Open Season

     

     I once wrote an open love letter to my future husband.

     I know. Not a surprise.

     But don't throw too much shade, you know you're just as much of a romantic as I am.

     With that said, next month, I'm going to travel across the country to support one of my besties in the beginning of what I believe will be her very own unique and extraordinary love story unfolding.

     The atmosphere is pregnant with promises about to be fulfilled.

     And honestly, I'm getting so much of my life, vicariously living through her--and the way in which this man-person is intentionally pursuing her.

     The wait has been so long.

     But now the fruit is actually ripe.

     This is an open season of discovery.

     For not only her, but for you and I as well.

     Somehow, I feel as though I'm starting afresh.

     I feel as though new hope has arrived in my heart. Finally. And once again.

     And not merely in part because of time passing, but the reality and richness of love in my life as it stands now.

     An odd thing has been happening these last few weeks.

     Three separate people have dreamed about me---

     Okay. Let's stop there.

     Wait. What?

      But true story. These 3 people (1 of whom the other 2 do not even know...) on separate occasions told me of the unique dreams that they had of me over the course of the last few weeks.

     I was a bit blown away. And feeling incredibly loved.

     Most of you know, I'm a big time dreamer. #punintened

     Yes, in the big scheme of things type of way, but also in the night-time type of way.

     You know, that weird and wacky "dreaming-of-things-before-they-happen" sort of way. This has been happening to me since I was about 5 years old. But we can talk more about that later...

     So these 3 dreams that 3 separate people had of me, were basically complimentary repetitions of one another. With themes such as love, marriage, ministry, career, and more love...

     But what was more incredible to me, is that their dreams weren't off base or somehow a surprise to me. But in fact, their individual dreams brought specific confirmation to what I had already known and felt God was whispering to my own soul at the beginning of this year.

     And so goes my life....the reality and richness of love in my life as it stands now, shakes me out of the ever-so attractive apathy of our day and our culture and our often sterile religious ways of doing things.

     I'm forced to pay attention.

     Almost always.

     Thus the tedious work of writing.

Video Link: Josef Salvat, "Open Season": 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOkdkSIgu3Q

     And while walking with my beautiful friend alongside the spectacular and terrifying road of romance, I'm being reminded that God can cause a "suddenly" to happen in our lives at any moment.

     A suddenly that ushers in the very substance of what our hearts have been wanting and waiting for, but a heart that needed time to understand and appreciate the intricacies of such a divine miracle.

     Eyes are being opened.

     Hearts are getting free.

     The month of March is going to be amazing.



     It's Open Season, and anything can happen...

Wisdom's Knocking:

"We used to have it all planned.

We thought we knew what it all looked like.

We were looking out on the greatest view.

We were raised to take a stand.

We were raised to keep an open mind.

We believed we'd just sail on through.

Now I'm a hundred miles an hour,

Sitting in my palace without any power,

Alone in the dark,

We're alone in the dark

Thought we could always try a bit harder,

But if the dice don't wanna roll in your favor

It falls apart, the fantasy falls apart

This is open season,

Time is up, time to be leaving,

Head on down this very arbitrary road

Armor up, and say your prayers,

From under dogs and millionaires,

I heard you're better off on your own,

But I ain't gonna face this hunt alone

So I'll be needing you

And I know you'll be needing me too

We're in this game together

We're in this game together

And I believe in you

And I know you believe in me too,

We're in this game together

We're in this game together"

-- Josef Salvat, "Open Season"

Love

     How will you know it's right, when it happens for you? They always say you'll "Just know". Well, I think I'm gaining some clues and insight...

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Love spurs us on to be the best and truest version of ourselves." 

Guest Post: "Know You, Love You, and Be You"

     I started dating late in life. I joke I had the understanding of a 16 year old but a body of
a 25 year old. Needless to say I learned a hard lesson on how nothing good happens
after midnight. I got wrapped in a relationship without commitment and once a soul tie
was made, I lost “me” along the way. It's been a long journey that I'm still walking out
but who I am today is more gracious, loving and fearless because I've allowed myself
the grace to accept all the good, the bad and ugly.

     Here's some nuggets I've learned along my “34 year” way.

     Know you, Be you and Love you.

     You have to know who you are before you can know who you are in a relationship.
You have to be you in all your quirkiness and give them the permission to love you
just as you are. You have to truly love yourself with all your junk knowing you are a
beautiful work in progress. Being authentic with yourself gives you a healthy ability to
grow and just BE in a relationship. If you like doors to be opened don't apologize for
it, just give them grace to learn but stand your ground. If hanging with your bros is
important then stay true to that while respecting the time and needs of your girl. I am
a true believer in making what's important to them important to you but make sure you
don't lose “you” along the way. Having self-respect is one of the greatest gifts you can
give yourself and it starts with loving your beautiful, messy, honest, (sometimes) crazy,
adorable, loveable self.

    Shame is a prison but you have the keys.

     If you have gone places in the past that has brought you shame, Let It Go! Shame is
an awful thing that paralysis you from your potential. It makes you seem small when
really you are strong, able, vivacious and free. Shame defines you as “less than”,
Grace defines you with respect, honor, and worth. What you do might shape you but
it doesn't define you. Don't allow shame to steal a minute, a day, a year of your life.
Acceptance of what was and the ability to set it free will give you grace to lift up your
head in dignity and receive the love that is for you. No good comes from shame.

     What is for you will not pass you by.

     I have been trapped by fear that “IT” may never come unless I work at “it” and make
“it” happen. If I pray a little harder, dream a little bigger, focus more intently it will
suddenly manifest. But as cliché as it sounds when you least expect it, that is when
it happens. Shifting your attention off the thing is not only healthy but helpful. I think
when we want something so bad we send out this needy energy that can come across
as “too much” and unattractive. You might not say I'm desperate with your words but
it's oozing from your very being. The best way to combat “desperato-ville” is to take
your energy off “when will it come” and put it on “who you will be when it does”. I truly
believe that the right (un-perfect) but perfect for you person will come and the best
is to rest in that fact. Find new hobbies, live full adventures, make memories with the
best human beings you've surrounded yourself with and when your person comes they
will be a beautiful addition to a full life that already exist.

