and more, that our "Field of Dreams" must first be <i>plowed</i> before being built and established...<br />
<br />
And to me,<b> love is always worth fighting for. </b><br />
<br />
I now believe so strongly, that love in all its extravagance, splendor, and power still exists<b> </b>for you and I, and that this love will begin to unfold in some very real, surprising, and glorious ways for us <i>this year</i>, especially in the realm of relationships.<br />
<br />
I may be bruised.<br />
<br />
But I am still showing up for 2015.<br />
<br />
Because I know, <i>these things require a fight</i>, and God has already spoken the truth--that<i> "<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013:8&version=NIV" target="_blank">Love Never Fails</a>."</i><br />
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<i><b>Wisdom's Knocking:</b></i></div>
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“Fight the good fight of faith..."</div>
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- <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+6%3A12&version=NIV" target="_blank">I Timothy 6:12a</a></div>
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<i><br /></i>Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-33132739703189758272015-01-01T21:27:00.000-08:002015-01-02T14:42:48.145-08:00New Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
The finishing of 2014 was HARD.<br />
<br />
I don't know how it was for some of you, but I "labored" my way through until December 31st.<br />
<br />
My emotions were all out of wack, I seemed to have a bit of brain fog, and I had no idea how I was going to make the finish line regarding promises yet to unfold.<br />
<br />
But somehow I knew...<br />
<br />
Somehow I knew, if we could make it to 2015, there would be a victory, a turnaround, a rest, and the beginning of a fulfillment of things we've waited for.<br />
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I can't fully explain how I knew this, but it's just one of those downloads I got during my many tear-filled prayer times with God in December.<br />
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As we take intentional and unknown steps into 2015, I wanted to encourage your heart.<br />
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Your choices matters. Your thoughts matters. And as you know, your thoughts form your actions, your actions habits, and your habits become your character.<br />
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I realized the pressing, the pushing, and the tension I had been feeling the latter half of 2014 had a lot to do with getting me out of my comfort zone and ready for the next big phase of my life, and not so much a marker of punishment for doing something wrong or off kilter.<br />
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Right living has its very real and true rewards.<br />
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Often times, one <b>feels like a sucka for waiting and choosing the "narrow" way</b>.<br />
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And many times, the narrow way can feel suffocating and almost, downright painful.<br />
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<i>But let me repeat, <b>right living</b> has its <b>very real and true rewards</b>. Just you wait and see.</i><br />
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And if you just read that last sentence feeling a little nervous and guilty-- DON'T.<br />
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There's no need for you to feel guilty Beloved, right now, this very moment has become your tender mercies, <b>your fresh start</b>. So let it be.<br />
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Just humble yourself. Make that declaration before God and then prepare to listen to what He wants to tell you next. And <b>seek out</b> people that are faithfully grounded. Those you trust, admire, and actually want to be around.<br />
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Okay. I'm not quite sure why I went down that little rabbit trail, but I'm sure that was for someone.<br />
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But back to my "labor".<br />
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<b> God has been birthing a new level of faith in me. </b><br />
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To believe beyond the dream of dreams for you and I. Even in the midst of waiting for other dreams to manifest.<br />
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There is rest coming to our hearts this year. It is a part of the promise that God is fulfilling in our hearts.<br />
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I still believe that God is good, that He is kind, and that He is faithful.<br />
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So much so, that I chose, as an act of my will to celebrate the coming of <b>2015</b> with a bang. Because I felt <b>this year in particular was going to be indicative of celebration</b>.<br />
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Normally, my idea of a New Year's Eve celebration would involve pajamas, brownies, tears, and Carson Daly in Times Square.<br />
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But this year, I celebrated in an intentional way with two specific friends. Friends of mine that have prayed and believed with me for their own promises as well as my own.<br />
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It was a declaration of sorts.<br />
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And now, here we are.<br />
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It is 2015.<br />
<b><br /></b><b> My heart is full of expectation and new hope.</b><br />
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What does it look like to "Hope against hope"?<br />
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It looks like 2015.<br />
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The facts would say, "Patrice, you're getting older and your chances of meeting a quality "king" of sorts is near impossible. Your original hope of meeting someone in your 20s is now over...and the ministry plans and career plans you have will simply have to continue solo..."<br />
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But the miracle of "Hope against hope" would say, "Patrice, you will meet your boo-king at just the right time. <b>He will know. And you will know. </b>And it will be as though no time was ever lost. And the two of you will continue God's love legacy in a powerful way, speaking redemption and hope over those still in the battle and in the wait.<br />
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Because God is so good, kind, and faithful, even <b>in the midst of impossibilities.</b>"<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace </div>
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and may be guaranteed to all Abraham’s offspring—not only to those who are of the law </div>
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but also to those who have the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. </div>
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As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.” </div>
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He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—</div>
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the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.</div>
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Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed </div>
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and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, </div>
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“So shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, </div>
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he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—</div>
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since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. </div>
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Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, </div>
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but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, </div>
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being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. </div>
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This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” </div>
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The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, </div>
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to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
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-Romans 4:16-25</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-86842121383456634222014-12-19T21:44:00.000-08:002014-12-20T00:05:42.557-08:00How to Get a Good Girl [Back]<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I did this for you. Or rather for us.<br />
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I'm becoming more and more aware of my target audience. And it feels so good and it feels so right to address you all as Queens.<br />
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But now I'm turning our attention to the Kings...<br />
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I'm a little confounded when men cry out that there's no good women out there, or that all the good women are taken. Rubbish.<br />
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They clearly haven't met you or I. [Subtle Giggle...#Facts]<br />
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<b> So Fellas,</b> here are some of the very tip-toppy ways to <b>get a good girl on your team</b>, in your life, like real <b>loyal</b>, like the status of a wife....<br />
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<i> (Or for some of you...how to try and win her back...)</i><br />
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<b><u>Let's Go:</u></b><br />
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<b>A. Would You "Woo-Woo-Woo..." </b>#JeffreyOsbourne<br />
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Get your "Woo" skills out.<br />
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Texting and Facebook stalkery is not going to cut it here.<br />
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Show her you want her attention. Be intentional and follow through.<br />
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If you don't have her number, ask for it.<br />
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If you have her number, call her (try not to email or text this whenever possible) and ask her for a date (Coffee date, lunch date, dinner date, 20 min. frozen yogurt date, drinks, etc., etc.) <b>at least 2-3</b> <b>days in advance.</b> Last minute shenanigans shows a lack of respect for her and her time.<br />
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We as women, love to know what we're in for, especially during the beginning stages of a relationship. And if your being wishy-washy about your <b>Woo-Game</b>, then you might just lose a potential Good Girl...<br />
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If you've dated her in the past, take her to one of her favorite spots.<br />
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And all in all, the art of wooing a woman has a lot to do with <b>listening to her and looking her in her eyes</b>. Let her express her day, her hopes, her dreams, her disappointments without interruption.<br />
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At the end of your time with her, it should be clear to her that you are saying, <i><b>"You should be mine...all mine."</b></i><br />
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<i><i><b>Video Link: </b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgg1Yczq4vI" target="_blank">Jeffrey Osbourne, "You Should Be Mine" </a></i></i></div>
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<b>B. Emotionally Invested</b><br />
<b><br /></b> Are you the guy that's been so wounded by women and people that you brood all day and play a guitar all night?<br />
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Is your heart even open for love?<br />
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When you as a man, choose to allow your heart to feel and not only feel, but get emotionally connected to a good girl--<b>your life will never be the same. </b>#Trust<br />
