Her Fleece

     Photo Credit: Patrice

     I don't know how it happened. But as if overnight, I have inherited this brand new love for lambs. Ahh! Just the thought of a baby lamb is bringing a tear to my eye.

     Randomly the other night,  I was watching a Scandanavian cooking show on PBS (I miss you, Denmark!), and next thing I knew, I saw Claus holding a baby lamb. Never mind the fact that he was talking about the best way to cook a lamb. But as Claus was holding that baby lamb, it was the most precious thing ever. I honestly think I started crying.

     So then, the very next day, I find myself doing one of my favorite things, just driving in the wilderness with no particular place to go. And of course, as I turn the corner of a deserted road, I find myself surrounded by sheep and baby lambs. Of course. I love my life.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"The Lord is my Shepherd....He leads me beside still waters..."

What's Your Love Language?

     Some of you've heard of Gary Chapman's book series titled, "The Five Love Languages". There's the Love Languages for Kids, Singles, Marrieds, Parents of Teens, etc. But all of these books are centered around the same 5 Characteristics we are said to best receive and give love:

1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

     There's a fun little test you can take to figure out what your top 2 love languages are (Click Here to take the test). I took the test a while back, and my top 2 love languages were/are: 1. Physical Touch and, 2. Quality Time.

    The premise of the book states that we all operate in these key expressions of love, but one or two are our primary love language, according to our personalities. Meaning, the way in which we actually feel loved is a specific love language . And the way that we express our love to others is done in a particular love language.

     I'm thinking of retaking the test. I feel as though my expression of love has possibly matured and changed a bit. But then again, maybe not. I still absolutely adore quality time and affection.

     With that said, what's your primary love language?

Wisdom's Knocking:

Take the time to understand how you best receive expressions of love.  And let that be known.

Love Posture

Photo Credit: Chris Molitor

     I'm always so concerned with the end result of a matter. I tend to find identity and validation in accomplishment. But clearly, I know that it's not simply about the destination, but the journey.

     Last week, I heard a remarkable and simple sentence from a mature and established artist. He simply commented on his desire to just do good work. He wasn't concerned with the awards and the accolades. He truly loved his craft.

     I know we've heard this posture of heart before. But it carries much more weight when you personally know the artist, their character, and the amazing quality of their work, as I did, with this particular individual.

     With this artist, I knew that what he said was full of absolute sincerity. So much so, that I felt the sweetness (not harshness) of conviction hit my soul.

     How many subjects and areas of my life do I count as incomplete because I have not reached an award, recognition or accolade? Case and point: My hopes of marriage. The sense of accomplishment. Accomplishing, what I consider, a major event of love. I've allowed myself to feel as though I'm not fully functioning in my passion. And although I am an avid romantic, I realize now, that marriage will only be a continuation of the journey of love that I am partaking in at this very moment.

     And in recognizing this, there are so many people to love passionately that are currently present in my life. So instead of me being concerned with the end goal of "accomplished love" through a specific event and moment, I realize that I am already "accomplishing love" in my day to day life-- even now.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Let your journey be filled with love, love, and more love. Love never fails. And will always be in its being and doing, an accomplishment of great proportions.

Groupie

Photo Credit: Dan Molitor

     I love my teen shows. I'm pretty much obsessed. Seriously. Here's a memorable scene from one of my new favorite teen shows:


     I like to call this scene: "It's Gettin' Hot in Herrr--Almost"

:::

INT. Living Room

Guy and girl sit cozy on a couch. All of the previous dinner guests have just left. It's now just the two of them.

Guy: What does it take to be one of your closest friends...?

Girl: What does it take to be one of your closest friends...?

(The two of them kiss.)

Guy: I don't do boyfriend, you understand that. Right?

(pause)

Girl: Sure

Guy: I have an unusually large emotional range which requires a lot of women, but should you choose to be one of those women, I promise you it'll be worth it. Well worth it. I'll always be honest with you. And right now, you are definitely, definitely top 3.

(The two almost kiss again...)

Girl: You don't do boyfriend. I don't do groupie.


