You Have a Tenderness Within You

     

     Like you, I often find myself wandering the open seas of the internet--you know, just because.

     But in my wandering, or as I liked to call it, my unintentional searching, I always seem to stumble upon some underplayed, yet life changing gold of sorts.

     It's that moment when you think to yourself: how did I previously live without ever reading, seeing, or hearing this very gem of culture and life?!

     And so it happened one fateful day, in my mindless internet behavior I came across images taken by the photographer, Rog Walker and I was moved.

     Subsequently, I've been holding his images like a feather--or rather like a single lone, loose diamond in my clammy right hand.

     I wasn't ready to share, not just yet.

     But then words came to my spirit earlier this week. Words meant only for you. And the only images that I wanted to marry to these words, were the images and photography of Rog Walker.

     So I reached out to Rog, for both our sakes. "Our" meaning you dear reader and myself. So that we might learn something much more significant about ourselves in the days ahead.

     And yes, I also reached out to Rog to honor the man. I didn't want to merely strip images from a website. I wanted him to know that I would tread far more lightly, like one dancing the waltz--gliding with precision and humility.

     So it goes. He appeared even more lovely than I could have ever imagined via our brief email exchange. And he has granted me permission to share his images with you.

     Thank you for indulging me in this small preface. But it was important to me.

But now, I want to remind you of something.

Something that you may have forgotten.

You may have just forgotten.

Or you may not even remember when you have forgotten.

But nevertheless, it has been forgotten.

You have a beautiful tenderness within you.

You still possess fire.

You still take someone's breath away.

You, yes you, are still loveable.

I don't know why and when everything had to get so complicated.

Growing up is so hard to do.

But you are becoming.

She is becoming.

He is becoming.

We are becoming.

Don't let the hardness of the way, make you cold and bitter and hard.

Open yourself up.

Let that tenderness seep through the cracks of your eyes and your skin and your ears.

You were once full of childlike laughter.

But somehow you've been robbed.

Even so, you know what.

I was once robbed, but someone literally mailed my stolen wallet back to me.

This is a true story.

So your heart won't be lost for long.

Your heart will not remain broken.

I can dream for the both of us tonight.

And I'll believe--I'll believe that the tenderness within you will be met with great affection, adoration, and adulation.

Because you are...so much more than you know.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

It is not tenderness that makes you weak, 

but rather bitterness that makes you brittle.

Photo Credit: Rog Walker

Tantrum

     

   
     I was at a wedding and saw this girl act so incredibly rude and a bit stank.

     Most people shrugged it off, but I was amazed that someone had the cojones to be so bold about their own wants and complaints during someone else's big day.

     For some reason her own pain was causing her to implode and say and do things that were just down right rude.

     For a moment, I was like, "Um, you do realize you said that out loud, right?...You do realize we are at a wedding, like where other people can hear you? And you do know that this is not your wedding?"

     Our immaturity and tantrums are often coddled by our fair-weather friends, yet challenged by our real friends and family.

     And then we either decide to ignore them or isolate ourselves so we don't have people "Telling us what to do."

     Newsflash: They're not simply trying to tell you what to do, but rather, how to be a kind and tolerable human being we actually want to be around and can trust.

     Do we realize how ugly and unattractive we look as human beings when we throw tantrums.

     I mean, it's funny/annoying when a 2 year old does it. But now imagine how you look...

     You do know that you're not the only one who has ever gone through rejection, pain, and disappointment.

     And yet, some people learn to go through these valleys in the Gene Kelly way:

     And then some people develop a habit of going through the valleys the Ratchet-Sheneneh way:

     If I'm honest, my current tantrum rating is somewhere in the middle...

+++

     My response to rude girls and boys that throw tantrums at other peoples weddings, parties, graduations, and other outings in public:  Don't be a selfish son of a ........hurting person.

     If you are known to throw adult tantrums on the regular, let me help you out.

     Because soon, no one is going to want to be around you. And then you'll be surrounded by fake friends and wonder where the heck all your real friends went and how your life spiraled...

     When you feel a tantrum coming on in a public setting:

     Be big enough to first hush your mouth. Stop spewing garbage. And go take a breather. If someone asks what's wrong, just let them know (Without attitude, thank you very much) that you needed to take a little bit of a breather, but you'll be fine.

    If you're in the presence of a true trusted friend, be vulnerable and tell them what's really irking you. Is it that fact that you've been wanting to be married all your life, and the one friend who vowed they'd never get married or didn't care if they did, is now married and in a blissful state of existence and you find yourself hurt--worse than hurt...somehow betrayed.

     I know. I get it. Please believe.

     But being a in a tantrum isn't going to change anything for you.

     Choosing to be kind and forgiving towards yourself and others will change things, and inevitably help in an effort to be kind and relatable to those around you.

    And lastly, sometimes you just need to laugh about it.

    Don't take yourself so seriously. And when you find yourself on the verge of having a tantrum, just know, that this too shall pass.

    Plus, laughing about it all is a much hotter look than that of the tantrum.

    Little redirected moments like this help us learn how to be kind and thoughtful human beings.


      To the girl at that wedding: I understand. Your moment of selfishness and pain blinded you. Nevertheless, your tantrum was stupid. But thank you for giving me good blog material. xo

Wisdom's Knocking:

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw,
rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” 

-- Lemony Snicket, Horseradish