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She will fill the reservoirs of your heart with joy, encouragement, and hope for your future. She'll make sure you're on the road to reaching your dreams as well as her own.<br />
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<b> When you show an <i>active</i> interest in at least one or two things that your particular Good Girl likes to do</b>, or her work/career grind, she will be one of <b>your</b> biggest cheerleaders in life.<br />
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Furthermore, when you choose to not only invest in her personal endeavors, but to invest emotionally -- sharing your own stories, those stories that have shaped your life, whether trauma or triumph, you're letting your lady know that she's the one you're choosing to share your heart with and you want her to be a significant part of your life.<br />
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<i><b>Video Link: </b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YjSHbA6HQQ" target="_blank">Whitney Houston, "So Emotional"</a></i></div>
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<b>C. Compliment Her</b><br />
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So yeah. That's pretty straightforward....<br />
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<i><b>Video Link: </b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFsCpc0s5HQ" target="_blank">Sam Cooke, "Tenderness"</a></i></div>
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<b>D. Tell it to the World</b><br />
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Sure, you can make it "Facebook Official", but more importantly, your family and close friends should know when you are really startin' to "feel" a particular Good Girl.<br />
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And yes, there might be haters out there. And haters gon' hate.<br />
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But when your Good Girl sees that you aren't ashamed to tell the world about your love and adoration for her, I can guarantee she's gonna want to stick around for the long run. #TeamLoyal<br />
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<i>Video Link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCVRE6qXdwU" target="_blank">Teddy Pendergrass, "When Somebody Loves You Back"</a></i><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i><u>Bonus Material: </u></i></b> </blockquote>
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You've noticed she's sultry and cute on Instagram and looks intriguing--even on Facebook, but how do you know she's not crazy? Better yet, how do you know if she's a ride or die, legit "Good Girl?" </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #b45f06;"><b>How to Spot a Good Girl:</b></span> </blockquote>
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+An online presence just isn't' going to cut it. You'll need real life experience for this. </blockquote>
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+You think you've spotted a Good Girl online...<b>Well... as quick as you can, get from the virtual world to the real world. </b>Be brave. Shoot her a message via email, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. BUT <b>be a Gentle-man about yours</b>. And if you two have mutual friends, even better (actually PREFERRED). But start a <b>gentle dialogue</b> online for at least a few weeks. Ask her how her day was, what's she's looking forward to, etc. After a few weeks, if it's wise, <b>safe</b>, and advantageous (for BOTH involved), and she hasn't put the pause or halt on your communication, ask her for a low-key coffee date. The goal is to get from the virtual world to the real world as soon as possible, to find out <b>the Truth:</b> </blockquote>
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+ How does she talk about her friends, people in general -- if she's prone to gossip and see the worst in a given situation. All I have to say to you is: NOPE. </blockquote>
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+Look for the girl who is genuinely encouraging the heck out of the other ladies in the room. </blockquote>
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+Look in your circle of amazing friendships, often we discount our own circle of friends. But get over that awkwardness and take the leap!</blockquote>
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+At a coffee shop, notice how your potential crush talks to the barista or cashier.<br />
People are constantly showing you who they really are, we simply have to <b>pay attention</b>...#Selah</blockquote>
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<i><i><b>Video Link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXy93iEe2co" target="_blank">Aaron Neville, "Tell It Like It Is"</a></b></i></i></div>
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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He who finds a wife, finds what is good.<br />
And receives favor from the Lord.<br />
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- Proverbs 18:22<br />
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-29347773002102366422014-12-04T22:58:00.002-08:002014-12-04T22:58:43.730-08:00Miss Independence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been put into an interesting position of sorts.<br />
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Independently dependent.<br />
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Driving to me has always equaled autonomy and freedom.<br />
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But recently, I've had the inconvenient luxury of having my car breakdown twice in the last few weeks. Leaving me carless for days at a time.<br />
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But this loss of sorts has allowed for a beautiful sense of renewed independence. I'm no longer obligated to be here and there according to the whims of others or even my own whims. And at the same time, I'm humbled.<br />
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I strangely feel like a kid again.<br />
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As you know, God has been inviting me to <b>rest</b> in this season. To give rest and peace to my mind, my body, and my 2014 outcomes.<br />
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But how does one rest in the midst of wrestling with disappointment and pain?<br />
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To be more specific, what's it like being single during the holidays? Many of you already know, but for those that don't know <i>or remember</i> what it's like to be single this time of year, let me give you a quick debrief:<br />
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<b> Being single during the holidays is <i>conflicting</i> at best.</b><br />
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Yes, I've accomplished goals, I have great family and friends, I've been a champion of sorts in my own life and for others, I make adventure a weekly, if not daily habit, but yet, among the many wins and grateful heart, there's still what feels to be an in-your-face, gaping loss. There's a hole of sorts.<br />
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For someone like me, who is not only in love with the wedding, but marriage itself, and beyond that--a legacy. To be withheld the very thing you feel called to as human, is heartbreaking and aching to say the least.<br />
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And yet, we continue on.<br />
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We write, we design, we dance, we sing, we construct, we put in long hours, we pray.<br />
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Many of us brave and beautiful 21st century single people are ready and willing to love you with our whole heart when we see you. We are ready to find new things to explore, to step out alone in our respective roads of dreams and destiny, we are ready to encourage you in your own promised land, and we <b>wield hope as our weapon of choice.</b><br />
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Yet inasmuch as one tries to deny it with the activities of a purpose driven life, there's still pain in that place of our hearts that is hoping to hold the hand of the one we love, cherish, and honor solely. The one in which new traditions are intricately and profoundly made.<br />
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The road for us brave single folk, especially during the holidays, tends to get very suspect during the holidays.<br />
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With that said, you'll not be surprised to know that I literally broke down crying in a restaurant yesterday with one of my good friends.<br />
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Like snot-and-tears-crying in a respectable establishment. I cried in my friends arms unashamed for a good few minutes. (Clearly I've found a new level of freedom by forgoing my pride.) And then she began to speak life over me.<br />
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You see, this whole business of "<a href="http://puerilityvol1.blogspot.com/2014/11/let-him-live.html" target="_blank">Letting Him Live</a>" (the small man crush I acquired but am now letting go of...and giving it over to God) and remaining hopeful regarding my own love story does take its toll at the most <b>inconvenient of times</b>. #restaurantbreakdowns<br />
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Instead of feeling restful in this season, I've felt whip-lashed and wrung out. I couldn't hold it in anymore. And no one quite understands the pain I'm talking about unless you have been single for quite some time or recently had your heart broken.<br />
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Someone I respect stated that waiting on God to bring about our "One", is one of the hardest things that we will ever do. Because we are believing God to do something so profound and something we have never seen Him do in our lives <i>ever before</i> and hopefully doesn't need to do again (#butreallythough).<br />
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And so here I am, submitting to the wait.<br />
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Being independent by <b><i>choosing</i></b> to be dependent on God.<br />
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I know that God is not cruel, and hasn't placed a desire in our hearts for love and romance with plans to withhold it forever.<br />
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God's track record with me and my life, proves that <b>He is not just a promise maker, but God is also promise Keeper.</b><br />
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And tonight, I'm feeling freedom in the most vulnerable of ways.<br />
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I'm reminded that I don't control everything, even in an array of opportunities I may create, I on a daily basis must be willing <i>to let go, and let God.</i><br />
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Independence to me in this holiday season, simply means Trust.<br />
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The one thing that God asked me to do in this season (especially regarding love and romance) was simply to <b>believe</b>.<br />
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So as I believe for my love story, I'm also believing for yours.<br />
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<b> Love is <u>not</u> a finite resource. </b><br />
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Even if you're married, have found "the One", or are still waiting, the well of love has not been exhausted for you.<br />
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And I pray that this holiday season, you gain a new sense of independence.<br />
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The type of independence that reminds you of being a kid again--in the best sense.<br />
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That time in our lives when we weren't called to worry over every detail and its manifestation, but to simply live believing we are loved and will always be taken care of ---even the weightier matters of our hearts being taken care of--always.<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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"And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, “Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.”