End Scene.

:::

     Please tell me, you know what my favorite line of this scene is! I almost died laughing. Oh, and if you can guess which show this is, I'll give you a dollar. Hint: Meryl Streep's daughter plays the lead...

Wisdom's Knocking:

Establish a head of time what your boundaries are. Not merely in the moment of passion.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

      You know when someone new comes into your life, and you just click miraculously. You click amidst that person having no true context for who you really are.  They are not blinded or affected by your profession or varied accolades. Like magnets, the essence of both of you, are simply drawn together--effortlessly.

 Photo Credit: David Whitlow

     It's like a beautiful divine gift. It's a connection based on integrity, and hopeful prospects in its truest form. It's not based on how the two of you might gain a power play in life or use the other for social climbing, but instead it's a beautiful and authentic expression of the depths of friendship.

     Although I have recently experienced a divine connection with someone that has caused my heart to overflow with joy. That's not the current situation I'm thinking of and dissecting.

     I recently met and connected with a new friend within the last few months. And after they realized what I did for a living, there was increased pursuit on their part. Needless to say, I'm a bit suspicious of their motives. Am I being blatantly used?

Wisdom's Knocking:

True friendship is nothing short of a miracle.

Mo' Friends

Photo Credit: Yajaira Reynolds

     In the quest to become ever so popular, especially in the social network world, if you're not breaking at least 200 friends, people might think something is wrong with you. And if you have over 2,000 friends and your not a bona fide celebrity, you may come across as a D-bag.

     As I steadily make my climb on the social network ladder, I begin to feel a bit of conviction. Proverbs 18:24 comes to mind: "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

     The true beauty of friendship boils down to those 1 or 2 friends that you know would carry your body out of a burning fire, or would sit and talk with you about nonsense for at least 6 hours straight--and both of you actually enjoy it.

     So I asked myself the question: Am I turning into that person that has the appearance of friendships without the reality of true close and intimate friendships? I hope not.

Wisdom's Knocking:

It's not good to spread yourself thin, especially in the realm of friendships that one acquires. It's about quality of friendship, not quantity.

Girl-friend/Boy-friend

Photo Credit: Yajaira Reynolds

I want to write a poem about how one draws a line.
Making distinctions.
Making points clear.
(And to this man)
I understand you have a lot friends of the female persuasion.
Therefore, I like it when you draw lines.
Making things clear.
And in this poem, I'd talk about Drawing lines fast or even slow.
But persuading you to just go ahead and Draw one.
I prefer it to be Drawn with a pen rather than a pencil.
I like it when one begins to Draw lines, because then
They begin to turn into Hearts.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures."--E.L. Cole

Virtual Is Not the Same As Actual

     Photo Credit: Denise Valle

    I have this thing.


     I greatly dislike talking on the phone. And yet, I love the use of email and on-line chat when connecting with people. And now, I'm starting to learn why.

     It takes me a while to digest and process words and emotions. I like to soak in them first. I don't like to feel rushed into a response or an answer.

     I'd like to believe that I'm fairly articulate. But I'd also like to credit that to my constant ability to express my emotions through the written word. What I write online is just a small sliver of what I freehand journal on an almost daily basis.

     I journal almost every signifcant emotional and spiritual shift in my life. And with that said, that gives me time to digest how I truly feel about a particular person or event. Plus, hindsight is an amazing mirror.

     So to my friends old and new. Don't feel dismayed because I refuse to spend hours on the phone with you. The phone does afford me inflection and tone when listening to someone, but it robs me of one of my favorite things--eye contact. And while on the phone, I spend half of my time wondering if you are multi-tasking like I am.

     Granted, sometimes I do miss your voice. And will humble myself and just make that call. But just promise me you won't rush our "still moments". Silence doesn't always have to be filled. Even on the phone.

Wisdom's Knocking:

I don't care how advanced technology gets, virtual is not the same as actual.

I'm Like..."Just Wright"

     I recently saw the Queen Latifah and Common movie, "Just Wright". Which was a cute movie, by the way. Nothing to write home about it, but it got the job done.

