Fire Kisses and Triggers

     Photo Credit: Hannah Cruz

     Today was my Sabbath. My day of rest. The purpose of my day today was not to have my usual list, the "To-Do's" lurking and following my every move. Today, I wanted to make sure I accomplished nothing.

     It may seem like a setback of sorts, but it's actually the opposite. If I don't take one day a week to get my mind right, I get anxious, cranky, out of sorts and such.

     So I took my time today. I have a new robe of surrender wrapped around me. And I feel freer than I have in years.

     Alone, I headed off to one of my beloved Greek-style eateries, ready to feast on one of my favorite meals. As I walked outside to find a table with a good view, I noticed another firetruck. Yes, another. I saw the first one around the corner. But there didn't seem to be an emergency. Guess everyone at the station got hungry at the same time.

     The table I wanted was going to be stuck with a view of a firetruck, and not the city view beyond it. And then I realized the firetruck in front of me, full of firemen, was about to pull off. Which would then afford me a stellar view of the city from the table I wanted to initially sit at.

     As the firetruck began to slowly pull away, I had this thought of how much I love firemen. They are brave, they are rescuers, and almost all of them are extremely  handsome (Not quite sure how that happens). And note: They once rescued me from a bathroom I got stuck/locked in, on the second floor of a large apartment complex. They came in by way of sirens and axes. I loved every minute of it.

     Oh, and I just remembered my encounter with a "9/11" Fireman. Whoa. It played out like a proper movie scene. I was there in NYC, less than 6 months after 9/11. I had just finished leaving an area near "Ground Zero" with my team that was helping with clean-up. There were police officers and firemen everywhere. The whole atmosphere was a bit overwhelming. My team had finished our shift for the night and we were getting ready to walk home.

     And that's when I saw him. I couldn't even fully describe him to you now, but this NYC fireman was tall and beautiful and walked with a sense of silent strength and that east coast swagger that I love. I am 100% sure my heart had a palpitation. This mystery fireman seemed like he was en route to somewhere important, and now he was about 15 feet in front of me and we locked eyes. But I kept walking with my group, trying to hide the fact that I had been struck by lightening. And then we walked passed each other. Without a word exchanged. But I looked back.

     And I found him looking right back at me.

     Hmm. Nah.

     So I walk a few more feet. And he's even further away. And I look back again.

     And I find him looking right back at me.

   



    ...And then I just kept walking...

:::

     So those memories came flooding back into my mind. And as I casually look back up at the firetruck pulling away in front of me, one particular fireman starts waving at me. I almost look behind me, but I stop myself. I keep my gaze locked on his, to ensure it's me he's waving at.

     Yes. It's me. I smile back, like an idiot. And then he blows me a kiss.

     Wow. OK. So I do the natural thing.

     I wave at him--like an idiot. Like I'm waving my long-lost lover goodbye as he goes on a train ride across the rough rails of Europe.

     But just as he finished blowing kisses at me and the firetruck had almost completely pulled away, something glimmers in the bright shining sunlight, and catches my eye...

     Oh.

     Just his wedding ring.

     Womp. Womp.

     Well, then.

     But rarely do things happen to you and I haphazardly. It wasn't until I started writing this post, that another piece of the dream came to me. Another piece of the puzzle. "A lifetime of laughter with the one I love" now coupled with the fierce bravery of a fireman.

    Today would have been a much different day, if that weird moment hadn't happened. But today wasn't about that awkward moment, is was about getting past that to remember something else. Something else vital:

Remembering my own moments of bravery and the times in which I felt the most protected and safe by someone else bravery towards me. 

     Yes. I want to be brave like a fireman. Brave.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Who in your life makes you feel safe and brave? Hang on to that one. They just might be a keeper.