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Luke 18:15-17 (NASB)</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-75011468186333026832014-11-26T23:51:00.000-08:002014-11-26T23:51:35.074-08:00"Let Him Live"<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Let me explain.<br />
<br />
I'm waiting.<br />
<br />
I'm waiting ever so patiently for a response from a kind soul.<br />
<br />
He said he would reply.<br />
<br />
And I believe that he will.<br />
<br />
But he hasn't yet.<br />
<br />
But in the meantime, my mind is playing tricks on me, and my heart is concocting crazy stories and scenarios.<br />
<br />
Something happens to us when we are forced to exercise patience. And let me just tell you, it's not always pretty.<br />
<br />
Why am I banking so much on a certain reply...<br />
<br />
Well therein lies my current expectation, of which I'm not quite ready to face.<br />
<br />
Unrequited love/like is the pits, and like you, I've had my fair share.<br />
<br />
It can feel a bit exhausting to believe, to hope, to trust in love <i>just one more time</i>.<br />
<br />
But that's the only way I know how to live.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I'm out here trying to follow my own advice, you know, not act <i>thirsty</i>, keep hope alive (even though I haven't dated anyone in over 10 years (<i>not</i> a misprint), and know that I'm a high value type of girl, through and through--I mean:<br />
<br />
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This surge of confidence has come from a variety of kindhearted people who took the time to read, "<a href="http://puerilityvol1.blogspot.com/2014/11/excerpts.html" target="_blank">Excerpts</a>" and expressed to me how much they believe in my own love story unfolding one day soon. Thank you. And Thank you.<br />
<br />
I am still humbled and in awe at how many of my guy friends and male co-workers are so protective of me. I love it. And Guys: When it happens <b>for real for me</b>, you'll be some of the first to know. I promise. And thank you for telling me I'm beautiful. These things don't fall on ungrateful ears. I hold them close.<br />
<br />
So what do I do, while I wait on <i><b>his</b> reply</i>...<br />
<br />
<b> </b>Well.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b> I'm just going to <i>let him live.</i></b><br />
<br />
He knows I'm here.<br />
<br />
I know he's there.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's nothing.<br />
<br />
Or maybe it's something.<br />
<br />
And maybe we both know, but are too afraid to say...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b><br />
<br />
“Don't try to rush things: for the cup to run over, it must first be filled.”<br />
<br />
― Antonio Machado<br />
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Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-48700097902215255902014-11-25T23:42:00.000-08:002014-11-26T14:13:46.099-08:00When You Know What's Coming<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
In light of the events happening in our nation today, I wanted to be sensitive to this moment in history.<br />
<br />
To be honest, I was unaware of the lingering and monumental tension that had been rising since August of this year regarding <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Michael_Brown" target="_blank">Michael Brown</a>. It was a story and a life that garnered a great deal of attention this past summer, but had become overshadowed by new media stories about politics, blizzards, and celebrity on-goings.<br />
<br />
Yes, I had been unaware, yet not fully ignorant. Something within me poised me in front of my living room TV last night around 9PM. Upon turning my television on, I turned to a local channel. And already there was a "Special Report".<br />
<br />
I knew what I was in for.<br />
<br />
Before anything was set in stone from the man giving his detailed written speech regarding this special case, I already began to gently weep.<br />
<br />
"This doesn't feel right..."<br />
<br />
And then in the haze of the speech, as if brushed over like a comma or an incidental pause, the fate of a nation's true unrest was now given reason to manifest.<br />
<br />
And now there are so many opinions, but mostly broken hearts and severed spirits.<br />
<br />
But as heavy and thick as this all is, to my own surprise, I am not surprised that this tension has erupted and manifested in our country. Most already knew it was coming.<br />
<br />
As a Black woman, I may seem less of a threat to certain authority figures, and it's true, I have not experienced the type of racism my father has or my brothers have being male and being Black.<br />
<br />
But instead of becoming embittered and jaded by the plethora of newsfeeds out there, I'm simply forced to ask myself, what is the 'Higher Way' in all of this? What is the more Excellent Way?<br />
<br />
These <i>ways</i> don't just start with the broad overview of life and appear only at protests, but instead come to hit us at the ground level. The small choices we make on a daily, which then in turn lead to the bigger picture.<br />
<br />
Many people are frustrated trying to understand (or not understand) the place of <i>injustice</i> in all of this.<br />
<br />
But just picture yourself going through your own daily injustices. How do we react?<br />
<br />
When someone cuts us off on the highway, when someone lies about your character, when someone cheats you out of money. Frustration ensues to the say the least.<br />
<br />
But now imagine the stakes are a bit higher, someone hurt your mother, your father, or your child.<br />
<br />
Injustice is such a fiery tool and instigator.<br />
<br />
But yet, we as Believers are called to a more excellent way, because a more excellent way was extended to us in love, while we were boldly against or indifferent to such a love from God pursuing us.<br />
<br />
This excellent way doesn't leave us a decorative doormats, but instead gives us wisdom for the season (how to move forward in love, compassion, and forgiveness while being intentional for <i>positive change</i>) and gives ultimate jurisdiction--the final word to God.<br />
<br />
It may seem crazy to you, but I've personally seen the justice of God rise up on my behalf throughout my life. Therefore, the ability to believe that God is about justice and dispenses it in due time is not hard for me to believe at all.<br />
<br />
The end of this story is not in the unrest, but in the healing that is meant to come to this nation.<br />
<br />
Moreover, it's interesting to me, a friend of mine is in the movie, "<a href="http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/paramount/selma/" target="_blank">Selma</a>", which is set to open this year on Christmas Day.<br />
<br />
The process of this film has been <i>years</i> in the making, and we all didn't quite understand the many delays it encountered year after year.<br />
<br />
None of us really knew what the cultural climate would be when this film would finally premiere.<br />
<br />
And alas, here we are, needing a voice of hope, a voice of promise, a voice a triumph from heaven to once again speak identity over this unique nation with such a tumultuous and rich legacy.<br />
<br />
With that said, I've watched this "<a href="http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/paramount/selma/" target="_blank">Selma</a>" trailer several times:<br />
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Link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6t7vVTxaic">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6t7vVTxaic</a><br />
<br />
<br />
And it has become clear to me, this movie was never <i>just about</i> <i>being a biopic about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,</i> but it is also meant to remind us all, of who we could be, and who we are meant to be even in the midst of heartbreak, injustice, and hope deferred. <br />