     You are enough. You're growing, learning, being and trusting. You are in the right
place. Shake off what was and set your soul free. Lift up your eyes and hold on to
hope. It will happen. Don't sweat it, control it, fear it or force it. Rest in the fact it WILL
come to pass and be okay that there is nothing you can do about it.

###

     Kristen Joy Hilyard is a Texas based designer that over the last few years has stepped into her role as a life stylist expert. Through life experience, schooling, creativity, intuition and culture she has grown as an artist and recently launched her business 33Perspective. 

    33Perspective marries her passion for design with her desire to impact pertinent issues related to violence, isolation, and re-imagining one’s life. Each of her pieces are hand design and crafted with intention. 

     Whether stamped, beaded, sculpted or found, they are inspired with herself and others in mind. Her varied experience and influence in the entertainment industry includes the lead role in a short independent film, featured in local and national commercials, and several news segments on Fox News, Great Day Houston, Mirror Mirror, and as a co-host on a political talk show on CNN 650 Radio News. 

     Bohemian in style she frequently sports a sparkle headband with her blonde beach waves and will break out in song at any moment of the day. Spontaneous dancing usually follows…if you are lucky enough to be in her proximity, you will find yourself somewhere in her twirl. Her desire is to connect with the human spirit, and listen and decipher the intentions and hearts of all who visit her future talk show.

You can find out more about Kristen Hilyard here:  http://www.kristenjoy.com/

How to Heal From a Broken Heart

     

     In many ways it seemed doomed from the beginning. But he was cheeky. He was hot. And he wanted me. Three of my favorite traits in a man.

     I ignored the still small voice telling me to just walk away. I was hard-headed, stubborn, and I needed wanted to see this thing through somehow. You know, when you just want to see how the movie ends for yourself. And sometimes, no amount of sage advice can steer your course otherwise.

     But be prepared, because experience is an often cruel professor.

     I knew I was taking a risk, I knew that if I ignored the gentle voice of caution for too long, there was going to be a crash and burn. We were like fire, he and I.

     With him, there were a lot of firsts --first dates by the pier, first embraces under the stars, first kisses on the hillside...and lots of laughs and silliness.

     Oh, how I wanted to be hopeful.

     And then the day finally happened when I chose to give my heart over, knowing that it wasn't completely in safe hands. "But if only I give him more time to change, we'd be happier--I'd be happier."

     Pause.

     See that was my flaw.

     Waiting to get happy, instead of already being happy.

     And my second flaw:

     Trying to change a man.

     Ladies & Gentlemen:

     We do not change people. We do not control people. And what you see is often what you get.

     And any change or control that you have manipulated or forced onto someone's life, is often an illusion and won't be sustained for the long term.

     If there is any changing to be had, let God author it in their lives. The chances of  that change being sustained is far greater.

     "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou

     That goes for both the good and bad...

     And then we crashed and burned.

     He cheated and now there was a baby involved. Hers.

     And I spent my nights crying and heaving and crying some more. My heart was utterly and sincerely broken. That was brand new and all kinds of awful for me.

     My tender heart was now thorny and raw.

     So this is what they meant when they talked of a broken heart.

     But I didn't want to look gray, nor did I want to feel like it for the rest of my life.

     And slowly, weeks and months pass, a letter comes from him. Sincere and apologetic, but expressed everything that I had already known beforehand. We were never truly meant to be together.

     And the second blow of heart break pounds my chest, sending reverberations like questions in a mathematician's mind. Why did it all have to figure out like this?

     But replaying and asking questions that were neither here nor there, wouldn't lead me to what I was lacking in the first place, a mature understanding love.

     And then the days became weeks, and the weeks became months and so on, and so forth.

     And my brokenness would soon lead to relief, freedom, and renewed hope.

     Healing came. And so did love.



     And now, I'm so grateful to share with you How I Healed From A Broken Heart: 


Forgive:

     This was honestly my very first step. I didn't feel any emotion when I did it in my bedroom by myself, but it was important to get the words out and let my heart follow suit when it was ready.

     Forgiveness is not about excusing or justifying the behavior that this person did to you, but instead, forgiveness sets you free from carrying the burden of hatred. Which by the way takes up far more energy than you would believe!


Talk it Out:

     Having 1 or 2 key people that you can simply share your heart with is key. These are the folks that will just listen and not try to figure everything out for you. And once you're done talking it out. Then talk it out again.

     Each time you talk it out, ask yourself what you're learning about your own heart from the words that you are sharing.

Release & Pray:

     There's so many times when we just don't understand. Why? Why? Why?

     And when it comes to the many layers of a broken heart, one must be prepared to truly release the pain and give it over to God.

    You may find yourself grabbing the pain back once in a while, simply because it was your comfort tool, but just keep releasing. It will be worth it.

Connect/Re-Connect With Those Things You Loved to Do:

     Do you remember you? If not, you're about to go on a journey of recollection and discovery.

     In fact, we all are discovering --what's been there in us, what's still there in us,  and what will continue to be there in our hearts.


And Believe for Better:

     If you can't begin to believe, see, or agree for something hopeful, you'll most likely not recognize or walk away from a truly hopeful adventure and go back into the arms of your painful past cycles.

     Much like how an abused woman will often find/attract another abuser until she starts to believe that she truly is worth more and deserves better.

     You heart is worth so much more than you know. And there's someone out there that truly knows this to be a fact as well as a gift they want to cherish.

     And the first someone who should embrace this revelation... is yourself.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, 

and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. 

I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.” 

 ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Lots and Lots of Dates, Etc.

     

     I've been in a date drought of sorts, since well...................................

     Okay. You get the picture.

     But I have a feeling the flood gates are about to be released.

     I have this sneaky feeling that I'm gonna be hit up all at once.

     "Can I have your number...Can I have it?....Can I have it? Can have it?

     ...Can I have it?"


     I know. These are honestly the things that I envision in my brilliant imagination. At that very moment, I'm not devising how I could go out and create more peace on the planet, or how to provide solutions amidst a poverty stricken world.

     No, instead, I'm having full blown conversations, meetings and faux dates happen in my mind with invisible people that I have yet to see in real life.

     But I can't quite shake this feeling that I'm going to have to make deliberate choices in the near future. And isn't that what we all avoid? Making choices on purpose. Because then, we'd have to own and take full responsibility for our choices, and there's a part of me that is actually like Peter Pan. There's a part of me that wants to cling to the past, to the past comforts and ways of doing things.

