Consolation Prize

     Consolation Prize:

n. A prize given to a competitor who loses or does not win the first prize.

n. (Group Games / Games, other than specified) a prize given to console a loser of a game.

     For instance, if you were competing to win a 2 week vacation for 4 to the Caribbean, but lost on a game show, your consolation prize might be something like luggage from one of the sponsors of the game show. 

     A prize to ease the blow...of losing.

     So yes. That's what my life has felt like this week.

     I had so much anticipation built up in my heart over these last few months.

     You know how that is. We've just mustered up enough strength and hope to believe that something good is unfolding. And in fact, the beginnings of something beautiful begin to sprout...

     But now I know more than ever….The road to winning prizes is rocky.

     2012 has taught me this well.

      Remember when I blogged about me sensing someone--not just someone…but an amazing, beautiful, and wonderful man coming into my life. A someone that I actually had a dream about over a year ago…Well, that someone arrived….

     It took me about a month to get out of the stupor of seeing this person outside of the dream I had of him almost a year ago.

     And I, with my keen sense of deduction, I simply knew this person would be the grand prize of sorts. 

      I thought it was finally time to ring the bells.

      And just as I settled into the idea of being in his arms--

      I was handed a consolation prize. Not crackers, more like a box of chocolates.

     "Sorry kid, and thanks for playing."

     You never expect that.

      At least not that fast.

      But when it comes, you just shake the necessary hands and smile for the cameras.

     I look down at my hand. "You mean, you didn't put a ring on my finger?"

     "No dear. Now can you please exit stage left. Thank you."

      And that was that. 

      Questions arise. As they should. But the answers seem to be a bit more elusive. My ears keep ringing. Or is it my heart? It's probably both. The reverb of a huge sting ripples down to my toes.

      I wish…I wish….I wish I could stop collecting consolation prizes.

      Sometimes you just want to be held. 

      Held as a winner.

      A winner of the grand prize.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains... My advice is : "Go outside, to the fields, enjoy nature and the sunshine, go out and try to recapture happiness in yourself and in God. Think of all the beauty that's still left in and around you and be happy!" --Anne Frank

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