<br />
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<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b><br />
<br />
"Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good."<br />
<br />
- Romans 12:21</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-52359776131601685742014-11-24T16:44:00.000-08:002014-11-24T16:44:27.803-08:00Guest Post: "Chase This Light With Me" <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YeqeX0wFz94/VHPLm6yUvdI/AAAAAAAADC8/R9ijPXvnt3E/s1600/chase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YeqeX0wFz94/VHPLm6yUvdI/AAAAAAAADC8/R9ijPXvnt3E/s1600/chase.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a><i> </i><i>Navigating the terrain of singlehood in this day and age is full of twists and sharp turns. And trusting in the goodness of God and the multitude of promises spoken over our lives in the midst of such changes is difficult to say the least. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> One thing I've realized about myself, is that I'm better equipped and prepared to step into new seasons of life by taking the time to process old and current seasons-especially through the writings in this blog.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> We've hit a theme of sorts in my last blog post, "<a href="http://puerilityvol1.blogspot.com/2014/11/excerpts.html" target="_blank">Excerpts</a>". And I decided that we needed to revisit this revelation that <b>we are fearfully and wonderfully made.</b> And no matter where you are in life, <b>you are worthy of love.</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> My good friend and sister in spirit, <b>Bethany Mossburg</b>, is bold and fiery, intelligent and tender. She sent one of her journal entries to me a week ago to simply share her heart. After reading, I knew her writing wasn't just meant for me, but it was meant for you too. I ever so graciously asked if I could share it with you. And thankfully she obliged...</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><b><span style="color: #e69138;">So from Bethany's personal journal to your eyes and heart, "Chase This Light With Me":</span></b></i><br />
<br />
"Tonight, I went running with a friend. As I am currently in the throes of training for both a half and full marathon from veeeeeery little running, it's quite the task to attempt running (and this is only week two). After a very active day, I changed and walked down the street to my neighbor's home. He, a younger brother-like figure to me, was waiting, headphones in and ready to roll. We began moving at a jogger's pace, moving through cul-de-sacs and around bends, occasionally sprinting and then slowing to a walk. But I found myself struggling - my body tensing up and my lungs getting tight. And I knew why.<br />
<br />
Mentally, this run was going to be one of the hardest of my training, and it wasn't because it required much physically. Oh no. THIS was going to be a mental game. A deep mental game. Why?<br />
<br />
<b>Because the last time I went running with someone else - and more specifically, a man - was over a year ago with my ex, "Mr. Man."</b><br />
<br />
The issue in question had little to do with Mr. Man, really, but rather carried the gravity of our last run encounter. You see, Mr. Man IS a runner. It's what he does. He does it with friends, he does it alone. Mr. Man...is THAT guy, who every other day, like clockwork, hits the pavement in the wee hours of the morning.<br />
<br />
Frankly...I liked that guy. The dedication was a thing of beauty to me. The commitment and, dare I say, calling to one foot in front of the other...even now, I value it. But in that run together - our first as a couple - I found a very deep principle that echoed into our relationship in so many ways:<br />
<br />
<b> Mr. Man would find a way to get his distance in, even if it meant leaving me behind.</b><br />
<br />
As a less experienced runner (and at the time, someone coming off of a harsh chest cold), in my mind, he had every right to leave me. He wasn't hurtful, but he was silent about my skill (or lack thereof). He wasn't mean, but didn't encourage me either. And as a person who loves words - who allows them to give shape, reason, and meaning to her world - the silence was deafening.<br />
<br />
When he left me to "meet me on the other side of the lake", I thought nothing of it. But last night, it all became stingingly clear: I was waiting for Luke, my friend and brother, to leave me too, <i>because I simply wasn't going to be enough. </i><br />
<br />
My lungs grew weaker. <br />
<br />
My knees started to pull "steadiness" out of the vocabulary of my step.<br />
<br />
My heart started aching. <br />
<br />
And I stopped, breathlessly, to GET IT TOGETHER enough to not seem noticeable.<br />
<br />
Luke, feeling the change (as all good friends do), pulled his headphones out and waited for me to speak. "I'm just tired," I said, hoping to guise my internal monologue of defeat. (Logically, tapping out before someone walks out on you feels better...right? ...Right?)<br />
<br />
<b>"I know, but you can do this. Let's do it together, okay? Just...ten more minutes that you have to do!"</b><br />
<br />
Look. I'd seen the clock. I knew this man was trying to push me past myself by quite a chunk of time. And for whatever reason, I rolled with it, lungs collapsing and heart bleeding. <br />
<br />
"Okay. Yes. Okay," I said.<br />
<br />
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...</div>
<br />
Seven minutes of steady jogs and one or two walking breaks later, we were turning a corner when Luke said, "Let's book it all the way back to my house, and then I'll walk you home!"<br />
<br />
"Luke, that's a hill. Can't we start at the truck? Or the other house?"<br />
<br />
"Nope. Come on. No compromise. You can do this. We can do this."<br />
<br />
And there it was.<br />
<br />
The magic word.<br />
<b> </b><br />
<b> "We."</b><br />
<br />
I started running, and crying a little, and running a little more. I could feel the rain smacking my face, with every drop of resistance the weight of a semi truck against my psyche. But I could see him beside me. I could see his arms moving with mine, his steps paced with mine. And then came the final sprint home.<br />
<br />
"I can't!" I shouted loudly into the street.<br />
<br />
<b>"You CAN! We CAN!" He shouted back.</b><br />
<br />
And so, like giving birth to a new life, I screamed and pushed myself hard, thudding my tennis shoes onto the pavement and praying for the end to come soon.<br />
<br />
And suddenly. We were home.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<br />
As promised, Luke walked me to my house.<br />
<br />
I explained a little of what had happened for me, and he explained that it was his pleasure to be there for me like that - to help in the redefinition of that moment.<br />
<br />
I went into my home, and started the shower water. Surely, that was enough for one night.<br />
<br />
But the Lord is rarely interested in what we deem "enough to function" and far more interested in the <i>fullness of our hearts being restored and recovered.</i><br />
<br />
In the shower, I cried. And couldn't stop crying. The depth of the uprooted wound had left me feeling a need for gentleness and kindness to come like a salve over my heart and wash through the cracked spaces.<br />
<br />
The Lord started to speak. <i>"Bethany, my love, it's time to let go of the man who left you behind for his own gain, and it's time to let go of the man who left you behind just to prove himself to you," </i>which, that second one is a more recent love-gone-awry tale of insecurity marring a relationship to fractures and fragments. I sobbed.<br />
<br />