     But here comes the new with all its shiny and all its glimmer, but if you read the fine print, it will plainly tell you, that a big mountain of surrender must be conquered before walking into the land of the new.

     Um. What.

     Didn't I just do this?

     Great. Facing fears. My favorite.

     Nope.

     But I do kinda want what's on the other side. I at least want to have a fair peek at it.

     Oh.

     Oh, shoot.

     That looks like my Land of Milk and Honey.

     But of course there's a dragon and a moat in the chasm between us.

     So I'm trying to muster up enough...something, to just lay down. To be at rest with all that's been presented to me.

     I thought we were just talking about dates in this blog post, but clearly I'm beginning to talk about more than that.

     Being open and ready. That's a big deal for me. And coming into a deeper place of surrender. If I'm honest with you, I'm still fighting it... It's just...I don't want to get burned. And I don't want to be the burner unintentionally. But choices still must be made.

     Ready and Willing to make good and powerful choices = Preparation for Milk and Honey.

     I'm almost there, I'm almost there...

Wisdom's Knocking: 

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

He leads me beside quiet waters, 

He refreshes my soul. 

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, 

I will fear no evil, for you are with me; 

your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

-Psalm 23: 1-4

The Lingering Crush

     

     For once, I'm not in that frantic mindset, where you keep replaying fake scenes in your mind of having a conversation with the person you have a crush on, and somehow in this made-up scenario, that deep soul satisfying conversation quickly turns into a sweet embrace and then possibly the best kiss you may have ever had in your entire life. But then you pull yourself out of this ridiculous daydream, not simply from a deep sense of conviction and a need for repentance, but because said person happens to be standing in front of you asking a question.

     Crushes are exhausting.

     I mean, why do they feel like they suck the life out of you.

     I'm convinced because its like a romance mind game of chess. You keep trying to predict your opponents every move and your necessary or probable counter moves. Of which, you never get to use a majority of your moves, because progress between you and said crush either never really escalate or they are actually making basketball plays and you realize you've been prepping for the wrong game all along.

     I know. No one prepared you for crushes.

     And no one tells us that those suckers don't go away easily.

     I mean, it may have taken a hot second for you to fall head over heels for this person, but by goodness their memory is forever imprinted on your mind.

     But this year, I want you to be open to love like you've never been open before.

     I felt it important to write to those of you that have had a lingering person of comparison on your mind. The one who has become the romantic standard in your life.

     Now look, I'm all about standards and knowing your worth. But when a standard prevents you from moving forward, chances are it's not just a standard, but has become a comfortable place of fear.

     What do I mean by a comfortable place of fear?

     Well as long as no one looks like or acts exactly like your former crush, you feel no need to open your heart or move forward in love. You stand still. Or as I like to see it, you stay stuck.

     I've said this many times, but often romantic love surprises us and doesn't always look like we previously imagined. Now that doesn't mean that your boo is going to look hideous or that you two won't have essential things in common, it simply means, you just might be pleasantly surprised who you open up your life to.

     So be open.

     And don't let the woulda been, coulda been, shoulda been story continue to play in your mind. Let go, and get ready to receive afresh.

Wisdom's Knocking:

“One can begin so many things with a new person! - even begin to be a better man.” 

 ― George Eliot, Middlemarch

Labels, Titles, and Love

     

Brent Van Auken Photography

     So do labels in love matter to you? Whether being called boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiance, etc.?

     I've learned that some people have elevated beyond such titles, and I'm truly fascinated. And by fascinated, I mean confused.

     I know that we can go down the philosophy of semantics ("The branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning" -- or as I like to say in layman's terms, the meaning of words), but I don't think I'm that smart yet, and I'm already feeling sleepy just thinking about it.

     But for me labels do hold meaning, especially in relationships. Naming and defining something, is like taking pride in something, like being proud to associate yourself with something or someone specific. It differentiates your role and place in my life, amidst the other billions of people on this planet whom I may or may not ever come in contact with. I'll say that again. A label or a title differentiates--makes known publicly, your special role and place in my life, amidst the other people in my life, which is unlike (and purposefully so) any other relationship and friendship I have.

     Labels and titles are powerful.

    And yes, we are keenly aware of the negative effects of labels and how one might feel boxed in and even overwhelmed. But that's not my concentration right now. I'm strictly looking at the beauty and freedom of having a safe haven and a platform to express love and relationship within the landscape of a well-thought out label. And for women, to feel safe, does our hearts good. And for men, to be given something of value to protect is powerful.

     I've also observed the similarities of a label to our own personal names.

     And sure, I know that there are other Patrice's out there in the planet. And yes, I do get a little jealous when I hear someone else has my name. It's because, my name has been marked out for me, it carries legacy in this intangible away. It's how I know that someone is talking to me in a conversation, that someone is directing their efforts and love toward me--specifically.

     Therefore, if you simply called out to me, "Hey you--girl. Yeah, you, person." I'd somehow feel demeaned, because you didn't call me by my name - which is something specific and has meaning to me, to my heart, to my lineage, to my stories.

     My stories are connected to my name and I'm reminded of that every time someone says "Patrice". I'm affirmed, I'm seen, and recognized.

     In matters of love, I'm of the camp that believes titles are necessary in romantic relationships, for the benefit of the man and woman.

     Life is messy, as we all know, but its interesting to me that in midst, we are able to roam free in love, feel freedom and safety while actually being aware of our boundaries (And standards) not because of the lack of them.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"We [Men] love you, but how we demonstrate that love is what I call the 

Three Ps of love: We profess, we provide and we protect. 

 That is how a man — if he loves you — this is how you can tell he loves you: He provides for you. Whatever his economic structure is, he provides for you and he will give you whatever he can. 

He will profess. If you have been dating a guy for six months, he has a title for you. If after six months, he is still calling you a friend, he has no plans for you. It doesn’t take us six months to figure out if you are the one. We are just not that difficult. We are simple people. 

 The last P is protect. He will let nothing happen to you within his means. A man loves in threes, if he tells you he loves you, but he doesn’t protect or provide for you, he is just telling you what you want to hear to get what he wants. He doesn’t really love you."

