Why Does Everyone Want to Kiss Me?

Photo Credit: Johnny Giovati

     I kid you not, this phrase was floating around in my head this morning. And I wondered how I was going to make a coherent blog post on something that at first glance seems so incredibly vain.

     But hear me out.

      I think it's important as a single person to continually remind yourself of your worth. There's something powerful and profound about taking the time to remember and to believe the truth.

     I always think about God's word to His people in the Old Testament and how He is constantly asking them to Remember. Remember the lovingkindness of the Lord, remember that He is a God unlike the other idols that vie for our attention in life. Remember that He saved your life countless times over and over again. And in the moment, you knew with every fiber of your being that those life saving events were not random, but Divine.

     But it becomes apparent throughout the stories of the Bible, that we as human beings often forget, and we often forget a lot.

     I mean, it was an utter shock to my being, to find myself in a state of fear and anxiety after the amazing 7 year track record of experiencing God's faithfulness and presence in some pretty jaw dropping ways. But it was as if my brain, my soul, my spirit was shrouded in some way and not just by a veil, but by a freaking brick wall. And somehow, I wasn't remembering...nor was I believing.

     But somehow, I've caught my breath. I had a good night last night and I slept well. And when I woke up, I thought, "Why Does Everyone Want to Kiss Me?"

     Seemingly random, I know. I even laughed to myself after saying the question out loud.

     But as I dug deeper and brought my heart before God in the morning, some light was shed on my question.

     Remember your worth.

     I think we get into these slumps of living and the drudgery blinds us or causes us to forget the essentials. It's a shame really, because it's the essentials that allow us to fully enjoy our lives in fullness.

     And although every single person on the planet may not want to actually kiss me, I'm affirming to myself in a playful way that I am kissable, worthy of affection, worthy of being known and loved even when I'm not in a relationship. My worth is still the same.

     So now, I think my little question/statement is now becoming a funny mantra of sorts. And I dare you to start saying it to yourself in the mirror, in the car, in the bathroom. Because, in an odd way,  I believe it will begin to shift your mentality about your attractiveness and ability to be approached.

     Instead of thinking that you are only worthy of of scraps, take the time to remember that you are worthy of so much love even though you may not be in a relationship at present.

     And trust me. Love will find you.

     It often doesn't dress up in the clothes that we want it to, but it's there. Just be ready to receive and express heartfelt gratitude.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

“You are speaking...as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. 

It is all one thing... what you call remembering is the last part of the pleasure.” 

― C.S. Lewis, "Out of the Silent Planet"

Tomorrow, I'll give you all an update on my dad and my own heart regarding " A Coughing Giant".

A Coughing Giant

     

Photo Credit: Lauren Evans

     I know the holiday season has come to an abrupt hault, but the sentiments of the season are still lingering with me. This past holiday season I noticed more than ever before the weight of time and how precious it truly is. I wanted to bundle my precious mom and dad up in a blanket and never let them go. I wanted certain things to just freeze frame for just a bit. Everything was moving too fast for me. It felt like the future, past, and present were spinning like a tornado in my head. And there seemed to be no end in sight.

     We were all so weak this holiday season.

     I was battling a weird case of anxiety and a bad cold, mom was sick too, and my strong dad had pneumonia.

     The cruel reminder of this imperfect state of things was dad's constant coughing.

     You know the type of cough I'm talking about, it's just painful to hear because there's an odd amount of bass in it.

     When my dad got to the doctors's prior to being diagnosed, the doctor couldn't believe that my dad was standing and talking to him, the pneumonia was on that level. The doctor gave him some super-pack meds about a week and a half before Christmas and the recovery was in full swing come Christmas, but the cough was still lingering.

     That cough was like a taunting demon.

     And in the midst I felt so vulnerable and helpless, which is not my usual M.O. -- the helpless part in particular.

     I've noticed in this season of breaking through the chains of anxiety and pain, I've had to re-learn the simplest of things once again. That God exists. That God is love. That God is for me and not against me.

     Surprisingly enough, I've not yet mastered those strong truths just yet, but minute by minute they are beginning to resurface in the atoms of my body.

     But I'm praying for my spirit to rise up like David, like when he rose up, confronted, and defeated the giant Goliath.

     So last night, I went to my parent's house and we all prayed as a family. I laid my hands on my dad and prayed for healing and a restful night's sleep. But in actuality, I think I was actually praying for myself.

      My dad is on the way to the doctor's now with mom, his cough has persisted. I'm a little nervous and I do feel tension rising in my body, but amidst it all, I do feel peace.

     Giants taunt, but do not always have to get the last word, nor the win.

     I'm praying for you today. That whatever giant you are facing or wrestling with that you would feel strengthened and encouraged unto victory. You already have a Champion in your corner.

     Facing giants is never an easy task, often impossible. But with God, all things are possible.

Wisdom's Knocking:

“Every step was a victory. He had to remember that.”
 ― George Saunders, Tenth of December