"What do I do, then. How do I do that?"<br />
<br />
"When you get out of the shower, take your oil, cream, and perfume. Put them on."<br />
<br />
Now, I have a bottle of oil, a perfumed body lotion, and an actual perfume that are all meant to be worn together. They each smell of different things, but are meant to marry into one. They're expensive. I wear them only on special occasions. And I am running out.<br />
<br />
"But I'll be showering in the morning for work..."<br />
<br />
<i>"I know that. But you're worth it, Bethany. Let Me reanoint you here. Let me cover you with salve and heal your heart. Let yourself be beautiful for no one but you and Me. YOU are the special occasion now."</i><br />
<br />
And so I did. I sat on my floor, obediently, and spent my costly perfume on myself. I watched the bottle empty down as I went, hearing His heart, and feeling my value. <br />
<br />
Last night reminded me of something: my value doesn't come from me. My worth is not determined by me, or a standard that I uphold for myself. My value doesn't come because Maya Angelou said it or because Ray Charles sang "You Are So Beautiful". My value comes from my heavenly Father. <br />
<br />
<b>I'm worth keeping step with - not being left behind.</b><br />
<br />
<b>I'm worth confident, self-assured love - not being abandoned to make a point & live in fear.</b><br />
<br />
<b> I'm worth the most expensive perfumes - because they aren't wasted on me.</b><br />
<br />
But not because I said so.
<i>Because He said so. </i><br />
<br />
Because it WAS so before the foundations of the earth. <br />
<br />
And because I trust Him, I believe Him."<br />
<br />
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-----</div>
<br />
<i><br /></i><i> So Beloved, what will you believe today? </i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> Often walking in the light involves a pursuit and an exchange of sorts. My interpretation of Bethany's post title, "Chase This Light With Me" took on a double entendre form for me:</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> The burdens of our own insecurities become heavy, but when we look up at God's heart for us--Christ's love extended towards us ("The Light"), He makes our load "<b>Light</b>". It's not simply a hope, but a promise.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> We, in and of ourselves suffer great limitation. And I personally can attest to those many moments in life where my own strength and intellect ended, yet where Love's strength arose in me and around me.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> And all of this, as a result of chasing and pursing the "Light", the truth of who we are in God. And embracing the enormity of who He is and what He has already done for us.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i> On top of that, believing and knowing, that as you chase the Light, <b>the Light has already been chasing you...</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i><i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]<br />
<br />
Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.<br />
<br />
For My yoke is wholesome (useful,good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.<br />
<br />
<br />
--Matthew 11:28-30 Amplified Bible (AMP)<br />
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</i>Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-48755816581543973272014-11-20T23:21:00.002-08:002014-11-21T19:15:50.387-08:00Excerpts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
I.<br />
<br />
I haven't written to you in a while. And I miss you.<br />
<br />
My heart is full and tired at the same time.<br />
<br />
These past few weeks have been something else.<br />
<br />
Experiencing the highs of the highs and the lows of the lows---and let's not forget about the painful in-betweens.<br />
<br />
I'm in a season of my life where I'm stepping out more, taking more risks when it comes to ministry, my career, and of course love.<br />
<br />
For those that don't know, I recently took a huge leap by appearing on a faith-based dating reality show. I can't share much more than that at present, but let's just say, I faced some personal fears of mine (being seen, being vulnerable, and truly accepting myself as high value and worthy) in a greater way and in exchange gained a new sense of courage in the process of it all.<br />
<br />
After my appearance on the show, I personally felt invincible in the realm of love.<br />
<br />
<b> I hope to always believe.</b><br />
<br />
I hope to always believe that there is more of love to be discovered, that we have not exhausted the well of love that has been shown to us.<br />
<br />
After this great high of feeling invincible and brave, I stepped out in the area of "almost" romance hoping my vulnerability and risk would pay off. He was kind and keen. And I was resting in child-like faith. We were both strangers to one another, but the potential all seemed there. And then it wasn't.<br />
<br />
<b> It's funny how something is almost a thing, and then just like that, its not.</b> It's feels like a violent earthquake of sorts, where things are shaken firmly and aggressively back into some other place and position. Like a child being yanked by the hand to walk in a new direction.<br />
<br />
And there I was again. In a place of familiar pain and disappointment.<br />
<br />
But the pain wasn't crippling this time, it just hurt.<br />
<br />
In the past, my identity was so wrapped up in a handsome man finding me attractive or choosing me. Yet time and time again, I was never chosen. And it all felt like a cruel joke to me.<br />
<br />
Until God's love began to unveil a lie that I had been believing about myself for years: <i>That I wasn't and never would be enough or worthy for someone <b>I considered out of my league.</b> Nor would such a person want to invest in my life and my love. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
But God was truly trying to tell me over and over again, that <b>I am enough</b>.<br />
<br />
Even when I'm rejected by people or by men that <i>I think I adore from afar</i>. I am still enough.<br />
<br />
I am still worthy.<br />
<br />
And with that said, I'm realizing more and more that I'm <b>worth</b> investing in. Just as <b><i>you</i></b> are worth investing in.<br />
<br />
Often, we as females, are so quick to give our hearts and our nurturing capabilities away to the first guy who says <i>hello</i>. But has he invested <i>in you</i>? Has he invested in the things that are important to your life at all. As much as you know about his friends, his likes, his favorite movies, his favorite websites--has he once invested his interest in yours?<br />
<br />
All that to say, I gave my heart away a little too soon in the Land of Potential--in the Land of Hoping when it came to this particular guy. And now I don't know how to feel about the situation, but what I do know, is that I was not invested in, which is a hint and indicator at best of the trajectory of such a friendship and relationship...<br />
<br />
II.<br />
<br />
And then we have the unexpected revelation that I received last week in the middle of my car ride back from work.<br />
<br />
<b> The "Accuser" doesn't fight fair. </b><br />
<br />
I know this sounds like basic Christianity 101 (Satan is referred to as the "Accuser of the brethren" in Revelation--That's a part of his M.O.) but let me break down one key point that hit my spirit with such force.<br />
<br />
I, like you, have been fighting the voice of the "Accuser", almost my entire life. Especially regarding this issue of not feeling worthy or being enough.<br />
<br />
My desire for approval from men and my habit of always permission (often out of fear and not always out of honor) becomes fuel for the voice of the Accuser to be amplified in my life.<br />