-Steve Harvey

Credits: Google Dictionary

5 Ways to Know You've Been Single Too Long

1. You Can't Remember the Last Time You Had a Proper Date

Or perhaps you refer to a date or a relationship as "Going Steady" of which I'm here to kindly tell you no one uses that phrase anymore, well not since 1987 and only on special occasions.

But really though. When was your last date. When did someone ask to take you out, make plans, pick you up, and Ladies: Where he pays your entire way -- yes, I'm about THAT Life. #unapologetic

When did someone say to you, "I'd love to get to know you better."

Whoa. Did you see that? That was intentionality right there. So let me back up, when was the last time someone was romantically intentional with you and I don't mean just for sexual gratification, I mean, like on that level where they want to know how your mind works and how God made your soul. Yeah, I just went there.

If you can't recall or this has never happened to you, you may have been single too long...



2. Your Parents Stop Asking for Grandchildren 

My parents regarded education as a must and a priority while I was growing up. Boys would have to wait. My mom assured me that boys would always be there. I'd have plenty of time for that stuff in college or after college. But until then, "You ain't got time for no boyfriends."

And then college came.

And then college went.

And I could tell that my mom was now starting to get nervous. It was that look of nervousness I had in high school when I thought I'd never ever have a boyfriend. Oh, how the tables turn.

And then my mid-twenties came. And friends were getting married left and right, and babies were popping out everywhere. I mean everywhere. And folks would joke with me about me being next.

And I could see my mom on the sideline, "Please, Lord Jesus."

Fast forward to family gatherings in my late twenties. Still with no boyfriend in sight, the topic itself was the white elephant in the room. And occasionally, in gentle subtle ways, my mom would mention her future grandchildren to me, you know, how she would just like to see them. No big whoop.

But now, I'm 33 and when my mom and I hear of another 23 year old getting married and having a beautiful baby 2 years later, there's simply a deafening silent hush that envelopes the room.

If you have a similar story, you may have been single for too long...


3. While Watching the Romantic Bits of a Disney Cartoon You Find Salty Tears Making Their Way Down Your Cheek.

I've found that I've become way more sensitive while watching the most mild mannered love stories. Whether it be a cartoon or a Hallmark movie, I find myself almost overly connecting to the prospect of romance in a storyline.

Perhaps this is an upside, a blessing in disguise. The little things, like holding someone's hand, being held, a soft kiss, now hold far more weight than they ever have before. They now possess a type of beauty that I honestly never noticed before. And my heart is truly moved. Whereas for others, their hearts may be stoic and desensitized to such small and almost trivial looking actions.

But at the same time, I'm constantly like a teenager, enthralled with the visual of romantic love (And again I'm not talking about sex here, I'm actually talking about storyline--the journey of getting to love) and it has the potential to become a weird emotional crutch if I'm not careful.

So if you too, find yourself overly emotional while watching rom-coms, Disney cartoons ("Aladdin", anyone?!), and every Hallmark Channel Movie, you may have been single for too long...



4. You Send Yourself Flowers and Love Notes, and Not Just on Valentine's Day. 

I often look in the mirror and tell myself how amazingly beautiful I am or how hot I am. #realtalk

Look, my reasoning, is that my man is not currently having the honor of seeing me on a day to day as I bring my A-game. And yes, I do know how to bring A-game in case you were wondering. And as I've said before, I may be single, but this is not the year of ugliness. Trust.

But sometimes, I take it further. Often I like to treat myself. And you might find me picking fresh flowers and putting them in the vase next to my bed.

And yes, sometimes, I also write little hearts in my journal or to-do list. And inside those hearts, I'll write something like: "You're Lovely", "Why you so fine?", you know, things like that.

Those are my versions of romantic sentiments to myself.

I don't think I've gone completely off the deep end yet.

Hey, at least I'm not saying that my flowers and notes are from my invisible boyfriend Fred. When I start talking about Fred, someone needs to organize an intervention.

So if you tell friends that your brand new pair of shoes or those dozens of roses we saw at your desk are from Fred (or Ginger), you may have been single for too long...



5.  If Someone Does One Nice Deed for You, You Are Ready to Make-Out with Them on the Spot.

Look, if you approach me at the right time in life, I might just fall in love with you. These are the times:

• Sunday Morning. If you see me struggling to set up for my youth group and offer to help me carry some equipment in and set up. You can bet that I will be prayerfully considering you for marriage. #couldthisbeyourwillGod

• When I'm Traveling on A Plane. If you help me put my heavy carry-on luggage in that over head bin thingy. AND if you help me take my heavy carry-on luggage down. It's guaranteed that I'll want to give you a hug. And possibly even my number, IF you're single. #dontgetittwisted

• Our First Meeting. If you shake my hand firmly with great eye contact, a warm smile and some smiling eyes, I'm done for. #letthecrushcommence

And with that said, I know my limits. Thankfully, I'm not always like this. Not always...

The kids like to simply call this mindset and its subsequent actions as Actin' Thirsty.

So, if you are actin mega thirsty around the opposite sex, chances are you've been single too long...

What are some other ways you know YOU'VE been single too long?? I know I'm not the only one with expertise in this area. Feel free to put your additions in the comments below:

Mr. Chivalry and Mademoiselle Lady

Photo Credit: Tiffany Johnson
     

     I read an article yesterday talking about the decline of chivalry in our day and age.

     You and I both know this argument has been going on for some time now and I must agree, chivalry looks as though it's dying out, but I have news to tell you. It's not dead.

     In the article, it talks about how a majority of men choose not to open a door for a lady or help her with her luggage at the airport because they feel as though she would be offended by the very act. And not just that, but that they would be insinuating that she is 'less than' in some way. With that said, many men have opted to play it safe in hopes of not rocking the boat in their daily encounters with women.

     Hmm.

     If you are a man and reading this, first, I want to say thank you. You're a brave one. Next, I want you to know that being chivalrous is probably one of thee sexiest and most honorable things you could ever do for a woman. I mean that. You are in no way being patronizing. In fact, you are tangibly expressing your heartfelt honor for a woman in an often small, yet profound way.

