A Letter to My Boyfriend.

Last night my good friend Paris said that I am ready for love. I just thought you should know.

And if you have any fears in approaching me, please don't... I'm tender. Really.

I think I dreamt of you in 1999 or maybe it was 98 around Christmas. It was one of the most beautiful dreams I have ever had. When I see you, I'll tell you about it. Probably before we get married or something.

I'm happy that you're looking for me. I've been wanting you to look for me for years now. Are you still in NYC or are you finally here in Cali? Are you stuck on a train...or on a bus somewhere writing songs about me?

Nonetheless, Paris said I'm ready. And for some reason, I believe her.

Merry Christmas!

...Oh, by the way, I love you.

Okay.

I'm going to stop pushing now.

Have You Ever...

Wanted something so bad

That you pushed it away

Gotta Getcha, Getcha, Getcha, Getcha Head in the Game

Love Makes Music

It's the day after Thanksgiving. I laughed a lot last night. It's good to have joy. I am appreciating family more. These days are precious. I'm wrapping myself in music. It makes me feel lovely.

Open Doors.

Hey, did you know that you can leave me comments :) For reals. Even if you're not a blogger person member. Just thought I'd lay that out there.

So, as I was examining my heart tonight, and in the midst of listening to some goood preachin'. I spoke a new slogan: "I want to choose and have God approve". I know, not as amazing as: "Let's kick it like Tae Bo".

I'm just now wrapping my mind around love again. If God is love, and there are infinite dimensions to Him, then the same can be true for love. And of course I was thinking and evaluating romance lovin'.

I've grown in stages. The first stage was: I want every cute guy that I see...why can't I have them, Lord? that was up until early undergrad. The next stage was: I can't choose a man for myself at all, so Jesus fly a man to my door right now so I don't have to choose the wrong person and make a mistake. Ever. Yeah, that stage was up about last year.

Which brings us to this sorta new stage: Lord I'm excited to actually go through the emotions of attraction and make a choice. But still, more importantly...are You breathing Your life over this...do You Approve. But see, the big step is now in my choice...and trusting Him.

I'm so used to sensing the voice of God with so many other decisions in my life, and now I feel like I have a great deal of training to now put into practice. Specifically with this realm of romance. But funny enough, I haven't always felt this way. This is sorta new territory.

So many of us Christians are paranoid when it comes to romantic relationships. We whole heartedly desire to get it all right. Each step. Perfection. But I think in the midst of that we get so caught up in the rules that we freeze and forget to excercise true trust and freedom in the Lord. I guess it's that whole religion vs. relationship topic.

Nevertheless, what we are after is intimacy. First with God and secondly with each other. A journey is happening in my heart tonight. I'm visiting those insecure places of which I never though I'd revisit again. But I'm also seeing the promises of new joy and new hope. New peace and new love.

The Night of a Lifetime.

Yeah. So tonight I started watching this Lifetime movie "Best Friends". I forgot how much I love Lifetime movies. Mystery, suspense, love. What more could you want?

Sooo.... what did you do tonight?

Love in General...

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Travel-International-Vancouver-If You Can.

Oh yes, it was a month ago, but the impact still remains. But these were highlights from my adventures in Vancouver, Canadia:

The loving married couple Judy and I stayed with.

Driving 22.5 hours straight from Southern Cali to VanCity.

The Sunday night youth group @ World Harvest Church.

Turning the t.v. on and finding incredibly interesting programming.

Turning the t.v. on and seein my friend in the new J. Timberlake music video ("My Love")

Mtv Canada

Organic food everywhere

Jonny Lang // Reeve Carney and the Revolving Band Concert

Vancouver Film Festival (the Shorts Program)

Surprising Paris

Watching 5 year olds learning to ice skate

Granville Island

Stopping in Redding, Cali on the way up

Stanley Park

Granville Island

Hot Tea

Fresh Air

In the Quiet...

Sometimes...you just need to hear someone say "I love you" and mean it, in order to feel loved. And although language is only one facet of expression...the spoken word is still so powerful.

I guess my prayer today is, "Help me Lord to say what I mean and mean what I say...in love."

Sophisticated Mama...

Nina Foch is a living legend. I had the privilege of taking her class about a year and a half ago at USC. Her class changed my life.

So today, Judy and I paid her a visit at USC, while she was teaching her famous "Directing the Actor" class. We were able to express our gratitude and revisit the genius she displays while teaching.

Honestly, she is an amazing communicator, fascinating actress, and an all around stand up woman.

For those that don't know the history of Nina Foch, I will happily supply :)

"Nina Foch (b. April 20, 1924 in Leiden, Netherlands) is a Dutch-born American actress and leading lady in many 1940s films. Her mother was an American actress who returned to the U.S. after her marriage collapsed.

Although Foch starred in that film, her movie fame was during the height of the 1940s in which she played cool, aloof and often foreign women of sophistication. She has been featured in over 80 feature films and hundreds of television shows, most notably as a regular in John Housman's "Playhouse 90" series. In 1952, Foch played the role of Marie Antoinette in Scaramouche.

Another noteworthy role for Foch came as Bithiah in Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments, in which she played the Pharaoh's daughter who found the baby Moses in the bullrushes and adopted him as her son. She was actually a year younger than Charlton Heston who played Moses. Foch was nominated for an Academy Award for her supporting role in the 1954 film Executive Suite.

On television, she was cast in the first pilot Columbo movie, as well as Prescription: Murder, where she played a woman name Carol Flemming who was killed by her husband. More recently she appeared on Just Shoot Me, Bull and NCIS.

Nina Foch currently teaches "Directing the Actor" at the USC School of Cinematic Arts, where she has taught since the 1960s. She also works as an independent script-breakdown consultant for many prominent Hollywood directors.

She lives in Beverly Hills, California, as she has for forty years, and has one child, a son, Dr. Dirk de Brito.

Foch's first husband was James Lipton of Inside the Actor's Studio fame."

credit: wikipedia.com

My Dad Knows Things...

You know what I love about my dad, Noble (and yes, that's his real name). The fact that if there's something wrong with my car, he knows how to get straight to the problem and fix it.

I fear that too many young men these days are lacking in a bit of 'trade' knowledge. I believe that one can be artistic and technical at the same time. I only say this, because most of the guys that I love veer towards the musician/actor/artist type, but sometimes lack in the practicals.

It's true. I've been spoiled. If I ask my dad for something, he'll find a way to give it to me. Definitely keeps the bar high for the future man in my life.

All to say, I've been blessed. I've seen the highs and lows of a man of sincerity. And I'm still grateful of his sacrifices for me.

The Beginning of...

It's a wonderful and scary thing to end something and to begin something unknown. Nevertheless, that is what I am venturing to do.

It's a funny thing when we decide to listen to small sweet whispers in our spirit. It's clear that it will be a beautiful race, but the outcome, the final end all is still somehow unknown.