Sunday, October 30, 2011
And with that said, who has listened to the new Coldplay album? What do you love about it? What don't you love about? Don't throw bricks at me just yet, but I have yet to listen to it. I have high expectations, and I'm just afraid they won't be met...
"Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you..."
Remember when I set out to write a blog each day? Yes, it was much like my New Year's Resolution. And then something happened midway through this year, I started writing a screenplay. And now I often feel that most of my brain juice is spent on that particular lovechild. Therefore, when it comes time to chatting with you lovely folks, my mind is a bit fried.
But I did want to catch you up on some things in my life. I still hope to blog like a maniac in these closing months of the year. But I'm also prepared to forgive myself if I don't fulfill my exact quota.
To kick my quota into gear, I'm about to treat this blog, much like a "Tumblr" page for the next few weeks. I'll be posting a series of photos and videos that inspire me. I'll continue to add my "Wisdom's Knocking" to the end of each post and I would still love to hear your thoughts and comments if you so desire to share.
Oh, and what's going on with me? Just my whole life finally coming into alignment with dreams and destiny. No big deal.
Great works of art take love, passion, and time.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Photo Credit: Christina Sees
With all this news of wedding engagements in the air, I wanted to address the issue of those folks that have completely surprised us all. You know what I'm talking about. If it hasn't happened to you this season or in seasons past, it will happen to you in the future.
And with that said, I don't want you to get discouraged. On the contrary, I want you to be encouraged by such a revelation.
I've recently seen with my own eyes and heard through other grapevine vineyards of specific individuals, who we once thought un-relational in the truest form of the word. And here they are: Engaged to be married.
I mean, if that person can get married, surely God has someone for you and I. --I'm just sayin'.
Like a doppelgänger, you have a match out there. Trust.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Photo Credit: Kaitlyn Blosser
I'm watching an interesting documentary right now, and I'm mostly fascinated with the speech and vocabulary of each character. It got me thinking...When did we start speaking like grown-ups, like true adults?
I've realized that my vocabulary now includes words like: Dichotomy, Sustainable, Juxtaposed, Commitment, Boo, Sweet Pea, and other Adult Words. And let's be clear, by Adult Words, I'm not including or talking about colorful cussing. We all know that you don't have to be an adult to know and exercise such vocabulary.
I'm simply talking about that moment we've transitioned from adolescence to adulthood in the way in which we speak to one another.
And although most of us still feel like awkward teenagers, there's something in our speech that would stress otherwise. But what does it mean to talk like an adult? Perhaps one that speaks from a temperament of patience and wisdom, comfortable in one's own skin, void of pretention, open to critique, and humble at heart. Perhaps this is what our speech is transitioning towards as we include more Adult words. But it may not be the case for everyone.
Which begs the question: Are we talking more like adults or hurt children?
Adult: "A person who is fully grown or developed".
Credit: Google Dictionary
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I'm a freelancer. Which simply translates to the beautiful fact that I do not subscribe to 9-5 job. I'm free to be an artist, a mentor, a writer, a director, a dancer, etc. Doesn't it all sound romantic. Indeed it is.
But let me also paint another side to this portrait. I'm a hustler.
If anyone tells you that being a freelancer is easy, they are on some serious 1985 cocaine.
Being a freelancer is not for the faint of heart. It takes a person of ridiculous, crazy, and often stupid-looking faith to walk out this career path successfully.
It takes discipline and moxie. And it takes vision and drive. And it always, and I mean always entails the virtue of humility.
As one decides to pursue one's dream whole-heartedly, there will be great sacrifice. For me, it came in the form of my residence.
In order for me to successfully pay off student loans from film school (Think "Mortgage Payment" and then double that), to not have a typical work schedule, and to follow the dreams God placed in my heart, I made my permanent residence back at my parent's home a few years back. What? Yes, after living on my own for 10 years in the Los Angeles area, I trekked it back home (Which is still fairly close for work and such). At first I was so ashamed. But now, I'm incredibly grateful.
But let me tell you. As a freelancer, there are those seasons where you feel like completely throwing in the towel. Often times it's "Feast or Famine", which can swing you in all kinds of directions emotionally. I recently had one of my "Famine" seasons. There just wasn't enough money to go around. And I had run out of my hustler strategies. I cried. And cried some more. And then I went to the library.
I needed a new strategy.
Apparently I wasn't the only one. Go visit your local library, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about after being there for 10 minutes.
So I go to the library, completely broke, but I find some great books on financial budgeting, etc. So I go to check out my books, and I discover that I had been framed. A book I had returned months prior in the outside "Return Bin", had been mysteriously misplaced (AKA "Missing") and my library card was temporarily suspended and now I had a nice charge for a book I didn't even get to own. I couldn't even get a free book from the library.
Yes. I cried some more. In the library. Next to the homeless man talking to himself.
But the librarian had mercy on me and allowed me to check out my books.
And today, I just booked a gig for the month of December through January. Praise!
And I'm still steady working in October and November. Not fully enough to cover all my bills, but definitely enough to get things crackin'.
With that said, I'll continue to be diligent with my financial budgeting and persistently believe that the best is yet to come. I'll continue pursuing my writing, my T.V. production freelancing, my mentoring of teenagers, and naps in the middle of the day.