     And you're not simply saying something about how you are discerning the value of the woman in your company, you are blatantly showing the woman something about your own heart and character. That you are a man that understands the ways of kindness, of honor, and the power and beauty of simplicity. Plus, you'll reap what you sow, eventually. Because even if the one woman you hold the door open for gives you stank face, 10 other women after her will give you a smile that'll make your day, and you'll find yourself reaping some other unexpected blessings in other areas of your life.

     Now let me make a quick distinction between being Chivalrous and being Pompous.

Chivalry protects // Pompous disregards
Chivalry is giving // Pompous is about personal ego
Chivalry is attractive // Pompous is revolting

     Point Blank: True Chivalry is selfless and Pompous is selfish.

     Yes, women disdain men that are simply doing nice things for them to reap some sort of benefit. No one wants to be used. But see, that's the beauty of real chivalry, it's not about what you can gain, but rather, what you can give.

     Our culture has lost the ability to truly trust. Everyone is a potential perp. Thanks C.S.I. and Law and Order. And yes, I find myself under this spell often. I often think every guy walking the streets is a potential cray-cray stalker, and I flash a quick suspicious eye if a man tries to help me do something, even if I do need the help.

     But there are still men out there that know things....

     They pay attention.

     These men already see the single mom struggling to come down the small plane aisle with 2 oversized bags in her hand and a toddler on her hip. And instead of trying to avoid eye contact with the woman, they immediately (without waiting for someone else to do it) stand up to help get the woman and her bags to her seat.

     Chivalry.

     And there's the man that is walking into your favorite coffee shop and holds the door open for you and he then goes about his business.

     Chivalry.

And then there's the young man that is nervous about his first date with the girl of his dreams. He gets to her house, gets out of the car (Doesn't just honk for her or text her he's outside), greets her at the door, walks her back to the car and opens the door for her, waits until she's comfortably seated and then closes her door.

     Chivalry.

     And then there's your solid guy friend that somehow when you guys are walking the streets of the city, he always makes sure that he's on the outer edge of the sidewalk as you both stroll, to simply protect you from the dangers of the cars on the street.

     Chivalry.


     Now ladies, let me share with you our role in all of this.

     Stop pretending that you don't need help with anything, ever. Seriously. I.mean.it.

     It's okay to admit that you need help.

     And I love my independent women. Seriously. But a prideful passive aggressive woman--well that's another story. Because in the end, these women end up resenting men for not being men in their lives. But these women never gave them a chance to be the man in their lives. Go figure.

     I know you might have trust issues. I'm the same way.

     But real talk, ask God to help you with your trust issues. He will.

     Let that man help you, let the man give of his time, his kindness, and himself to you if you're so lucky.

     Our other response ladies, in all of this, should be gratitude. If it's not gratitude, and you find yourself getting offended when a man tries to do something nice for you, please just take a beat, and ask yourself "Why did I just get offended?" The answer might surprise you.

      In any act of chivalry, big or small, please never forget to smile and say thank you. He has just put himself on the line. And as a small token of honor and respect back to the man, it's always lovely to say thank you.

     With all of that shared, I'm convinced that there's going to be a revival of chivalry in our day and age. So many men and women are tired of the current trend of things. And with good reason. We were never meant to live lives of sterile self-preservation. But instead we were meant to partake in a type of kindness that validates the human experience and points to something Greater. Including an exchange, where both the giver and the receiver get to reap the benefits.

Wisdom's Knocking:

“His attentive treatment of her had nothing to do with the presumption that she was weak, and everything to do with the conviction that she was valuable.”

--From "Once Upon a Road Trip" by Angela N. Bloun

S. R. L.

      

      I've been thinking about you.

     Wondering what it is that keeps drawing you back to my writings. I mean, this has been a bit of a self indulgent journey so far. But I've realized more so today, more than ever that I have a tribe. You're my tribe. You get me. And I get you.

     They don't know me like you do.

     I don't know what kind of day you had today. Was it mediocre? The same as yesterday. Or are you in that ever-so-common place of simply waiting for something, anything to happen.

     A moment to shake up all moments, to simply remind yourself that you are alive.

     But I discovered something today.

     You and I.

     We are alive.

     Life is happening now.

Photo Credit: Adria Elena

     "S."

     Singlehood.

     No one can escape life without it. It can be a life long season (Please Jesus...No....), or just a season to occupy your adolescence, or perhaps your latter years. But no one, no one can escape the grip of singlehood. At some point, you and yourself have to face things, wrestle things out on your own, bring your lonely and timid heart to God without fanfare without prodding. Everyone gets their chance. I don't want you to be scared. Don't be scared of the pain. You'll make it through to the other side, I promise.

     I promise. There's riches to be had, even in this stage of life.

     In this blog, you've been let in on some of my biggest secrets and have walked with me in my semi-long journey of singleness in all its messiness, confusion, pain, and beauty. We've cried and laughed our way into Wisdom's arms, many, many times.

     True, my journey might not look like yours, but I know that we share similar themes.

     I once thought I was writing this blog strictly to a group of girls in their mid 20s to mid 40s. But I was grossly mistaken.

     The feedback I now get from my blog comes from men and women alike, ranging in ages from 17-65.

     And what is the common thread here? Obstacles and learning how to overcome? Yes, partly.  But even more intimately so: We all know the shape of our own faces, the contour of our lips, the width of our necks, the placement of our ears, yet we still need a mirror in order to properly see who we really are and look like to the rest of the world.

    Yes. A mirror.

     And that is what I hope we both achieve in the presence of this blog and the writings that we exchange.

     That we would rightly see. That we would rightly know who we really are, above the lies, above the mediocrity of our circumstance, above the ridicule of others and our own minds.

     I once used to be ashamed of my singleness. Like it was leprosy. While those all around me engaged in adventurous romances which seemed to be non-existent or transient for me. I've been in countless weddings, cried at Hallmark commercials, accomplished major life goals, all while wanting the arms of my man around me. But I realize now, with such confidence, that I am not alone. I'm not the only one who has walked this path.

     And I decided through the creation of this blog, that I, in no way would sit waiting for my life to begin. My life is truly happening now. And it is vibrant, more hopeful, more cherished than it's ever been. I couldn't imagine living any other way at this point in my life.

     I can't believe I just wrote that. I mean--

     Especially because last year this time, I was crying in my mother's arms, as I could barely speak my heart's longings for my future husband boo.

    Nevertheless. God.

