Unfriended, Unfollowed = New Beginnings... And Mr. Matthew Hussey

     

Photo Credit: Joshua Anderson

     That moment you realize you have less "followers"/friends than you last remembered having. Whether it be Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

     I looked at my Instagram intently last week.

     Wait. Who just "unfollowed" me?

     We then rack our minds and do some skillful internet stalkery.

     Or maybe this only happens to me.

     Perhaps it was a misunderstanding. Perhaps their finger didn't mean to press unfollow. Technology can be tricky. Maybe they were framed...

    But often the truth is much more poignant than those excuses.

     They simply didn't want to "Follow" me anymore.

     End of sentence.

     Accept it. It's okay.

     Yes there were probably reasons behind such a move. Which may surface at another time. But until then, there's no need to be stagnant.

     Don't wallow in it.

     This could very well be a blessing in disguise. Actually....It probably is.

     And now we can gently move forward.

     Not just arbitrarily, but now in the hope of a new beginning.

    Speaking of new things...

     I'm so excited to share with you all, that my little old blog has been chosen to partner with the launch of a book by one of my favorite relationship experts, titled "Get the Guy", by the charming Matthew Hussey. It officially drops today, Tuesday, April 9th!

     One of my favorite things to do in the world is to help women fall in love! And I have such a heart for those "Ladies in Waiting"! If you've been reading this blog at all in the last 6 years, you KNOW I can relate.  Ha.

     But trust me, you're going to want to hear what Matthew has to say. I think one of the things that stood out to me regarding Matthew, wasn't just his profound and practical wisdom in the area of life, romance and how men and women communicate; but simply his heart and his message. He oozes sincerity and a humble heart, while being bold and genuine about his pursuit to help women in the area of romance.

     You can catch him in action on NBC's new dating show: Ready for Love, premiering today, April 9th, at 9|8c, after "The Voice".

     Now here's a snippet from his new book:

     But first....

     A giveaway I get to extend to you! Courtesy of Matthew Hussey's wonderful team. The first of my 30 readers to buy the print copy of "Get the Guy" (Either through Amazon or your local bookstore) will get 1 FREE "Get the Guy" tour ticket to see and hear Matthew in person! Click here to see if he'll be in a city near you!

*Note: To qualify for this giveaway, you can do 1 of 2 things.

1.  Simply leave a comment under this post letting me know that your in! And provide me with your email address before May 1st, 2013.

or...

2. Shoot me an email at puerilityvol1@gmail.com before May 1st, 2013.

     But most importantly, be sure to purchase the book (And keep that receipt ;)! Let me know what you loved about it, hated about it. What shocked you the most? What challenged you the most?

     Believe me, I'm still processing all of these insights from Matthew, as well! I'll tell you in future posts what encourages me about some of the things that Matthew says and what also irritates me about some of Matthew's advice...

     Now here's a taste of Matthew Hussey's book, "Get the Guy":
*Oh and as a courtesy note: Yes, there is some "colorful" language*

     I'm also very interested to hear feedback from some of my male readers. What are your lovely thoughts about what Matthew has to say about your species? Does it resonate? Or do you feel that it's all hogwash?

----

     And yes, I know this blog post took some weird turns that you probably didn't expect. From venting about a social media rejection to proclaiming new beginnings to introducing an in-your-face look at the ways of romance through a book I would have never considered picking up just a few years ago, simply because of the title (Almost sounding too aggressive for my dainty lady ways...), to my first online giveaway. Yep. That's just how I roll.

     But as we endeavor on this journey together--of me sharing with you my ups and downs and subsequent lessons, I truly want you to be more blessed because you took the time to read my stories. I want you to get far more out of it than either of us expect. And that's going to entail me sharing more about the people that are currently influencing and challenging my life in significant ways, and it's also going to entail me giving gifts to you. Because I simply love giving gifts.

     There's something sweet about new beginnings. The good ones usually come on the heels of a previous craptastic scenario. So be encouraged. If you're in the thick and death of things, the beauty of resurrection is soon to follow. Have your eyes and your heart open for it. In matters of life and love.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"We don't enter relationships hoping to create an extraordinary existence;
we come to them to share one with someone else."

- Matthew Hussey

Bang, Bang, Boom

Photo Credit: Denise Valle

     I've just rediscovered the trigger on the gun.

     Nothing new, but something quite familiar.

     Social media.

     We joke about how consumed our lives are with it, but today, I set myself up. It was dumb, really.

     I called myself a martyr of some sort before I did it. I needed to face my fear.

     So I walked up to my proverbial cliff. And I jumped.

     But the water wasn't as deep as I thought it was. And I was knocked a bit unconscious. I know. Unfortunate.

     Let me give you a bit of backstory.

     So back in late November 2012, early December I was beginning to process my 2012. The highs, the lows, the mediocrity. And I couldn't shake this overwhelming fog. Things were not as clear as I knew they could be and should be. How did 2012 get so weird?

     How did I miss it? Yes, romance was big on my heart. At the tip top of the year, I had met someone who I thought was as close to husband material as I'd ever met. We're talking a 9.99999 on all scales. Faith, Looks, Intelligence, & Humor. I was in utter shock that someone on the planet existed like this person. And our paths had crossed. Surely, that alone was confirmation that he and I were meant to be together.

