Tis the season for plenty of greeting embraces, cheek to cheek, kisses to cheek, and if you're a brave grown up, kisses to kisses.
I didn't fully realize, until later this year, that I've had a stigma about kisses. Which is odd because I love the idea of them, but to so easily give them away, in terms of intimate greetings, started to bother me a bit when I felt that some specific individuals were trying to get more than a greeting kiss.
More so, it seemed as if they simply wanted to experience my lips with little disregard for the woman that possessed them.
What is it about a kiss that is so magnetic? There are many theories and speculations as to what the kiss is and how it came to be. But they still don't provide me with solid reassurance and safety in regards to my own lips. Because my qualms about kissing really boil down to lips in general. I mean, if a stranger placed their hand on your lips in public versus shaking your hands, it would increase his or her chances of getting slapped. But why...what makes lips so sacred? Because they're closer to your mouth, the place where your breathe and receive oxygen?...Or is it connected to the fact that life and death are in the power of the tongue...and the lips are somehow guarding it like an ancient castle?
I think that's what excites me and scares me the most about kisses. There's an exchange happening. Possibly both of the good and the bad.
So you can see how quickly the idea of a kiss could become revolting to me--But not for the reason of a person simply being perceived as hideous--although that doesn't help one's case. The reluctance to give those sweet greeting kisses at times comes from the resistance to vulnerability, the fear of inviting someone to a dance that you know you're not going to show up at, or the possibility of inviting the enemy to trespass and debase your castle.
I was recently given a surprise goodbye kiss -- half friendly, half invitation. It was like a hug that lingered a little bit longer than normal... and then somehow somewhere a saxophone seemed to play nearby...and of course the moon shined ever so brightly.
And just as quickly as it began, it ends abruptly and I'm meant to look this person in the eye with a strong platonic stare and smile, but truly I'm thinking..."What just happened? Did I just give you an unintentional gift with my lips. I didn't even offer that...I was going in for the hug you sneaky thug, you."
But as we part ways. I conclude:
"Well then...that exchange wasn't horrible at all."
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3 comments:
Well... sweet Patrice! (see, I can say that because you are to me, a sweet sister and that adjective implies nothing romantic or flirtatious). In the same way, a kiss is a means of expression, executed with lips that are there as a gateway (as you've mentioned), I believe, not only of words, (good and bad), and food (good and bad!), but also the lips are the prime communicating tool of affection that can be received in different ways--on a cheek, for instance, bespeaks different messages: e.g., one on a baby's invokes gentleness, affection and joy, or an Aunt' kiss on the cheek, usually to express very well meant affection, is sometimes very avoided in teenaged years!, or when an adult lover, or potential lover's kiss projects a similar affection to another as is given to a baby, it's more of an act of intimacy, to be that close to the recipients mouth and other God-created erogenous areas, like the ear, that may, or may not lead to other intimacies.
On the other hand, when there's an understanding of a "safe" trust relationship between two adults, whether in an appropriate social context or a family "church" context, using good protocol and manners, I think a kiss of greeting is very appropriate and, hopefully, elevates this sincere act of affection to a holy kiss as Paul speaks about in his N.T. letters. So, context, motivation and intention is what drives the effect and reception of a kiss, or for that matter, a hug!
Love it, Ronaldo!
Physiologically, it's way different than a handshake... duh!
"Nerve endings abundant in the lips and on the tongue rush signals to the brain, triggering a cascade of events. Blood rushes to the lips, and the body warms. Saliva pours out of glands (which is why kisses are wet), blood testosterone levels surge, and feel-good chemicals such as endorphins and oxytocin are released in the brain.
Blood pressure rises, the heart rate accelerates from around 70 to upward of 120, and calories begin to burn at a rate of around 6 a minute compared with just over 1 calorie per minute when someone's sitting around reading or watching TV."
-from The Mystery of the Kiss, LA Times
By Elena Conis Esoterica Medical
February 4, 2008
With all that going on subconsciously (not even factoring in all the thoughts and feelings we're aware of), I'd say it's special...
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