     There's no way at this point in my life that you could convince me that He is not real, that He is not Kind, Faithful, and Ever Present. He has been all of those things and more to me. My entire life. And yours.

      And as I continue to explore this mystery of Singlehood, I'm finding purpose and unexpected doors of blessing and love opening my way and beckoning me to walk through. I know the same will be for you.

      Regardless if you are married, dating, or single, I address this theme, this state of Singlehood in the significant and weighty way of how we are all single and naked before an all knowing and seeing God. And that we have a responsibility to love, to love others, to love ourselves and to manage our own emotions, your own personhood with Wisdom-- to see yourself and your circumstances rightly, through the lens of not just my own experiences, but through the lens of a deeply profound and loving God.

Photo Credit: Tyler Ward

    "R."

     Romance.

     Duh.

     I'm about it.

    And if you aren't, you've most likely been burned...burned very bad in a past relationship. Or your home life growing up absolutely sucked. I'm just being real.

     People that tell me that they never want to get married or be in a relationship, basically tell me, I'm too afraid to make myself vulnerable because I know the pain that can happen, if somebody does you dirty. I don't want to take that risk. I never want to hurt like that ever, ever, ever again...or at all.

     Valid.

     But fear will always be the lesser of noble choices. In fact, agreeing with fear is never a noble choice at all. Instead....well, you already know...You should agree with Love.

     When I think of Love, I think of how little kids play.

     Stick a little kid in their own backyard or a park and they can begin to create thousands of worlds of make-believe, and the most mundane thing becomes major miracles in their worlds. Their eyes are always full of awe and wonder.

     We were never meant to lose that.

     Romance is not simply being wooed, but seeing with eyes of awe and wonder. Recognizing the beauty of breathing, having eyes to see sunlight, enjoying the decadent taste of your favorite food.

     To choose love is difficult.

     To keep choosing love after you've been hurt is harder.

     But I ask you further still.

     Choose the risk.

     Choose...

     Love.

     I'm a firm believer that we were never meant to go and live life alone. But rather, connected to other human beings.

     In addition to that:

     You were made for romance. 

     For real.

     Let that sink in.

     Yes, I may be practically a spinster, but I definitely gots romance in my life. Ya heard. I'm learning more and more about how to get excited about the little things and to appreciate everything. I allow myself to get excited about little stupid things like chocolate (I take that back, chocolate is NOT stupid.) and vanilla wafers waaaaaay to much. I also allow people to love me.

     Someone who fights romance in their life at all costs will be defensive. Believe me. I know.

     But when you allow yourself to be loved, even just through kind acts, a smile from a cashier, a helping hand with your luggage on the subway, or sincere eye contact from a friend, awe and wonder are returning to your heart.

     I also allow the things that I love, to love me back. Meaning, I love to dance. So when I dance, I enjoy it. Immensely. Intentionally.

     So whether you are single, dating, or married, you are made for romance.

     It's really a multi-faceted and beautiful thing.

Photo Credit: Adria Elena

     "L."

     Life.

     What more needs to be said.

     We all live life.

     Whether you're single, dating, or married, you were made to live this life.

     We are all on this planet, making a path, sharing our stories, laughing at our old bad hair styles, and often worrying about our future.

     Our world is changing. And it's about to change even more.

     But we were given this time, to make our mark, to share our journeys, and to make new pathways for those that will walk on this planet in future years.

     The bigger picture. There is one. And you absolutely fit in.

     What piece are you exactly? What piece am I exactly?

     We're too close to the painting now.

     But in future years will see more clearly.

     But You and I.

     We are alive.

     And life is happening now.

Wisdom's Knocking:

You were meant to flourish.

Unfriended, Unfollowed = New Beginnings... And Mr. Matthew Hussey

     

Photo Credit: Joshua Anderson

     That moment you realize you have less "followers"/friends than you last remembered having. Whether it be Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

     I looked at my Instagram intently last week.

     Wait. Who just "unfollowed" me?

     We then rack our minds and do some skillful internet stalkery.

     Or maybe this only happens to me.

     Perhaps it was a misunderstanding. Perhaps their finger didn't mean to press unfollow. Technology can be tricky. Maybe they were framed...

    But often the truth is much more poignant than those excuses.

     They simply didn't want to "Follow" me anymore.

     End of sentence.

     Accept it. It's okay.

     Yes there were probably reasons behind such a move. Which may surface at another time. But until then, there's no need to be stagnant.

     Don't wallow in it.

     This could very well be a blessing in disguise. Actually....It probably is.

     And now we can gently move forward.

     Not just arbitrarily, but now in the hope of a new beginning.

    Speaking of new things...

     I'm so excited to share with you all, that my little old blog has been chosen to partner with the launch of a book by one of my favorite relationship experts, titled "Get the Guy", by the charming Matthew Hussey. It officially drops today, Tuesday, April 9th!

     One of my favorite things to do in the world is to help women fall in love! And I have such a heart for those "Ladies in Waiting"! If you've been reading this blog at all in the last 6 years, you KNOW I can relate.  Ha.

     But trust me, you're going to want to hear what Matthew has to say. I think one of the things that stood out to me regarding Matthew, wasn't just his profound and practical wisdom in the area of life, romance and how men and women communicate; but simply his heart and his message. He oozes sincerity and a humble heart, while being bold and genuine about his pursuit to help women in the area of romance.

     You can catch him in action on NBC's new dating show: Ready for Love, premiering today, April 9th, at 9|8c, after "The Voice".

     Now here's a snippet from his new book:

     But first....

     A giveaway I get to extend to you! Courtesy of Matthew Hussey's wonderful team. The first of my 30 readers to buy the print copy of "Get the Guy" (Either through Amazon or your local bookstore) will get 1 FREE "Get the Guy" tour ticket to see and hear Matthew in person! Click here to see if he'll be in a city near you!

*Note: To qualify for this giveaway, you can do 1 of 2 things.

1.  Simply leave a comment under this post letting me know that your in! And provide me with your email address before May 1st, 2013.

or...

2. Shoot me an email at puerilityvol1@gmail.com before May 1st, 2013.

     But most importantly, be sure to purchase the book (And keep that receipt ;)! Let me know what you loved about it, hated about it. What shocked you the most? What challenged you the most?