<br />
And it hit me in the car last week, that I've been trying to <b>fight accusations with accusations.</b><br />
<br />
Meaning, I was trying to <i>fight like the Accuser fights, using his own ammo: </i>Fighting anger with anger (which only empowered him more). But at the time of such heated internal debates (or visibly outward circumstantial disappointments) , it was always a mystery why I left such cage fights with him exhausted, scared, and defeated.<br />
<br />
But God reminded me of His heart--of His heart of love and <b><i>how He always wins.</i></b><br />
<br />
This may not hit your spirit in the same way it hit mine, but I was Amazed and a little Thunderstruck that the way to defeat the voice of the Accuser was not in the fighting back, <i><b>but in the being loved and knowing you are loved. </b></i><br />
<br />
That in essence IS the fighting. Being loved. And allowing yourself to be loved. You know why? Because you are <b>worthy</b>. Yes. We went back to that theme again. But I know you see the connection.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, when love empowers you to fight, there is less striving and much more ground taken in terms of victory for our own heart's sake.<br />
<br />
Subsequently, I was also reminded this past week, that <b>Gentleness</b> is actually a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).<br />
<br />
But really though. That gift right thurrr is a weapon. (Proverbs 15:1...)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
III.<br />
<br />
On Tuesday, one of my best friends moved to another country. And I then I spent 40 minutes crying my eyes out like a crazy person as I drove on the 101 Freeway.<br />
<br />
One chapter ends, yet the novel still continues.<br />
<br />
She and I have chased dreams together, seen dreams realized, seen utter defeat, the valley of the shadow of the death. And we have been in the fight together for over 10 years. I have shared some of the most transformative moments of my life with her: film school, producing documentaries together, traveling the globe, writing scripts together, weeping together, laughing together, praying together, living and being family.<br />
<br />
This move marks something profound for both of us.<br />
<br />
It is a good thing. Trust me.<br />
<br />
But there are still tears.<br />
<br />
<br />
IV.<br />
<br />
So as you can see, I've been fighting and paddling and fighting and paddling--making a bit of headway, albeit slow.<br />
<br />
But tonight, it became apparent-- <i>Just rest Patrice. </i><b>Rest.</b><br />
<br />
Not just in the movement of my own day to day life, but in the tender vulnerable moments before bed and when I wake up. And when I'm in a crowd of people and feel the enormity of my own humanity. <b>Rest.</b><br />
<br />
Love calls for us to be in that place.<br />
<br />
We are so incredibly loved already. Right where we sit and stand.<br />
<br />
We are but dust, but still a little higher than the angels.<br />
<br />
Everything is changing.<br />
<br />
And you'll be glad it is.<br />
<br />
<i>There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.</i><br />
<br />
For me these past few weeks, I've had butterflies in my stomach, and hot tears streaming down my face.<br />
<br />
But in the midst of it all, <b>I still believe</b>.<br />
<br />
I believe that God is good, God is faithful, and God is kind. And I know He calls us worthy to receive the everyday beauty of who He is.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
His love changes everything.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-73238997690757416592014-10-27T23:20:00.000-07:002014-10-27T23:20:02.121-07:00What I'm Into<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L2XU8ufLCuo/VE8rbTFrD6I/AAAAAAAADAg/0qBiKsn6vPM/s1600/unnamed-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L2XU8ufLCuo/VE8rbTFrD6I/AAAAAAAADAg/0qBiKsn6vPM/s1600/unnamed-2.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
Some things have stirred my heart as of late and I needed to share them with you:<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Music:</span></b><br />
<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hZ-gUH1u-3A/VE8cdQ-pGhI/AAAAAAAAC_0/Jt5a-Zvs0eg/s1600/you-me-pink.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hZ-gUH1u-3A/VE8cdQ-pGhI/AAAAAAAAC_0/Jt5a-Zvs0eg/s1600/you-me-pink.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<b> You+Me</b> (Dallas Green & Alecia Moore...A.K.A. "Pink")<br />
<br />
Wait. So this album isn't meant to be a worship album? Because this album has been ministering to my SOUL.<br />
<br />
And I would almost NEVER EVER suggest someone do a cover of the ever so perfect <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcPc18SG6uA" target="_blank"><b>Sade</b></a>. Just don't. Unless you are You+Me.<br />
<br />
Dallas & Alecia weeeeeent there. And I'm so glad they did. I Completely co-sign on this cover.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/XejdcHDxNlc" width="560"></iframe>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Video Link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XejdcHDxNlc">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XejdcHDxNlc</a></div>
<br />
<br />
Here are three more favorites I have from this album:<br />
<br />
<b>"You and Me"</b>:<br />
<object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" height="40" id="gsSong415571477" name="gsSong415571477" width="250"><param name="movie" value="http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="hostname=grooveshark.com&songID=41557147&style=grass&p=0" /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf" width="250" height="40"><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="hostname=grooveshark.com&songID=41557147&style=grass&p=0" /><span><a href="http://grooveshark.com/search/song?q=Pink%20%26%20Dallas%20Green%20YouandMe" title="YouandMe by Pink & Dallas Green on Grooveshark">YouandMe by Pink & Dallas Green on Grooveshark</a></span></object></object>
<br />
Song Link - <a href="http://grooveshark.com/s/YouandMe/709CYP?src=5" target="_blank">http://grooveshark.com/s/YouandMe/709CYP?src=5</a><br />
<br />
<b>"Break the Cycle"</b>:<br />
<object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" height="40" id="gsSong4168304288" name="gsSong4168304288" width="250"><param name="movie" value="http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="hostname=grooveshark.com&songID=41683042&style=metal&p=0" /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf" width="250" height="40"><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="hostname=grooveshark.com&songID=41683042&style=metal&p=0" /><span><a href="http://grooveshark.com/search/song?q=alecia%20moore%20%26%20dallas%20green%2008%20Break%20the%20Cycle" title="08 Break the Cycle by alecia moore & dallas green on Grooveshark">08 Break the Cycle by alecia moore & dallas green on Grooveshark</a></span></object></object>
<br />
Song Link - <a href="http://grooveshark.com/s/08+Break+The+Cycle/71SuQf?src=5">http://grooveshark.com/s/08+Break+The+Cycle/71SuQf?src=5</a><br />
<br />
"<b>Gently"</b>:<br />
<object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" height="40" id="gsSong416830370" name="gsSong416830370" width="250"><param name="movie" value="http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="hostname=grooveshark.com&songID=41683037&style=metal&p=0" /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://grooveshark.com/songWidget.swf" width="250" height="40"><param name="wmode" value="window" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="flashvars" value="hostname=grooveshark.com&songID=41683037&style=metal&p=0" /><span><a href="http://grooveshark.com/search/song?q=alecia%20moore%20%26%20dallas%20green%2003%20Gently" title="03 Gently by alecia moore & dallas green on Grooveshark">03 Gently by alecia moore & dallas green on Grooveshark</a></span></object></object><br />