     How many of us ladies can relate to the Queen Latifah character (Leslie Wright) in the movie. You know, being the kind of girl that all the guys love to kick it with, but not enough to date.

     Part of a line in the story synopsis, better explains that previous sentiment: "Is Leslie destined to play the role of "best friend" forever or will Scott finally see that what he always wanted is right in front of him?"

     By the time I finished watching the movie, I thought, "Dang, I'm just like Leslie Wright, except that I don't live in Jersey, drive a Mustang, root for the Nets, or kick it with NBA players. But other than that, we are practically twins."

Wisdom's Knocking:

Your affections are worth guarding. Don't settle for being someone's Plan B.

Make Like New

   

     So, I went on my little adventure. And now I'm a year older. The journey there was full of drama, rain, sleet, snow, hydro-planing, and little sleep. Mind you, this is not a metaphor. But in the end it was all worth it.

     Funny thing. I went on my little adventure, with purpose...I was after something that I wanted. But instead, I got something that I so desperately needed.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need." -- Rolling Stones

Skip Like Rope

     Photo Credit: Francesco / Artist: Banksy

     Well, I'm off to go on a little adventure. Not sure how it will all go down, but by the end of the week, I will definitely be a year older. I like the idea of that. I also like the idea that I'm aging gracefully. No, really. I mean it. And I'm not referring to wrinkles and such, I'm referring to my current outlook on life.

     Not dismal, but expectant.

     I've been knocked down. I've felt the punch. But haven't we all.

     The bell hasn't rung. And the round isn't over. I think I'm getting my second wind.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Everybody loves a good comeback.

To the Left or To the Right

     Photo Credit: David Whitlow

     I've written about this before: The ability to make choices and move forward with them. But I realize that I cannot move forward in a decision that my heart is not fully in, or even a choice that may have been made by default. I may expect the best outcome, regardless, but if passion, heart, and authentic curiosity are not somehow a part of the final decision, I'll be heavily tempted to buckle under the pressure of someone else's opinion or much more likely to resent the decision in the end.

     So with that said. I choose not to fall prey to a self-pity standstill, or ask someone to make a decision for me.

     Instead. I'll listen. I'll listen to what God has been whispering to me, and I'll let my heart respond in the way that it has been trying to, all along.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Patience is not a passive standstill, but an active assurance that the best outcome will come to pass.

Beautiful Faces

Photo Credit: Adaobi

     I just skimmed through some of my friends' profile photos on Facebook. These people are BEAUTIFUL. Seriously. And if I haven't told you lately, it's most likely because we haven't had decent face to face time.

     I know that the idea of skin deep beauty is quite subjective and by nature superficial.  But whether it's "symmetry", a sparkling in your eyes, or an authentic expressive fashion sense, I see you. And your beauty does not intimidate me, rather it makes me feel even more beautiful.

    I'm glad we're friends.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Just look. Beauty is all around you, in subtle and profound ways.

Give and Take

     Photo Credit: Marielle

     It is said many times by Jesus in Scripture, the sentiment, "A life of generosity begets generosity." Which led me to think of a conversation I had with a friend within the last week or so.

     This particular person seemed to have resentment for all the ways that they were pouring out. It was like a horrible stench filled the room when they talked with their sense of entitlement and all the ways  they continually give out.

     Something is off here. Generosity begets generosity, not bitterness. For my friend, there was a demand being placed on people that they were unaware of. My friend wasn't giving out compassion for free, but instead for validation and recognition. And when you put those stipulations on the beauty of "Giving", you'll never get in return its true fruit.

     Generosity begets generosity.

     It comes back to you when you least expect it, and usually not by your own doing. And in so doing it becomes generosity poured out "to" you,  rather than coming from within you. Which if it had come from "within" you, it would be more or less of a self-induced motivation and not the type of giving that involves exchange with others and the world around us.

     So in this conversation with my friend, I felt irritation rising up within me. Bitterness begets bitterness. We all know that misery loves company, and you can definitely find someone to party with and agree to all your self-righteous woes.