     Believe me, I'm still processing all of these insights from Matthew, as well! I'll tell you in future posts what encourages me about some of the things that Matthew says and what also irritates me about some of Matthew's advice...

     Now here's a taste of Matthew Hussey's book, "Get the Guy":
*Oh and as a courtesy note: Yes, there is some "colorful" language*

     I'm also very interested to hear feedback from some of my male readers. What are your lovely thoughts about what Matthew has to say about your species? Does it resonate? Or do you feel that it's all hogwash?

----

     And yes, I know this blog post took some weird turns that you probably didn't expect. From venting about a social media rejection to proclaiming new beginnings to introducing an in-your-face look at the ways of romance through a book I would have never considered picking up just a few years ago, simply because of the title (Almost sounding too aggressive for my dainty lady ways...), to my first online giveaway. Yep. That's just how I roll.

     But as we endeavor on this journey together--of me sharing with you my ups and downs and subsequent lessons, I truly want you to be more blessed because you took the time to read my stories. I want you to get far more out of it than either of us expect. And that's going to entail me sharing more about the people that are currently influencing and challenging my life in significant ways, and it's also going to entail me giving gifts to you. Because I simply love giving gifts.

     There's something sweet about new beginnings. The good ones usually come on the heels of a previous craptastic scenario. So be encouraged. If you're in the thick and death of things, the beauty of resurrection is soon to follow. Have your eyes and your heart open for it. In matters of life and love.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"We don't enter relationships hoping to create an extraordinary existence;
we come to them to share one with someone else."

- Matthew Hussey

I Love When Thugs Talk Marriage

When asked why he never was unfaithful to Joanne, Paul Newman famously replied, 
"Why fool around with hamburger when you have steak at home?"

     Why do I love them thugs?

     And why, must I occasionally fall for them playas. Someone who's chasing the next pretty young thang. I thought I was through with this phase in high school.

     Nope.

     Turns out, men often stay 18 years old in the mind.

     No. Not all men.

     Just most.

     Okay. That was Bitter Betty talking.

     Let me pull back.

     But mostly, I want a man that is a thug, has a few tattoos, rough around the edges, but loves Jesus, has legit integrity, is generous, intelligent, tells me my Pinterest page is inspiring, has great style, supports my dreams, and has the heart of a teddy bear. Oh, is hot, my bestie, and can make me laugh.

     But now I mostly sound like a "Consumer".  Like my future boo is simply meant to be a product that can best serve me...you know, until the warranty runs out. Or something like that.

     Instead of looking at how my future boo will be a gift and miraculously used in the sanctification plans of God's heart for me.

     I know. I just got deep.

     But truly, marriage is not meant to be simply a "Self-serving" product, with its value placed solely on my own happiness.

     Wait. What?

     What the heck have I been expecting these past years?

     Needless to say, in 2013, I'll be reading Timothy Keller's book: The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

“In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. That means that love is more fundamentally action than emotion. But in talking this way, there is a danger of falling into the opposite error that characterized many ancient and traditional societies. It is possible to see marriage as merely a social transaction, a way of doing your duty to family, tribe and society. Traditional societies made the family the ultimate value in life, and so marriage was a mere transaction that helped your family's interest. By contrast, contemporary Western societies make the individual's happiness the ultimate value, and so marriage becomes primarily an experience of romantic fulfillment. But the Bible sees GOD as the supreme good - not the individual or the family - and that gives us a view of marriage that intimately unites feelings AND duty, passion AND promise. That is because at the heart of the Biblical idea of marriage is the covenant.” ― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

     I was listening to a few interviews of Timothy Keller and his wife, Kathy Keller last week, as they talked about their own story, and the complexities, purposes, and beauty of a godly marriage and I was blown away. I've been studying this topic of marriage for almost 10 years. And I had heard much of what the Keller's shared, before. But this time, I heard all of this information, as if for the the first time. And I felt a bit of conviction and shame, knowing my current motives of marriage.

      Current motives of marriage = Good sex and someone to help zip-up my dresses and sometimes cook for me and to look good next to me in photos, oh and of course help me lead my teenagers in my youth group. But notice what I listed first.

     Look. I keeps it real.

     I mean, I'm basically looking for a product, preferably at a good deal.

     Never listing what I would want to give and do for my spouse. The ways in which I could love and serve him.

     No. Instead. I'm listing the ways in which he can help fulfill my purposes and my desires. That's definitely not the full picture.

     If I've learned anything from my parents, it's that a good marriage doesn't just happen. Good marriages are cultivated, with intentionality and sacrifice.

     Not that I won't find sheer delight in my future boo, but I have to leave behind this notion of romance being absolutely effortless. Because that is simply not true.

“This principle - that your spouse should be capable of becoming your best friend - is a game changer when you address the question of compatibility in a prospective spouse. If you think of marriage largely in terms of erotic love, then compatibility means sexual chemistry and appeal. If you think of marriage largely as a way to move into the kind of social status in life you desire, then compatibility means being part of the desired social class, and perhaps common tastes and aspirations for lifestyle. The problem with these factors is that they are not durable. Physical attractiveness will wane, no matter how hard you work to delay its departure. And socio-economic status unfortunately can change almost overnight. When people think they have found compatibility based on these things, they often make the painful discovery that they have built their relationship on unstable ground. A woman "lets herself go" or a man loses his job, and the compatibility foundation falls apart.” ― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

     2012 has taught me one thing very well: I know a lot, but I don't know enough. And I definitely don't know everything.

“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God's saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God's mercy and grace.” ― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

     I'm willing to learn again. I'm willing to admit my mistakes and my missteps. I'm willing to give this thing another go. But I think I need to take some time to listen.

     I need to listen to my own heart again. I need to listen to what God is saying about me, again. And I need to learn to trust again.

     I think that's what 2012 has been about for me. The question being: You've learned to forgive, You've learned how to get low and humble, but now can you learn to trust? "Will you trust me?" - God whispers to me.

“Real love, the Bible says, instinctively desires permanence.” ― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

     Yeah. It's one thing to forgive someone for hurting you or a crappy 2012 for being horrible. But can you trust him again, can you trust that 2012 will end better than it began? Trust is not first placed in the hands of the offender, but instead in the hand of the eternal One, the Most trustworthy one. "Will you trust me?" He whispers.

