Hey, did you know that you can leave me comments :) For reals. Even if you're not a blogger person member. Just thought I'd lay that out there.
So, as I was examining my heart tonight, and in the midst of listening to some goood preachin'. I spoke a new slogan: "I want to choose and have God approve". I know, not as amazing as: "Let's kick it like Tae Bo".
I'm just now wrapping my mind around love again. If God is love, and there are infinite dimensions to Him, then the same can be true for love. And of course I was thinking and evaluating romance lovin'.
I've grown in stages. The first stage was: I want every cute guy that I see...why can't I have them, Lord? that was up until early undergrad. The next stage was: I can't choose a man for myself at all, so Jesus fly a man to my door right now so I don't have to choose the wrong person and make a mistake. Ever. Yeah, that stage was up about last year.
Which brings us to this sorta new stage: Lord I'm excited to actually go through the emotions of attraction and make a choice. But still, more importantly...are You breathing Your life over this...do You Approve. But see, the big step is now in my choice...and trusting Him.
I'm so used to sensing the voice of God with so many other decisions in my life, and now I feel like I have a great deal of training to now put into practice. Specifically with this realm of romance. But funny enough, I haven't always felt this way. This is sorta new territory.
So many of us Christians are paranoid when it comes to romantic relationships. We whole heartedly desire to get it all right. Each step. Perfection. But I think in the midst of that we get so caught up in the rules that we freeze and forget to excercise true trust and freedom in the Lord. I guess it's that whole religion vs. relationship topic.
Nevertheless, what we are after is intimacy. First with God and secondly with each other. A journey is happening in my heart tonight. I'm visiting those insecure places of which I never though I'd revisit again. But I'm also seeing the promises of new joy and new hope. New peace and new love.
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Acuff.
2 comments:
good attitude! <3 Where's the fun if God plays matchmaker? He has more fun watching you choose.. and when He approves...you'll know.
I can leave comments??? Really?!? LOL. You know, I went and created this google account after I read this post. I know I didn't have to, but I kinda wanted to play around with blogger (well, I am a tech geek after all... ;) ). And I got so into playing with the new toy that I forgot all about posting a comment. :D That's me!
But then I remembered. So here I am.
Cool insights, sounds like you're on your way. I totally get you on the whole "getting it perfect" junk. Went through the phase too. Then it occurred to me: just what had I ever done perfect...ever? And the Final Jeopardy thinking song came on in my head. And I'm afraid that Alex made lots of comments at my answer, cause there was none. Yeah, I was the guy on the final jeopardy who didn't even manage to scribble a guess.
Then I kinda realized how much I learn from my mistakes, missteps, miscues, misirection, and misadventures. Then I heard someone say, "Conflict in a relationship is an opportunity to create intimacy". And I said...WHAT?!?!
But it does, doesn't it? I mean, have you ever gone through a really tough time with someone...and come out the other side? Whether it's at work, a work relationship, a friend, a relative, or the love of your heart. When you go through difficulty together a trust is built. All of my closest friends have gone through times of various trials and conflicts with me. External and within the relationship. That's why they're my closest, best friends. They've seen me at my best and worst. And they're still here for the ride. That trust leads to greater openness, respect, which ultimately leads to intimacy. I mean, love is a choice, so a love that only stays when everything is perfect isn't much of a love at all. A love that lasts through adversity is the love that I desire.
So maybe a perfect relationship isn't so great after all. And maybe all great relationships aren't perfect.
Ya think?
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