Piners Anonymous

Photo Credit: Joshua Anderson

Unofficial definition of a Piner: 

a) A person who is romantically and deeply emotionally attached to another person who does not reciprocate the same feelings. b) One who constantly tries to be seen by and/or checks on (Ehem....stalks in a variety ways both electronically or in person) a person that one is interested in. Especially when the feelings are not reciprocated:  

"Susie and Frank had been best friends for years. But it was clear to everyone on the outside that Susie was a complete piner when it came to Frank."

     I always feel waaaaaay to vulnerable when I like someone. I just want to be around them, for no apparent reason. I feel as though I'm at the mercy of someone else's whims, moods, and attention.You know how it is. You unintentionally give the person you like, a certain power over you. And you start to feel jello-y and awkward. You know, it's like butterflies on crack. And when that person smiles your way, texts you, compliments you, something happens to the chemistry in your body and the beats of your heart.

     Well, I'm a little embarrassed to admit, that I've been teetering on the verge of being a legit piner these last few weeks. Dangit. And it sucks. I do not---I repeat, I do not want to be a piner. I've been there plenty of times before, and I only end up looking foolish, getting hurt and hating myself for it. But somehow, I have not learned my lesson...

     Sometimes being a "Unicorn", like myself, makes you a little too dreamy eyed and makes you jump the gun just a little too fast when it comes to matters of love. Because you see, we Unicorns are fierce hopeless romantics.

     But alas, here we are. And I feel a little dumb. Well actually a lot dumb.

     I'll still choose to love him, but not in the way I had originally planned and hoped for. And I'll back away ever so slightly from our friendship, until he doesn't know that I'm gone at all. Not because I really want to. But simply for self preservation. Because at this point, it hurts too much to watch and pine.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.”

- Richard Bach