Six Five (6' 5")

     

     So I may never get married.

     And that's okay.

     I'll be okay.

     You'll be okay for me.

     And no, this is not my slick attempt to trick the universe into landing marriage directly in my lap.

     I'm just sayin'. I may never get married. And although I may shed a few more tears, I'll continue to live a life full of joy, of kindness, and believing that miracles of all shapes and sizes still happen.

     I'll be more than just "okay" - I will learn how to thrive.

     I think that's my new favorite word right now: Thrive.

     It just feels good to say.

     Say it with me....THrrrriiiiiiveeeee.

     It's like a long satisfying exhale that just happens to be a word.

     You get used to the rhythm of your life in a certain way and you just assume that's the way it's always going to be.

     But it's not.

     Change is the only constant.

     And now I have to learn to expect good things again.

     It's all apart of thriving, you know.

     I want to maintain my childlike awe and wonder. I never want to become a jaded pessimist. If I get hurt, I want to admit I'm hurt and not hide behind a litany of excuses or statistics of how bad everything must always be and end up.

     I give myself permission to thrive in this season.

     You might want to do the same for yourself.

     And so yesterday, "they" asked me what kind of guys I like.

     And for those that don't know, at this stage of the game, I honestly don't have a "type" other than the "Good" kind.

     Take of that what you will.

     But at the same time, I know EXACTLY what I want. I'm not talking physicality here. I'm talking substance.

     It's so funny how close people can be to you and not really know you at all.

     Thus the question was raised.

     And do you wanna know the first thing that came out of my mouth?

     SIX.    FIVE.

     Oh, really Patrice?

     Not into physicality much are you?

     Hashtag: Fibber

     But granted, 6' 5" is not a hard and fast rule for me by any means. It's just the comfort height I made up in my mind in my late teen years whilst being obsessed with college basketball.

     I'm a girl with curves.

     I love my curves.

     And I want my curves to feel safe in the wrapping of a gentleman who is quite possibly 6' 5".

     But meanwhile, I've had crushes on guys shorter than me, "chubby bunnies" as we would call them, and real life nerd alerts.

     So it honestly depends on what season of life you catch me in.

     But the substance will always far outweigh the exterior.

     Whether in relationships or friendships.

     There's a certain texture of human, male human that is, that I know I will recognize when I see it. It's the fiber I like to call "Home".

     It's that, "I just met you, but I feel like I've known you my whole life" feeling.

     We were strangers, yet somehow not upon our first meeting.

     You and I have both experienced this on different levels in our lives, most noticeably in a select portion of our friendships.

     So I know that the idea of finding a sense of "Home" in a male counterpart is not some fiddle faddle relegated to clever fairytales.

     But yes---easy and hard enough indeed.

      So I may never get married.

      But I will still thriiiiiiiiiive.

      Or, I may very well in fact, get married....to someone who is 6' 5" and you bedda believe I'll be Thriiiiiiiiving.....

Wisdom's Knocking:

"He’s not perfect.
You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect.
But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice,
and if he admits to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto him and give him the most you can.

He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment,
but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.
Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give.
Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad,
and miss him when he’s not there.

Love hard when there is love to be had.
Because perfect guys don’t exist,
but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."

 — Bob Marley