What I'm Into

     Some things have stirred my heart as of late and I needed to share them with you:

Music:

     You+Me (Dallas Green & Alecia Moore...A.K.A. "Pink")

     Wait. So this album isn't meant to be a worship album? Because this album has been ministering to my SOUL.

     And I would almost NEVER EVER suggest someone do a cover of the ever so perfect Sade. Just don't. Unless you are You+Me.

    Dallas & Alecia weeeeeent there. And I'm so glad they did. I Completely co-sign on this cover.

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XejdcHDxNlc

Here are three more favorites I have from this album:

"You and Me":

Song Link - http://grooveshark.com/s/YouandMe/709CYP?src=5

"Break the Cycle":

Song Link - http://grooveshark.com/s/08+Break+The+Cycle/71SuQf?src=5

"Gently":

Song Link - http://grooveshark.com/s/03+Gently/71SuA6?src=5




Society Things:

TheSkimm.

     Look, it's important to know what's going on in the world. Even if you abhor traditional news (I can relate.) But in order to invest in the lives of others, it's key to know the important matters connected to their hearts and their world (and our own). Plus, we can get so beautifully reminded (without overwhelming fear) that the world doesn't simply revolve around our own goals, our own streets, and our own friends.

     The way in which founders of TheSkimm (who happened to be 2 women) curate the news is unlike anything that I've read. I was also ecstatic about how humor was incorporated without diminishing the integrity and non-partisan view of the stories they told.

     And wouldn't you know it, weeks after I had posted how much I loved TheSkimm on my Facebook blog page, telling my readers they should check it out-- not just because it's new and fresh, but because it was trailblazing something new and needed, non other than Oprah Winfrey begins endorsing TheSkimm:

     So without further ado, if you want to check out what comes into my personal inbox 5 days a week (5 days, not 7 days...because they don't want to bombard us with news on the weekend...Thank You Very Much.) Then, you can click here to get a taste of what I'm talking about: TheSkimm Link.


Legacy:

     Last, but definitely not least.

     Ladies, there are still Phenomenal men out there that you have NEVER met. I promise.

     And men, there are still Amazing women out there that you never knew existed.

     I was encouraged last week by stumbling across a blog post written by a friend of mine. He was one of the contributing authors of this website titled, "The Good Fight".

       

     Check out the motto to this website:

"Come with us on this journey. Make a difference to the people in your world. Be that strength that they need. Choose to turn weaknesses into strengths. Envision the type of husband and father you want to be. Envision the kind of legacy you want to leave. Honestly ask yourself what the best version of you looks like and make a decision that THAT is worth fighting for."     

     Wait. Did this man person just say words like, "envision" and "legacy"?! And is he making a declaration to fight for that publicly? Excuse me mister, who are your friends?? And can I begin dispensing them out to all my single lady friends tomorrow?? Is it too soon??...

        Similarly, there's a website titled: Good Guy Swag --Yes. Good Guy Swag. Be still my beating heart.

    

      Articles that one might find on this particular website geared towards guys are: "21 Lost Gentleman Traditions That Still Apply Today",  "75 Ways to Become a Better Man", and "7 Characteristics of Intentional Dating"...

     UM. YES. PLEASE. AND AMEN.

     So today is not the day to be discouraged, Beloved.

     But rather, today is the day to connect and reconnect with the passions God has placed in your heart. And to simply believe that all you've seen and heard (especially the negative reports) regarding men and women, is not all there is.

     Match that faith with action. And truly become the best version of yourself in this season of life. The version of yourself that is full of God's heart and glory. One that exudes the attributes of Christ. Because as you run the race as if to win, you'll find someone who just happens to be running the same race come alongside you at an incredibly opportune and divinely orchestrated moment.

     You are worth the wait.

     You always have been.

     It was never just about today. It was always about legacy...

 

Wisdom's Knocking:

"They say everything it happens for a reason 

You can be flawed enough, but perfect for a person 

Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart 

Guiding your direction when you're riding through the dark, 

Oh that's you and me"

- You+Me

White Boys & D'Angelo

     

     Sooooooo, this post is mostly written for Tiffany, Cousin Brandi, Toya, and Tia. But I do hope you enjoy reading it as well. xo

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     So apparently, my most popular board on Pinterest is my "The Land of Milk and Honey" board.

     I never really set out to start an interracial love story board per se. I just started "pinning" images that struck a chord with my heart. And before I knew it, most of these images of what I considered beautiful love and a reflection of the type of love story I wanted to have, happen to be images of Black women with White men.

     I remember being in high school, and having a crush on this White guy named....Let's call him "Billy".  I was bold and brazen even back then. And I told Billy through a serious of random classroom notes (The era of pre-cell phone texting...) I happened to have a crush on him.

     And what did our precious Billy say to me. Or rather to a friend of mine. "I believe mixing races is wrong. So that's that." And that ladies and gentlemen, was the end of that crush.

