A Prequel of Sorts: The Pain & Beauty of Sacrifice

      I'd like to think that this is the prequel to "Bang, Bang, Boom":

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      I think I know what I’m getting into. But not really. Believing that I can absolutely change the outcome of my life, by doing the exact opposite of what I’m wanting to accomplish.

     Yeah, that makes sense.

     Noooo.

     I foresee bumps in the road. Moments where I want to back out of my commitment to remain single minded and focused. When throwing in the towel, will seem like the most sensible thing to do.

     But what do I do then?

     I hope I’m reminded of what I’m fighting for.

     And what if I’m not.

     So many get so close to a finish line, only to back out of the race.

     Call it fear or a leg cramp.

     We’ll just call it the “Pain of Sacrifice”.

     But then I remember my dream.

     You know, the “Literal” dream I had over a year ago, that pretty much threw a monkey wrench in my romance plans. It was the type of dream that inspires you and haunts you for the rest of your life--Causing you to never settle for less then what you once had a preview of.

     “But what if this sacrifice is not unto what I think it’s unto?”—A constant quote from my mind.

     Perhaps its unto something much more beautiful?

     And how much smooth sailing will I actually encounter along the way?...I almost want to bust out laughing for even asking that question. I mean, really? “Smooth Sailing”?? For some reason, every miracle that has been handed to me or happened to me has involved me feeling like I’m being pushed through a birthing canal or this miracle has appeared at the very, very, very, VERY last minute.

     But in both cases, before those miracles had occurred, I had gotten to the place of letting go completely. I simply trusted and believed God. There was nothing left for me to do.

     So as I think about the year ahead, I’m certain of only a 2 things:

1. I’m pretty sure I’m going to embarrass myself more than once this year. And as always, I’ll tell you in as many details as I can without incriminating others without their permission. 

2. I’m almost certain that I will not be the same version of who I am today.

      And beyond that, the rest is unknown.

     In all honesty, I’m scared of what 2013 really holds for me. And perhaps that’s a good thing.

     The beauty towards sacrifice. The beauty in sacrifice. The  Beauty of Sacrifice.

Wisdom’s Knocking: 

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine,

I keep my eyes wide open all the time,

I keep the ends out for the tie that binds,

Because you're mine, I walk the line."

-Johnny Cash