     But just as others had done for me countless times in the past, when I had my own self-righteous rants, I chose in that moment to give. I chose to respond with compassion and kindness.

Photo Credit: Daniella Hovsepian

     It was a Compassion that had not been authored by me, but was mine for the taking and the using. Plus, mercy began to flood my heart. How many times, had I felt drained or taken advantage of, for the many ways I tried to give my love away.

     If a life of generosity begets generosity, meaning...If giving increases joy in your life and the cycle of receiving, why, then oh why, would one who gives so much away have a stench of bitterness trailing behind them and ever present on their breath?

     I think for several reasons, some reasons being: The intent to give was not genuine. There were stipulations put on the act of giving. Manipulation was involved, and the person didn't get their desired result. Or perhaps the key reason being: Giving out of fear or perceived obligation, versus giving out of love and faith.

:::

     My demand and expectation is no longer on shifty people or circumstances to bring forth the reaping of what I've sown, but my trust is in the ever stable God who gloriously outshines them all. He is the best Giver. Always.

     And as it has been said to me: "You can never out-give God." And how He chooses to give back to you and bless you, will always far surpass any dreams and hopes that you may have had for yourself and others.

     A life of generosity begets generosity.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Giving is not giving, if you're only after the taking.

Lullabye

You, Me and a Rocking Chair
Weightless
Dreaming of Songs
You write to me
I sing to you
And we are safe.
Hidden.
But you still see me.
Eyes closed, with your breath whispering my name.
There are no clocks to keep the time, only music.
And I will spend forever with you.

Photo Credit: Nikki

Wisdom's Knocking:

Quiet times with the one you love are wonderfully necessary.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

     There are those times when you feel as if you're on a winning streak. Okay. Wait. Pause. Before you read any further, we have to set the mood. Look to the right of this blog. You see my little music player? Click on the song, "Buzzin." This will give you a bit of context as to how a winning streak might feel. And mind you,  I am holding back making other "winning" comments. But if you're hip to current events, you can fill in the blank with your own "winning" comments and scenarios.

     But mostly, I wanted to share, how my heart almost skipped a beat a couple weeks ago. You know when you have a certain song in your head, and you turn the radio on and that particular song starts playing immediately? Or you have a certain person that comes to mind, and all of a sudden they call you out of the blue? Yes, I was winning.

Artist: Jeannette Woitzik

     I had the song scenario, the phone call scenario, and about 5 other things happen all in a row. It was like I was in some sort of cosmic zone, where everything began to align in almost freakish ways.

     Which then made me pay attention to the things that I speak and wish for. They were actually more real than I had thought. And oddly enough, when I got those things that I had previously thought that I wanted, I was either freaked out by their presence or those things were waning in glory, leaving me still wanting...with heavy unresolve.

     So with new precision, I am much more aware of what I wish for...

Wisdom's Knocking:

Be careful what you wish for...You just might get it.

Stutter Step

Photo Credit: Daniella Hovsepian

      Inspired by Elisa, Vegas, Ryan, and Sky Villa Scenarios...

                     :::

     When opportunity arises, and believe me it will, I hope that we are positioned with enough courage to move forward into it.

     I'm always critical of the unnecessary hesitation. In fact, I usually say, hesitation will get you killed. Yes, it's the dramatic way of saying, don't make a habit out of "Stutter Steppin". Be decisive. Make your choice. See it through. Settle in the idea of potential consequences. Seek wisdom. But please, oh, please, don't Stutter Step!

Wisdom's Knocking:

Opportunity will knock on your door at a strategic point in your life. Will you answer or will you sit in fear?

But We Know the Truth

Photo Credit: Daniella Hovsepian

     These past few months, I've been in a season where a particular person has been speaking negatively about my character and my heart's intentions.

     This person clearly thought/thinks that I am a certified jerk. And I felt helpless in a way, because I was not allowed to defend myself or share my side of certain events.  And to know, that there was nothing that I could do to convince this person of my good intentions or to change their mind about their perception of me, drove me insane.