     But unbeknownst to me a weird seed of self-hatred and insecurity nicely nuzzled itself into the deep crevices of my heart.

     I had an almost idealistic upbringing and an amazing schooling experience with almost every nation represented. My mom used to call my friendship circle: The United Colors of Benetton. But I had never encountered blatant racism in such a way until that fateful day with Billy.

     Now, today we see an array of beautiful interracial couples, but that was not the case when I was in high school. And the thought of a Black girl being with a White guy seemed rare and unattractive to many.

     It wasn't until I went to Paris in 2000 with one of my best friends, that my mind was blown. I was seeing interracial couples everywhere! It was like an interracial utopia made up of so many different races. But what was really blowing my mind was that I was seeing so many different types of beautiful Black women with a variety of White French men. I was convinced I wanted to move to Paris for that reason alone.

      Because you see, it spoke to something deep in my identity. And it brought healing in the most unexpected way. I felt validated somehow.

     I've always been attracted to a variety of men, but those that I'm most drawn to and seem to have the most in common with happen to be White.

     And so, when I started this board on Pinterest, I treated it like a vision board and didn't take much thought to what I was pinning, I just wanted it to flow and be fun...until a Black lady friend of mine said,  "I love your milk and honey board! It's for girls like us right? For those of us who love White boys."

     And without skipping a beat and honestly with complete contrast to every other intention I wanted to mention, I simply said, "Yep. Yes it is."

     At first, I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth. For some reason, I felt a little ashamed and a little confused. Like I somehow exposed a secret too soon. Because my mind hadn't caught up with my heart until that point.

     But then I realized what I had been doing all along, in a bit of subconscious way. Thus, I decided to own it fully via my Pinterest page. And I'm glad I did.

     So years after my high school experience with "Billy", there are tons of blogs, Tumblr pages, dating sites, websites, and Pinterest pages that strictly focus on relationships between Black women and White men. And how beautiful people think that they are. And I find it all quite fascinating, especially the fact that my own little Pinterest page is just one of hundreds.

     So just recently, within the last month, I started Netflexxing (It means what you think it means) the show, "Hart of Dixie". Long story short, it's MY NEW JAM. (And for those die hard "Hart of Dixie" fans, yes, I'm late to the party, I know.)

     The premise: "New Yorker and new doctor Zoe Hart accepts an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work in his medical practice in Bluebell, Alabama. She arrives to find he has died and left half the practice to her in his will." - credit: imdb.com

     And I was just minding my business, you know, watching the show when character, Wade Kinsella has a new arc in his story line and I was like, um, Hi-hello. Who are you?? Why have I never seen you before, like really seen you?!

     The actor who plays Wade, is none other than: Wilson Bethel

   

     Yes. Let's pause for a moment of silence.

     According to my stalkery research he was also on some other prominent shows, but I had no idea who he was until last month.

     Side note: Nothing gets me more in life than a guy that listens to 90s R&B, dances like a thug, has good shoe game, uses the word unequivocally correctly, and/or can quote something from the movie "Coming to America".  And if this guy happens to be White...Uh-ohhh.

     So during that night of "research" on Wilson Bethel, I came across this old tweet:

This is D'Angelo covering Smokey Robinson last night. Which is another way of saying Heaven is Real. pic.twitter.com/VGGa1uDj — Wilson Bethel (@WilsonBethel) September 10, 2012

     Wait. I'm sorry what? Did you just say D'Angelo?

     Nope. I Cannot.

     Everything about that tweet was just next level. Tiffany, Brandi, Toya and Tia know exactly what I mean.

   When I started this post, I was simply going to state the discovery of Wilson's amazing taste in music. But instead, like my writing often does, I ended up taking a major detour and giving you some backstory on my life.

     But at the end of the day, if you take anything from this post, it's this: Be brave in matters of love. Let the past go. And be willing to start fresh, to take risks, and to learn from your failures.

     And in the end, if someone rejects you, we all know it's their loss.

     But again, I urge you, be brave in love, just one more time. Your love story and life journey may look differently than you thought it could or would. But be brave.

     And of course, you can't always judge a book by its cover. People can still surprise you....even in the very best of ways...

     Wisdom's Knocking:

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

- e.e. cummings

   

   D'Angelo Video Link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAfuUZRou7g

   

You Have a Tenderness Within You

     

     Like you, I often find myself wandering the open seas of the internet--you know, just because.

     But in my wandering, or as I liked to call it, my unintentional searching, I always seem to stumble upon some underplayed, yet life changing gold of sorts.

     It's that moment when you think to yourself: how did I previously live without ever reading, seeing, or hearing this very gem of culture and life?!

     And so it happened one fateful day, in my mindless internet behavior I came across images taken by the photographer, Rog Walker and I was moved.

