Monday, February 16, 2009

Online Love. Maybe.


It's so easy to fall in love with someone at 1:15 A.M. Especially when you are filling in the gaps of an online persona. Mix in some Intellectual Words, Nice Grammar, and some Rhymes and I'm practically ready to have your virtual babies.

Just watched "He's Just Not That Into You". It's definitely worth seeing once. It stirs up a bit of conversation or at least some thoughts. In this age of the Internet, we've lost something in regards to true intimacy and become good at being impersonal. In fact, the more impersonal we are with a variety of people, the more we end up fooling ourselves into thinking that we have deep meaningful relationships with thousands of people. But is that really possible? And in terms of romance, how do we get in front of our words instead of behind them or some false online persona?

Many of those scenes in the film reminded me of myself in high school and college, wanting so badly to be loved, but not feeling completely secure in my own beauty and worth. But I can honestly say now that I love being a woman. I love being me, more and more.

With the idea of romance comes this amazing sense of adventure. And I do love adventure. I've taken risks in the past, but none can compare to the risk of Waiting. And that is what I've chosen to do all these years. I constantly get asked...Why don't you have boyfriend?...Husband? Kids? And the answer is simple. I'm waiting for him. And I'll know him when he knows me. I know. I can't believe I've held onto that simple yet profound sentence for years now. But when you get something stamped on your heart like that, in a real way, its hard to accept anything less. The journey has been hard as hell, but at the end of the day Hopeful. Thank you, Jesus.



And as I lay in my bed at 1:49 A.M. I contemplate love, like I do almost every night before I go to bed. Will love really happen for me? And if so, when? Am I crazy to believe? And then I close my eyes.



Because a girl must always dream.

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