     And then, on my birthday, I discovered he had chosen another over me.

     A pattern I know all to well.

     Needless to say, I spent half of my birthday crying like a baby. Asking God, the tried and true, "Whyyyy? But Whyyy? And how could this happen again??"

    What was I doing wrong?

     The culprit of my discovery, which is quite important, given the subject matter of this post, was none other than Instagram. Yeah. I said it.

     Attention:

     Nothing you post on the Internet and social media is ever truly private.

     Guys: We as ladies, basically use social media as a means to background check your butts, and to constantly gage the temperature of our relationship/friendships with you. I know. It's a bit sad. Like you need another hurdle to get over, in the ever expansive landscape of female behavior. But sometimes you don't communicate with us, so we're forced to do some digging around to see how you're really doing.

     Yes. This is quite shameful. And yet a hard habit for us ladies to break.

Can I digress for a moment. 

I'm having trust issues. 

It's dawned on me that people are not always as trustworthy as their smile would make them appear to be.  

You didn't have time to message me back, you've been so so busy you tell me, yet Facebook and Instagram are telling me that you just liked 5 of "Carla's" pictures and had time to leave a comment on her Facebook page and Instagram picture in the last 30 seconds. 

Well, guess what that tells me. 

I just got played. Or worse. Forgotten about. 

Rejection is never pretty--subtle or blatant, but it's uglier when drawn out. 

You could have just been honest with me in the beginning. But now, I feel doubly worse. And this stirs up my trust issues. You must be a sweet talker. "Also known as a liar," quotes my heart. And now we're at ground zero.  

It's true, our secrets eventually get exposed, it's just a matter of time. 

Why do people still think that they'll never get found out? I always find this astounding. I mean, is your ego so solid that you think you'll never trip up and make a mistake? Mmmmk. 

It was ingrained in me at an early age that "God sees everything, everywhere, all the time. Plus, I had intense family members who worked for the government reassuring me that nothing of our lives was really ever private in this country. Talk to me about some conspiracy theories. I got you. 

So, growing up, I suspected my whole life would be on display somehow, it was just a matter of time.  Therefore, it would be most beneficial for me to be honest in the dark and in the light.  

Granted I didn't really catch this revelation until about 19. But at least I caught it. Ha.

     So the above section basically sums up the cycle of my 2012. A deep seated feeling of rejection and feeling as though I had missed the mark somehow. I had let my heart down.

     And then it became 2013.

     And 2013 becomes my year of Singleness. Because somehow along the way in 2012, I've picked up fog. I'm not talking cute fog, I'm talking that dense fog that makes your heartbeat get a little funny when you're driving through it, only able to see 11 inches in front of your vehicle.

     Consequently, by the end of 2012, the dreams of my heart were so shattered regarding career, ministry, and romance, like glass spewn in front of my feet, I didn't know which piece belonged with what piece.

     So I needed to take myself out of this mind game. I had to. If anything different was ever going to happen...

     And so I held my breath. And I told my heart that I would not give it the very thing that it has been craving for oh-so-long.

     And I took my heart out of my hands, and told it, "Everything is going to be okay. I promise. I promise."

     I slipped my heart nervously back in the Hands that seem to hold so many other things with such care, love, and grace.

     But somehow it wasn't all settled for me.

     Yes. I'm single and will remain single all of 2013 on purpose...and perhaps indefinitely, but--

     What gets tricky is when you find yourself still loving someone despite their untrustworthy nature and the rejection experienced at their hand.

     And this is when I decided to jump off my cliff.

     But how will I do that?

     Duh.


     Instagram.


     Sometimes, just sometimes-- when you want to find something, you actually do. These are the moments that I don't really want what I think I want, but I act like I do. I soldier on, with my gun by my side and my hand on the trigger.

     Literally. No joke, it took less than 5 seconds to find the incriminating evidence that I needed to make me cry. Thank you, Instagram "Following" button, a.k.a. Possibly the Devil.

     But I kept telling myself this was all necessary, face the cold hard facts, so that he'll be dead to you. Completely.

     But the only person that felt dead was me. Concussions have a tendency to do that.

     I look around. I'm not dead. That's a good sign.

     To be continued...

Wisdom's Knocking:

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings..."
-Lao Tzu 

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Go, Ricki!

I've been keeping it pretty heavy lately, pouring my heart out to you this past week. But my own melodrama is getting a bit exhausting. Even for me.

I thought I'd reiterate some news you've probably heard already.

Just when I felt that I was missing 1995 in a big way, here she comes.

"Rick-eee! Rick-eee! Rick-eee!"

I don't know if taping the show in Culver City, Cali, will give the show its same gritty live vibe that New York City did, but perhaps our dear Ricki is taking us on a new road, a new direction.

It's funny to me that there is a new generation of young folks that...

#1: Have no idea who Ricki Lake is. And her show's television run from 1993-2004.

And #2: Have never seen "The Princess Bride."

But I digress.




So yes. "The Ricki Lake Show" is back this Fall. And somehow I feel like I'm young all over again. Like a re-do button has been pushed.

And I get to start something over.

Oh, how grateful I am for new beginnings.

Wisdom's Knocking:

God's mercies are new every morning.