Song Link - <a href="http://grooveshark.com/s/03+Gently/71SuA6?src=5">http://grooveshark.com/s/03+Gently/71SuA6?src=5</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Society Things:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.theskimm.com/?r=3ZMMY" target="_blank"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ddx4jw0zyrc/VE8UUemWgZI/AAAAAAAAC_c/THpesS3dH4I/s1600/theskimm.png" height="286" title="" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.theskimm.com/?r=3ZMMY" target="_blank"><b>TheSkimm</b></a>.<br />
<br />
Look, it's important to know what's going on in the world. Even if you abhor traditional news (I can relate.) But in order to invest in the lives of others, it's key to know the important matters connected to their hearts and their world (and our own). Plus, we can get so beautifully reminded (without overwhelming fear) that the world doesn't simply revolve around our own goals, our own streets, and our own friends.<br />
<br />
The way in which founders of <a href="http://www.theskimm.com/?r=3ZMMY">TheSkimm</a> (who happened to be 2 women) curate the news is unlike anything that I've read. I was also ecstatic about how humor was incorporated without diminishing the integrity and non-partisan view of the stories they told.<br />
<br />
And wouldn't you know it, weeks after I had posted how much I loved TheSkimm on my Facebook blog page, telling my readers they should check it out-- not just because it's new and fresh, but because it was trailblazing something new and needed, non other than Oprah Winfrey begins endorsing <a href="http://www.theskimm.com/?r=3ZMMY">TheSkimm</a>:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tv2ei9RcNyw/VE8VeLyDjqI/AAAAAAAAC_k/shiSV_Rlzoo/s1600/oprahskimm.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tv2ei9RcNyw/VE8VeLyDjqI/AAAAAAAAC_k/shiSV_Rlzoo/s1600/oprahskimm.png" height="197" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
So without further ado, if you want to check out what comes into my personal inbox 5 days a week (5 days, not 7 days...because they don't want to bombard us with news on the weekend...Thank You Very Much.) Then, you can click here to get a taste of what I'm talking about: <b><a href="http://www.theskimm.com/?r=3ZMMY" target="_blank">TheSkimm Link</a></b>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Legacy:</span></b><br />
<br />
Last, but definitely not least.<br />
<br />
Ladies, there are still Phenomenal men out there that you have NEVER met. <b>I promise</b>.<br />
<br />
And men, there are still Amazing women out there that <b>you never knew existed</b>.<br />
<br />
I was encouraged last week by stumbling across a blog post written by a friend of mine. He was one of the contributing authors of this website titled, "<a href="http://thegdfight.com/join-the-good-fight/" target="_blank"><b>The Good Fight</b></a>".<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://thegdfight.com/join-the-good-fight/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aNjCkVkAiCo/VE8p08kQRzI/AAAAAAAADAI/iSZc2t1JrMk/s1600/gdfight.png" height="161" width="320" /></a> </div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/thegdfight" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fttW8OKYf6Y/VE8qIzxyRUI/AAAAAAAADAQ/ah2p7FIkh64/s1600/goodf.png" height="236" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Check out the motto to this website:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Come with us on this journey. Make a difference to the people in your world. Be that strength that they need. Choose to turn weaknesses into strengths. Envision the type of husband and father you want to be. Envision the kind of legacy you want to leave. Honestly ask yourself what the best version of you looks like and make a decision that THAT is worth fighting for." </i> </blockquote>
<br />
Wait. Did this man person just say words like, "envision" and "legacy"?! And is he making a declaration to fight for that publicly? <b>Excuse me mister</b>, who are your friends?? And can I begin dispensing them out to all my single lady friends tomorrow?? Is it too soon??...<br />
<br />
Similarly, there's a website titled: <b><a href="http://goodguyswag.com/" target="_blank">Good Guy Swag</a> </b>--Yes. Good Guy Swag. Be still my beating heart.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mkMM4esxtBg/VE8q4cKCAUI/AAAAAAAADAY/PjX70NH75vg/s1600/ggs.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mkMM4esxtBg/VE8q4cKCAUI/AAAAAAAADAY/PjX70NH75vg/s1600/ggs.png" height="353" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Articles that one might find on this particular website geared towards guys are: "<b><a href="http://goodguyswag.com/21-lost-gentleman-traditions-that-still-apply-today/" target="_blank">21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today</a></b>", "<b><a href="http://goodguyswag.com/75-ways-to-become-a-better-man/" target="_blank">75 Ways to Become a Better Man</a></b>", and "<b><a href="http://goodguyswag.com/7-characteristics-of-intentional-dating/" target="_blank">7 Characteristics of Intentional Dating</a></b>"...<br />
<br />
UM. YES. PLEASE. AND AMEN.<br />
<br />
So today is not the day to be discouraged, Beloved.<br />
<br />
But rather, today is the day to connect and reconnect with the passions God has placed in your heart. And to simply believe that all you've seen and heard (especially the negative reports) regarding men and women, <b>is not all there is</b>.<br />
<br />
Match that faith with action. And truly become the best version of yourself in this season of life. The version of yourself that is full of God's heart and glory. One that exudes the attributes of Christ. Because as you run the race <b>as if to win</b>, you'll find someone who just happens to be running the same race come alongside you at an incredibly opportune and divinely orchestrated moment.<br />
<br />
You are worth the wait.<br />
<br />
You always have been.<br />
<br />
It was never just about today. <b>It was always about legacy...</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"They say everything it happens for a reason </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can be flawed enough, but perfect for a person </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Guiding your direction when you're riding through the dark, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh that's you and me"
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
- You+Me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36977287.post-25212476357705695282014-10-20T23:11:00.000-07:002014-10-22T13:44:49.938-07:00White Boys & D'Angelo<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6AGhY8fML7I/VEX4aNGoUCI/AAAAAAAAC88/0nLTI5C4lvs/s1600/unnamed-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6AGhY8fML7I/VEX4aNGoUCI/AAAAAAAAC88/0nLTI5C4lvs/s1600/unnamed-3.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
</div>
<br />
Sooooooo, this post is mostly written for <b><a href="http://tiffanyjenelle.squarespace.com/read-me/" target="_blank">Tiffany</a>, Cousin Brandi, <a href="http://blackgirlslikeus.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Toya, and Tia</a></b>. But I do hope you enjoy reading it as well. xo<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
+++</div>
<br />
So apparently, my most popular board on Pinterest is my "<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/puerilityvol1/the-land-of-milk-and-honey/" target="_blank">The Land of Milk and Honey</a>" board.<br />
<br />
I never really set out to start an interracial love story board per se. I just started "pinning" images that struck a chord with my heart. And before I knew it, most of these images of what I considered beautiful love and a reflection of the type of love story I wanted to have, happen to be images of Black women with White men.<br />