     Subsequently, I've been holding his images like a feather--or rather like a single lone, loose diamond in my clammy right hand.

     I wasn't ready to share, not just yet.

     But then words came to my spirit earlier this week. Words meant only for you. And the only images that I wanted to marry to these words, were the images and photography of Rog Walker.

     So I reached out to Rog, for both our sakes. "Our" meaning you dear reader and myself. So that we might learn something much more significant about ourselves in the days ahead.

     And yes, I also reached out to Rog to honor the man. I didn't want to merely strip images from a website. I wanted him to know that I would tread far more lightly, like one dancing the waltz--gliding with precision and humility.

     So it goes. He appeared even more lovely than I could have ever imagined via our brief email exchange. And he has granted me permission to share his images with you.

     Thank you for indulging me in this small preface. But it was important to me.

But now, I want to remind you of something.

Something that you may have forgotten.

You may have just forgotten.

Or you may not even remember when you have forgotten.

But nevertheless, it has been forgotten.

You have a beautiful tenderness within you.

You still possess fire.

You still take someone's breath away.

You, yes you, are still loveable.

I don't know why and when everything had to get so complicated.

Growing up is so hard to do.

But you are becoming.

She is becoming.

He is becoming.

We are becoming.

Don't let the hardness of the way, make you cold and bitter and hard.

Open yourself up.

Let that tenderness seep through the cracks of your eyes and your skin and your ears.

You were once full of childlike laughter.

But somehow you've been robbed.

Even so, you know what.

I was once robbed, but someone literally mailed my stolen wallet back to me.

This is a true story.

So your heart won't be lost for long.

Your heart will not remain broken.

I can dream for the both of us tonight.

And I'll believe--I'll believe that the tenderness within you will be met with great affection, adoration, and adulation.

Because you are...so much more than you know.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

It is not tenderness that makes you weak, 

but rather bitterness that makes you brittle.

Photo Credit: Rog Walker

Tantrum

     

   
     I was at a wedding and saw this girl act so incredibly rude and a bit stank.

     Most people shrugged it off, but I was amazed that someone had the cojones to be so bold about their own wants and complaints during someone else's big day.

     For some reason her own pain was causing her to implode and say and do things that were just down right rude.

     For a moment, I was like, "Um, you do realize you said that out loud, right?...You do realize we are at a wedding, like where other people can hear you? And you do know that this is not your wedding?"

     Our immaturity and tantrums are often coddled by our fair-weather friends, yet challenged by our real friends and family.

     And then we either decide to ignore them or isolate ourselves so we don't have people "Telling us what to do."

     Newsflash: They're not simply trying to tell you what to do, but rather, how to be a kind and tolerable human being we actually want to be around and can trust.

     Do we realize how ugly and unattractive we look as human beings when we throw tantrums.

     I mean, it's funny/annoying when a 2 year old does it. But now imagine how you look...

     You do know that you're not the only one who has ever gone through rejection, pain, and disappointment.

     And yet, some people learn to go through these valleys in the Gene Kelly way:

     And then some people develop a habit of going through the valleys the Ratchet-Sheneneh way:

     If I'm honest, my current tantrum rating is somewhere in the middle...

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     My response to rude girls and boys that throw tantrums at other peoples weddings, parties, graduations, and other outings in public:  Don't be a selfish son of a ........hurting person.

     If you are known to throw adult tantrums on the regular, let me help you out.

     Because soon, no one is going to want to be around you. And then you'll be surrounded by fake friends and wonder where the heck all your real friends went and how your life spiraled...

     When you feel a tantrum coming on in a public setting:

     Be big enough to first hush your mouth. Stop spewing garbage. And go take a breather. If someone asks what's wrong, just let them know (Without attitude, thank you very much) that you needed to take a little bit of a breather, but you'll be fine.

    If you're in the presence of a true trusted friend, be vulnerable and tell them what's really irking you. Is it that fact that you've been wanting to be married all your life, and the one friend who vowed they'd never get married or didn't care if they did, is now married and in a blissful state of existence and you find yourself hurt--worse than hurt...somehow betrayed.

     I know. I get it. Please believe.

     But being a in a tantrum isn't going to change anything for you.

     Choosing to be kind and forgiving towards yourself and others will change things, and inevitably help in an effort to be kind and relatable to those around you.

    And lastly, sometimes you just need to laugh about it.

    Don't take yourself so seriously. And when you find yourself on the verge of having a tantrum, just know, that this too shall pass.

    Plus, laughing about it all is a much hotter look than that of the tantrum.

    Little redirected moments like this help us learn how to be kind and thoughtful human beings.


      To the girl at that wedding: I understand. Your moment of selfishness and pain blinded you. Nevertheless, your tantrum was stupid. But thank you for giving me good blog material. xo

Wisdom's Knocking:

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw,
rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” 

-- Lemony Snicket, Horseradish