And to you my fellow dreamer: I know I have painted a bit of a scary picture. But I want you to know that I am more fulfilled than I have ever been in my life. And I didn't have to do this all alone. And neither will you.
I have been surrounded by a beautiful community of artists that are walking out a similar journey to my own in their respective fields of music, photography, dance, fashion, business, life coaching, filmmaking, etc. And we continue to encourage one another when the pendulum swings in a direction we weren't necessarily prepared for.
So, don't get discouraged if your artist's journey is looking more like a Broke Down Palace situation. I have full confidence that God will bring you through. And surprise and delight you along the way.
But what we lack is far less meaningful than what we've already gained.
So maybe you don't see complete and utter darkness. But somehow, your vision is still askew. It's like you're wearing an eye patch. But funny thing is, you don't even need an eye patch. So why wear one? It looks cool? It feels comforting? Everyone is wearing one? Yeah. That seems to be the trend these days.
Is life is too scary to live with both eyes open?
Too many questions? Would you like another eye patch? No? Because that would make you feel blind? But you are almost blind as it is. No? It's not the same thing. Yes. You're right. I'm wrong.
But at least I'm not wearing an eye patch that I don't need.
Instead, I'll stick with my View-Master.
You won't need an eye patch forever.
Photo Credit: Daniella Hovsepian
So I was at church a few weeks back and there he was. The guy with the wandering eye. You know who I'm talking about. And if you don't, you're probably that guy.
I love how I always seem to catch people in the most awkward of settings. I usually catch people doing the funniest and most inappropriate things, and of course all when they think no one is looking. Well no one was meant to see it, but somehow I did and always do.
So this particular Sunday, I watched as one of my beautiful and attractive younger friends walked into the room. And then, unintentionally I looked to the left of her. Everyone else seemed to be distracted by this, that, and the other. But not me. I had precision timing. My timing was so perfect that I had about 3.5 interrupted seconds of seeing this guy stare betwixt, looking as if he wanted to sop her up like a biscuit or cuddle her like a kitten. I honestly couldn't tell.
Mister, did you not notice how you looked from an outside perspective? I mean, did you really think you were that slick? If you had stood there another 1.5 seconds, you would have definitely given yourself a creeper nomination.
But instead, like an old man coming out of an accidental nap while standing up, you somehow snapped out of it. You kept most of your composure and walked out of the room as if no one had seen your lapse of pimp life.
And there you have it. Just when you think no one sees. Someone does.
And if not right away. Sooner or later.
As human beings, we are far more readable than we'd like to believe.
Friday, October 07, 2011
It's been a while since I've engaged with you. There has been a heavy steel weight of things floating and landing in the atmosphere. Certain unfinished business has been declared finished, but not in the way in which I imagined them to be finished. And before you get scared. No, I am not turning my back on my blog. But other creative endeavors have been fully shut down in the last week.
Noted, as one door closes another is swift to open. Wait. Perhaps I have been a bit to liberal with my use of the word "swift". Rather, when one door closes, another door is sure to open--but when that door is to open, no one seems to quite know with strong certainty.
But let me not talk around events. Let me point you to the direct problem in this scenario and chain of events: ME
I have come face to face with my own hypocrisy. And not only did I face it, I saw the chain of events that led to hurting another individual involved in my creative endeavor. For over a year, we all, as a collaborative team, worked for the better good of a specific artistic vision.
And I, through my own negligence and pride let everyone, including myself down.
Oh, how we ought to not think too highly of ourselves, for as surely as such false heights are attained, it will transfer into the speed of one's own deception and fall.
How do you right such a wrong?
First, take responsibility for it. Don't do the classic "Hot Potato" act and blame it on everyone else. Secondly, "Get Low". No, not the dance move, but an act of the heart. It's time to eat some "Humble Pie". In my case, I honestly took some time to share with others (Trusted Friends) the big mistake I had made and the great act of hypocrisy I had committed (Including my deep embarrassment). Afterwards, I prayed for strength and grace. And then I confronted the offended person via an email response.
It was not my attempt to get back on this particular project. But to stop perpetuating my own self righteousness and allow true Love to reign in this situation.
Are there ways in which you are leading a hypocritical life? What are the two different messages you are sending? Who has been affected by your hypocrisy? You may think no one, especially if such conflicting actions happened behind closed doors. But if those doors happened to be opened, who then would be hurt by such actions?
It's time to face our music. And the symphony we are truly creating. Not just that in which we present to people.
The "Hypocrite" in our stories is always someone else. For the most part, we are never the antagonist in our own stories. But if that story was being told from a different point of view, you may discover that your arc was far less complimentary than first perceived.
So yes, this has all been incredibly painful. And the aroma of what I did will always linger a little bit in the atmosphere of that person's heart.
But I also hold Hope close by. It is when things are truly recognized as out of my control that I can rest. I can't change the situation now. I cannot force a memory or an incident to be forgotten. But I have taken responsibility for my actions, and I have eaten some Humble Pie. Now I leave the rest to love and time. To do those things in which I cannot do. Completely heal and progress everyone involved, including myself.
In matters of life and love, stay close to humility.