     The depths of my people-pleasing nature were found out. And I had to trust God in a new way. I had to trust that He would defend my character at the end of the day.

     It's one thing to have "Jerky" moments, of which I do. I'm not pretending that I don't. But it's another thing to have someone define you as a complete jerk and write you off.

     I mean, was that truth of who I was--an unforgivable jerk?

     As I was sharing the weight of these things with a friend of mine, and examining my own worth and identity, she gently said to me, like a healing balm..."But we know the truth."

Wisdom's Knocking:

The truth of your character will always find it's way to the light.

3-2-1

     Have you done something lately that has challenged and scared you a bit? I did, earlier this month, by taking on a new job position with exciting new responsibilities. It was one of those things where I decided to just jump. I didn't dwell on all of the possible things that could go wrong. Instead, I just, ever so gently, moved forward, centimeter by centimeter.

Photo Credit: Willy Branlund

     Taking a risk like that was such a breath of fresh air. and now, being on the other side of the challenge. I can say, with full confidence, that it was completely worth it.

     I'm more determined than ever, to make sure I step out into something scary and challenging at least once a month. Normally, my preferred stance would be that of someone hiding.  But jumping into the unknown and being seen in the midst of it is not as scary as I once thought, but actually quite freeing.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Risk is the special ingredient in the recipe of Accomplishment.

Casual Intentions

Photo Credit: Yajaira Reynolds

     I was having a great conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday. We chatted about love, life, and the lack of those two words being hyphenated together in our midst.

     I shared with her briefly how a certain guy friend of mine was being intentionally friendly, but at the same time very casual in regards to his emotions. In my world, casual intentions are a bit of an oxymoron.
    
     Nevertheless, I fear that our generation has become proficient in this term casual intentions. I find it more and more difficult to discern if one of my guy friends is trying to put feelers out romantically or if they are just being nice. So instead, I get to sit in limbo. Because you didn't make it clear. You didn't man-up. And chances are, I'll only voluntarily sit in your casual-intentions limbo for about 2 weeks. I have little patience for the lack of pursuit--even if I was open to the idea of being with you.


     I fear that casual intentions are the killers of passion. I may be focusing on the romantic aspect of casual intentions (Out of my own frustrations), but this theme of casual intentions can invade the way in which someone pursues life in general...

     I'm curious to hear from both you ladies and gents that skim over my blog posts occasionally.

     Thoughts, comments, rants?

Wisdom's Knocking:

Live life intentionally.

My Thinking Face

     

      I don't know if it's a played-out pick up line or sincerity, but I'm a little tired of guys coming up to me, with their so called swagger telling me, "You need to smile."

     I'm an observer and avid listener by nature. Chances are, I already saw you 5 minutes before you decided to walk up to me. And in my mind, I'm trying to understand 3 key things: 1. Your intentions 2. Do you have a job. 3. Are you my potential boo, the kind that's full of kindness, swagger-thugness, humor, and more swagger-thugness?

     As I try and observe your clothes, especially your footwear and the way that you carry yourself, I've already begun to form an opinion (Whether it is correct or not is of little consequence at this point). All to say, there is a lot of thinking involved. And my expressive face reflects this arduous journey of observation.

     To you, the male outsider, it may look like my "serious face". But I assure you, it's not. It's simply my thinking face. And the verdict is still out on you, still pending...Unless you make me smile of course, not by force, but by your own ease, confidence, and kindness.

Wisdom's Knocking:

I don't want to judge you like a mere book cover, instead I want to read you like a book.

The Wild Things Are

    

 Photo Credit: David Whitlow Photography

     It's pained me a little bit to not have blogged earlier this week. My mind is still reeling from the many different scenarios and topics that I now have concluding my work week in Las Vegas.

     I feel inspired and at the same time grasping. By no means, do I feel as if I've arrived, but I truly do feel accomplished.

     This month of March has already begun with lightening bolts of surprises and brushes of mediocrity. I'll spare you my cryptic metaphors and get into specifics within the next few days.

