Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Just a few short hours ago, I was on the road to forever being highly annoyed by a particular celebrity/recording artist and their artistic endeavors. My heart and mind were no longer open and receptive as they once were to his particular expressions and imprint. It's amazing how you can love something so, one minute, and then with the consistency of change, almost completely write it off all together later. Cold--yes, but true.

But that all changed when I watched a witty and intelligent interviewer bring out the best in John Mayer. I gained that new level of understanding I had been yearning for these past couple of years. Because recently, he had become more of a punchline and US Weekly magazine staple, better known for his sex-scapades rather than his heartfelt journey as a musician and human being. But in this recent interview, I gained understanding. And it was that understanding that put my heart at ease. I let him in again. The comedian, the musician, the man, the intellectual. These were the labels in which I understood Mr. Mayer prior to 2005.

It's amazing how many things can get cleared up with the ever so complex action of "understanding". It brings us to a place of peace. It settles us once again. "In all your getting, get understanding"...And then we begin to love the thing (or in this case, person) we almost completely wrote off, we love them even more, with a greater level of maturity. Everything may not be perfect, yet we are settled once again in our affections, until something else comes to shake its fruit from our lives.

As human beings and artists, we long to express, but also relate, and perhaps bring understanding to our vision and perspective of love, life, and those things in between.

The struggle remains in pleasing others, not pleasing others, staying honest, and resting in truth. Ideally we never want to care what people think, but in truth, love doesn't happen unless someone else is in the room. And that's a dangerous concoction. We need each other, but we don't want to be in the place where we have to admit it.

Therefore, our artistic expressions...who we are, what we wear, how we live, what we create, our professions, our ministries, etc. as they change and mature, will always be up for review by the masses. Many will continue to assess their love for you and the things you do. No need to resist or fear it, it's simply an open invitation for understanding to take place, and a deeper sense of love to be birthed and grasped--for those that want it.

As an artist I feel the journey goes something like this:

It is not my job to make you happy, but it is my good pleasure to see you smile.

Monday, November 09, 2009


Just because you put on a crown, doesn't make you a king. Halloween will back me up on this.

Yes. That statement seems clear enough, but when put in the context of our relationships and self-evaluation, it begins to hold new weight.

Just because you give the title lover, friend, or confidant, doesn't mean such words hold their given meaning. The title can very well exist, but the substance of such truths can be evidently lacking. It's that time again...the end of the year. How have I grown, in what ways have I not grown, am I content, etc. etc. The list goes on and on.

Assessing our lives in terms of success and the ever so elusive fame is far easier. We can sometimes measure those things through superficial experiments.

But what I'm talking about is the substance of those things that we have in our lives. What are they truly made up of? The ingredients. The reality of situation.

I've been facing the reality of all kinds of things in my life as of late. And truly, the truth does set you free. Not to say that it can't be hard to grasp or painful to endure, but the canopy of peace residing over your being is always evident.

It's becoming more and more clear---who I am. And what it is I want. I was never satisfied by wanting or doing something just because someone else had or did it. It's so funny, when you see yourself from heaven's perspective, not only do you see a whole new value within yourself, but passions and desires come into focus like never before. Truth.

Pretending is for those that have not yet let go. It is for those that have refused to forgive and love. It is for those that have a secret life of anger and bitterness. Pretending is for those that do not want to settle into the possibility of glory and true goodness in all situations. Oh, to be content in all ways and in all circumstances. Love.

But one can't fake contentment. And if you try, your conversations and your own eyes will always give it away.

Pretending has a lot to do with exterior posture, but "being", well being is just that. I'm now learning the difference between "doing" something kind, and "being" kind. "Doing" something loving versus "Being" loving. It's quite a transformation. But when it happens it strikes the very deepest chords of our spirit. Freedom.

I've learned, that although, throughout my life, I've thought myself to be brave, strong, and independent, I was merely pretending to be those things. I could do such things without you fully knowing my fakery, but my heart knew. And this year revealed the hidden fears and lies that kept me pretending.

And now, I'm taking my own baby steps in the direction of real truth, love, and freedom. Those are the ingredients of lasting substance. Of which will reflect in my own life, my own conversations, my own eyes.

You will own, what you walk through.

Meaning, the refining process. If you choose to go forward in it, you will be like refined gold on the other side. It will be a part of your DNA. It can't be cloned by someone else--a pretender trying to find the easy way out of a long and arduous journey. But instead, your DNA will be unique and affirming to you. It will bring out the best in you like you've never seen before. And change the atmosphere around you like a new dawn.