<br />
I remember being in high school, and having a crush on this White guy named....Let's call him "Billy". I was bold and brazen even back then. And I told Billy through a serious of random classroom notes (The era of pre-cell phone texting...) I happened to have a crush on him.<br />
<br />
And what did our precious Billy say to me. Or rather to a friend of mine. "I believe mixing races is wrong. So that's that." And that ladies and gentlemen, was the end of that crush.<br />
<br />
But unbeknownst to me a weird seed of self-hatred and insecurity nicely nuzzled itself into the deep crevices of my heart.<br />
<br />
I had an almost idealistic upbringing and an amazing schooling experience with almost every nation represented. My mom used to call my friendship circle: <i>The United Colors of Benetton</i>. But I had never encountered blatant racism in such a way until that fateful day with Billy.<br />
<br />
Now, today we see an array of beautiful interracial couples, but that was not the case when I was in high school. And the thought of a Black girl being with a White guy seemed rare and unattractive to many.<br />
<br />
It wasn't until I went to Paris in 2000 with one of my best friends, that my mind was blown. I was seeing interracial couples everywhere! It was like an interracial utopia made up of so many different races. But what was really <i>blowing</i> my mind was that I was seeing so many different types of beautiful Black women with a variety of White French men. I was convinced I wanted to move to Paris for that reason alone.<br />
<br />
Because you see, it spoke to something deep in my identity. And it brought healing in the most unexpected way. I felt validated somehow.<br />
<br />
I've always been attracted to a variety of men, but those that I'm most drawn to and seem to have the most in common with happen to be White.<br />
<br />
And so, when I started this board on <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/puerilityvol1/the-land-of-milk-and-honey/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a>, I treated it like a vision board and didn't take much thought to what I was pinning, I just wanted it to flow and be fun...until a Black lady friend of mine said, "I love your milk and honey board! It's for girls like us right? For those of us who love White boys."<br />
<br />
And without skipping a beat and honestly with complete contrast to every other intention I wanted to mention, I simply said, "Yep. Yes it is."<br />
<br />
At first, I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth. For some reason, I felt a little ashamed and a little confused. Like I somehow exposed a secret too soon. Because my mind hadn't caught up with my heart until that point.<br />
<br />
But then I realized what I had been doing all along, in a bit of subconscious way. Thus, I decided to own it fully via my Pinterest page. And I'm glad I did.<br />
<br />
So years after my high school experience with "Billy", there are tons of blogs, <a href="http://whiteguyblackgirllove.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Tumblr </a>pages, dating sites, websites, and Pinterest pages that strictly focus on relationships between Black women and White men. And how beautiful people think that they are. And I find it all quite fascinating, especially the fact that my own little Pinterest page is just one of hundreds.<br />
<br />
So just recently, within the last month, I started <i>Netflexxing</i> (It means what you think it means) the show, "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1832979/" target="_blank"><b>Hart of Dixie</b></a>". Long story short, it's MY NEW JAM. (And for those die hard "Hart of Dixie" fans, yes, I'm late to the party, I know.)<br />
<br />
<b>The premise</b>: "New Yorker and new doctor Zoe Hart accepts an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work in his medical practice in Bluebell, Alabama. She arrives to find he has died and left half the practice to her in his will." - <i>credit: imdb.com</i><br />
<br />
And I was just minding my business, you know, watching the show when character, Wade Kinsella has a new arc in his story line and I was like, um, Hi-hello. Who are you?? Why have I never <b><i>seen </i></b>you before, like really <b><i>seen</i></b> you?!<br />
<br />
The actor who plays Wade, is none other than: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1569067/?ref_=tt_cl_t4" target="_blank">Wilson Bethel</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Yes. Let's pause for a moment of silence.<br />
<br />
According to my <strike>stalkery</strike> research he was also on some other prominent shows, but I had no idea who he was until last month.<br />
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<u>Side note:</u> Nothing gets me more in life than a guy that listens to 90s R&B, dances like a thug, has good shoe game, uses the word <i><a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/unequivocally" target="_blank">unequivocally</a></i> correctly, and/or can quote something from the movie "Coming to America". And if this guy happens to be White...Uh-ohhh.<br />
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So during that night of "research" on Wilson Bethel, I came across this old tweet:<br />
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<i>This is D'Angelo covering Smokey Robinson last night. Which is another way of saying Heaven is Real. <a href="http://t.co/VGGa1uDj">pic.twitter.com/VGGa1uDj</a> </i><i>— Wilson Bethel (@WilsonBethel) <a href="https://twitter.com/WilsonBethel/status/245275156098985984">September 10, 2012</a></i></blockquote>
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Wait. I'm sorry what? Did you just say <b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAfuUZRou7g" target="_blank">D'Angelo</a></b>?</div>
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Nope. I Cannot.</div>
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Everything about that tweet was just next level. <b>Tiffany, Brandi, Toya </b>and<b> Tia</b> know exactly what I mean.<br />
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When I started this post, I was simply going to state the discovery of Wilson's amazing taste in music. But instead, like my writing often does, I ended up taking a major detour and giving you some backstory on my life.<br />
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But at the end of the day, if you take anything from this post, it's this: <b>Be brave in matters of love.</b> Let the past go. And be willing to start fresh, to take risks, and to <b>learn from your failures</b>.<br />
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And in the end, if someone rejects you, we all know it's their loss.<br />
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But again, I urge you, be brave in love, <b>just one more time.</b> Your love story and life journey may look differently than you thought it could or would. But be brave.<br />
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And of course, you can't always judge a book by its cover. People can still surprise you....<b>even in the very best of ways...</b><br />
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<b> <i>Wisdom's Knocking:</i></b></div>
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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”<br />
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- e.e. cummings</div>
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D'Angelo Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAfuUZRou7g</div>
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<br />Patricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01760372605019204185noreply@blogger.com4