Photo Credit: Jennifer Glasgow
I have some statements to make:
I love guys that love silly girls like me.
I love surprises.
I love chocolate.
I love British comedies and dramas.
I love sitting somewhere, being still and watching the sunset.
I love writing screenplays with one of my best friends.
I love Jesus. A lot. Not for fakes.
I also love that when I try to look professional on my way to work, I almost eat it in a public crosswalk, in a dress, with wind blowing, flailing my one free arm about, because the other is holding my purse and laptop. But somehow, I didn't fall on my face, or my butt. I'm not quite sure how that happened.
You know how everything goes in slow motion when you're about to fall flat on your face or approaching a weird accident of sorts. Well, just imagine being in slow motion just long enough to think, "Is this really happening? Yes, it is. Wait. Is this really happening. YES IT IS. That girl over there is staring at you, waiting to see how this is going to play out. Get yourself together. Oh yeah, and that guy over there is waiting to see how far your dress is going to fly up."
I mean, I know the whole thing couldn't have lasted longer than 3 seconds, but it felt like an eternity.
And then somehow, my legs locked, but in a good way. They wouldn't let the rest of my body fall. They were strong and sturdy. I felt every muscle in my legs come to attention. It was quite glorious actually.
And then I rose up from an awkward crouched over position. Found my footing. And resumed my walk across the public crosswalk. Trying not to make eye contact with my new found audience.
The only natural thing to do at this point is laugh. And I did, while shaking my head.
Moments like that not only embarrass you, bringing forth a new found humility regarding your stature and place in the world, but it also shakes you up a bit.
Sometimes we don't even know we're in a stupor until something knocks some sense back into us. Or into us for the first time...
The feeling of falling can be a rush or a sentence of death depending on the circumstance. But regardless-- in falling, you find out what you're really made of.
We can say we are for this or for that only, or we are defined by this strictly, but only when new surprise circumstances hit you in the face do you really know the depth of those definitions within you.
So I've been in an interesting season, emotionally and spiritually, still expecting good things, but barely. At times it's so hard to break out of a mindset of disappointment in order to embrace the good in front of me (On a daily basis). Nevertheless, this interesting season, had become rote and robotic in its own way, but a recent jolt simply reminded me, that with each step I take, God is with me. And I feel this jolt of sorts moving me out of the past (Past hurts, pains, disappointments, etc.) and into the embrace of the adventure ahead.
And please believe there are still good, good adventures to be had. You and I were made for them.
The invitation to a new beginning has been given to you now.