“...We must say to ourselves something like this: 'Well, when Jesus looked down from the cross, he didn't think "I am giving myself to you because you are so attractive to me." No, he was in agony, and he looked down at us - denying him, abandoning him, and betraying him - and in the greatest act of love in history, he STAYED. He said, "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing." He loved us, not because we were lovely to him, but to make us lovely. That is why I am going to love my spouse.' Speak to your heart like that, and then fulfill the promises you made on your wedding day.” ― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

     I think I can. I think I can trust You. All over again.

     As if nothing bad ever happened to me. Because Your love can do that.

 “When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” ― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

     I was offended. Very offended. So offended that I didn't want to believe anymore. And I definitely didn't want to trust You. Everything was tarnished, especially the dream. And now it's all impossible.

     I think that's the way You wanted it.

     Just so You could ask me again..."Will you trust me?"

     And I, with tears in my eyes, like a little child...say, "Yes."

Wisdom's Knocking:

“Only with time do we really learn who the other person is and come to love the person for him- or herself and not just for the feelings and experiences they give us.” 

― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

To the Man I Love

Photo Credit: Kappel Cloninger

Date: Sometime in the Future...


     It's been a long journey.

     A woman doesn't just give her true heart to just anyone.

     I was ready. And I just knew.

     Some people believe that true love stories are only relegated to perfect love songs and movie screens. But I knew better...

     In the summer of 2012, I had a conversation with a guy friend of mine. He asked me when was the last time, I had been in a relationship and I sheepishly answered...10 years ago. Shock filled his eyes.

     He asked how long that relationship had been, and I was embarrassed to say...but I admitted the truth nonetheless... The relationship had lasted only 6 months. He looked stunned and full of pity; and a bit of disapproval crossed his face.

     He then went on to ask me why the relationship ended. I stated, "Because he cheated."

     My friend stated, "Was that all?.."

     I looked perplexed.

     Had the rules of love changed?

     In my experience, true Love often produces a moral compass that is beyond our own common way of doing things. In essence, you want to do better, be better, love better. Love makes you want to be the best version of yourself.

     But when the cancer of cheating (subtle or blatant) enters a relationship, it breeds distrust. And without trust in a relationship...well...Love is no longer at the forefront...instead, it's ugly adversary, Fear begins to take over.

     And for us as women, often being the nurturers of a relationship, we thrive off of connection. But when a man severs that connection, a part of our heart...the one we showed and gave to you, doesn't quite know how to function. And we die a little bit inside. Irrational actions soon occur on our part, but that's mostly our pain and our hurt talking.

     Until the real healing begins... and "I'm sorry's" are not just scripted dialogue, but truly heartfelt. Seeing that both words and actions line up, making way for forgiveness to be shared lavishly.  Having vision again, and knowing that we both are wanting to head in the same direction. Then and only then can the digging begin, a rediscovery of sorts, a newfound love, a love that is just as authentic if not more than it was in the beginning, because this love has now been tried through the fire, like gold, a love blazing more intensely than ever before.

     But "Was that all?" Was my ex's cheating the only reason why that old relationship ended. Probably not. We weren't madly in love, more like madly in like. Among many other things, we didn't share the same vision for our future, and that just wasn't enough to sustain either of us in the end.

     However, in that moment, I wanted to express to my male counterpart, that receiving a woman's heart is an absolute gift...a woman doesn't just give her true heart to just anyone. There are mysteries in a woman's heart that only a handful of people on the entire planet will ever get to see. And if you are blessed to be one of 6 billion people to be given the gift of her heart, just know that it is worth far more than rubies and diamonds.

     And anything done to crush that woman's heart, is no light matter...it's like crushing the heart of some one's daughter. Because she is some one's daughter. She holds the hopes and dreams of her family's legacy. And all of that mystery and beauty of who she is...amidst the 6 billion people on the planet, by the hand of God, somehow made it to you....and was entrusted to you and you alone.

     But my guy friend had no grid or understanding of this yet. Perhaps, because he too, was reeling from his own pain, being hurt by a woman in his past relationship, and could not yet see or understand that his true love story was still waiting for him, just on the other side of his own healing.

     And yes, I'm very aware that men love deeply as well. And when men are hurt and heartbroken in relationships, it is just as devastating to them as well, even if they don't fully express the pain. Their irrational actions may result in quick and repeated rebounds and anything else that would fill the time, in order for them not to face themselves and the healing that needs to occur.

----

     We've all been taught to suppress our emotions, and to become more like a "man" in a man's world. Buck up and just move forward. But there's something to be said for releasing and expressing emotion amidst the journey--allowing yourself time to grieve, to heal, and then of course--to expect again.

----

     I wasn't looking for Lust when I met you, I was craving Love. I didn't want to just give you my body, I wanted to freely give you my heart.

     I could have easily slept with many, to ease the pain of not having a body pressed against mine. Of not being held. But I would have been giving a piece of my heart away--I'd be giving my peace away as well. I'm not meant for a "Hit-it-and-quit-it" lifestyle. Sometimes I wish I were... But I'm just not that girl.

---

     But you, my Field of Dreams, never gave me pause. I never had to wonder if it was really me that you wanted. You let me unfold my life into your arms. Your strong arms. Your tender arms. And I want to start a family with you. I want our kids to have our love and your eyes.

     I adore you above all.

     And I will never expect perfection from you. Jesus is all the perfection I'll ever need in this life.

     Your presence is a reminder of the good gifts that God so freely gives.


     I'm the girl that loves deeply. My scars and my vulnerability exposed for you to see. I'll cry at sappy commercials, act aggressive and push you away when I just want you to hold me,  and I'll laugh at the most inappropriate times.

---

     And you are my redemption story.

     I waited and believed for you, even when I lost hope. I waited for you amidst the mockery of my own thoughts, my peers, and my circumstances. But I somehow knew this day would come.

     Our choices matter. And I've chosen you, even before I met you, I chose you.

     And when I don't feel like loving you, I'm going to choose to love you more, to love you well. Because you are the man that I have chosen to love. The man that I have chosen to give my true heart to, wholly and completely.

     My delight will be in seeing you smile and in doing my best to love you well.

   

Happy Wedding Day.

Love,
Patrice

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." 

-Proverbs 13:12

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