     It's weird and yet oddly fulfilling to know that you have turned over a new leaf, only to find a new garden to plant, and new ways to grow and understand the world around you.

     There is a new garden, yes. But there may be weeds in the garden. How do we face these wild things bombarding our senses and atmospheres? Grace. Fierce Grace. Trusting and believing that Goodness and Mercy will follow you all the days of your life. Regardless of where the wild things are.

Wisdom's Knocking:

The calm is not just before a storm, but after.

All Growns Up

    

     I'm starting to feel like a grown up this week. For a variety of reasons. And no, I am not abandoning my childlike awe, but instead I embrace my grown folk strength, security, and ease in a refreshed way.

     It's as if something has switched this week. I like it.

     I find myself looking more intently into people's eyes as I talk with them. Normally, I am drawn to look at your mouth, in order to better understand the words you speak. But I'm finding out that although your mouth is moving, your eyes are really telling me the story.

     I'm being affected by this phenomenon not merely in my extracurricular activities, but even now, while I'm at work, working alongside some very clever and lovely New Yorkers.

     It's almost hypnotic. Being present. Very aware of the moment that you are in--within time and space. I could loose myself in the gazing into the stories told by these human's eyes, and yet,  just as profoundly still maintan my own feelings, presence, purpose, and peace.

Wisdom's Knocking:

It's been said, that the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Stop and Go

     Photo Credit: Shelley Paulson Photography

     I was feeling a bit of momentum with a particular subject, I mean, person. But then, it seemed as if things halted. Blah. And here I was, ready to bolt out of the gate with a prize in my hand, gleaming from ear to ear, screaming, "I've arrived, I've arrived!"

     Sadly, I think I've been bamboozled. Which is quite surprising even to me. Probably more humbling than anything else. Here I was, thinking, I could no longer be fooled by "good intentions". And yet, now, I'm tangled up in them.

     Leave me alone good intentions. And Promise get back here and kiss me.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Men, take the time to glean from Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew" or the more modern rendition, "10 Things I Hate About You". Your game will be so much better. I promise you.

In Our Night

     

     Oh, You are faithful. So faithful. I tend to forget many things. But not You. You don't forget one comma or pause in the ongoing sentence that is our conversation.

     And I remember. I remember how you told me it would be versus how it could be. And I remember weeping. But if I only knew, that what you set aside for me was better than what I had lost.

     You never forget. You're so faithful. You never forget one comma or pause in the ongoing sentence that is our conversation.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Even our silence communicates.

Know When to Fold 'Em

     

     I find myself constantly pushing to get sometihng done, just to simply mark it as done. Yes, this could be a good thing, but not so much when you have reached the limit of exhaustion and the wise thing to do, would be to stop, rest, regroup, and try to tackle the project in the morning. Plus, rushing to simply mark something as "done", doesn't  mean that it gets "done well".

     Plus, there's no immediate deadline that I'm dealing with at the moment, just the sense of self satisfaction of getting something done. You know, checking something off the list. It feels so good.

     And it's quite the miracle when I get things done. I have equal parts sleepy procrastination, as well as, get-it-done-way-before-the-deadline-rush-mania. Plus throw in the fact that I could go down a variety of rabbit trails of other things to do while on my way to do the thing I set out to do in the first place. It just makes for interesting scenarios.

     All to say, tonight was one of those nights. I'm in preparation for another show that I'll be working this weekend. Tons of information keep streaming in, and I keep trying to find new compartments of my brain (or Excel) to place these facts and figures in.

     But now, it's gotten late, and I'm experiencing hazy vision. So instead of pummeling through, I'm gonna stop. And rest. Yes, as awkward as it feels to me, I'm going to resume this project in the morning.

     I just hope this unfinished business doesn't haunt my dreams.

     Isn't that what unfinished business does in the long run...lingers, bothers us, haunts us. Oh, but that's another blog altogether...Once again, we'll simply let it go, and trust that God has everything under control, especially the things that we do not, and even the things we think we do have under control.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Getting it done. Or getting it done well. You decide.