You Broke My Heart

Law & Order: UK - Episode: "Deal"

      In case you don't know already, I'm pretty much in love with all things BBC America. At present, I'm obsessed mostly with Law & Order: UK

      I'm so invested in all of these characters. Which is a bit odd, because we never get a great deal of information regarding each character's personal life. We only infer things by how they respond in the context of a crime they are solving. But the writing mixed with the charisma and mystery of each character sucks me in.

     And with that type of vulnerability to a show and its characters, one is bound to get their heart broken. Of which I did.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Detective shows are often better with British accents.

Unfinished Business

     Lindsay Coleman

     It feels awful to have a lot of unfinished things floating out there in the atmosphere. At some point, you just want to throw your hands up and say, "Freak it all!"

     I think unfinished business has a lot to do with distractions. Those subtle things that we allow to slowly eat away at our time, our relationships, our finances, etc.

     At some point we have to want to stop the cycle. Key word being, we ourselves have got to actually want to stop the cycle of perpetual unfinished business.

     I've learned a lot about my personality type in the last month. In case your curious I'm a "Wind-Fire". Yes, it means what you think it means. For more clarification: Path Elements Profile

     One of my key attributes involves: "Over-committing time". Yes. I'm going to let you know that upfront. But don't worry, now that I have that knowledge, I'm doing my best to not fall into my usual traps.

     But the knowledge of such weaknesses doesn't necessarily make the journey all that easier. I look around my room tonight, and I still have a Netflix (Or shall I say, Qwikster?--Dumb.) movie that I have not finished watching in over a year. Supposedly I'm waiting for the "Right time". Which still haunts me as unfinished business.

     And there's my screenplay. I'm actually making some solid progress, but it's painful. Unfinished business.

     And then there are those things I wish I would've said in the midst of an abnormal setting and indirect confrontation this past weekend. Unfinished business.

     It seems as though certain things are unraveling. Well indeed they are.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Our need for grace is far greater than we first thought.

The Something New

     So for some reason I just now noticed the "Dynamic View" templates that Blogger released a few months back.  And now I'm tempted to give it a go. The only thing is, I love the color scheme of my current blog, and I wasn't able to find a way to adjust the colors and all that jazz on this new "Dynamic View".

     Take a look at the video below, to get more of a gist of what I'm talking about.

Wisdom's Knocking:

New is not always better.

Zombies

Photo Credit: Lindsay Coleman

     I have never in all my life...until last night.

     I had a very long dream of a city being infested with Zombies. I was on the run like a maniac. And my sidekicks kept changing depending on the particular setting I was in within the city.

     See, this is what happens when you watch "Doctor Who" right before you go to bed.

     I never had to see a Zombie full on in my dream.  I think the most exposure I got regarding one of these killer creatures, was some weird groan in addition to seeing a pair of pale white arms, stiffly extended forward.

     There were plenty of close calls in this dream, but I and those that I was trying to help rescue made it out alive. It was definitely one of those dreams that felt incredibly real.

     And I'll tell you this, I did wake up this morning a bit out of breath...

Wisdom's Knocking:

There comes a time when you must face your fears. 

The Most Beautiful Woman

      When I hear her voice, she makes me want to smile and cry at the same time. And anyone can distinguish her voice from a sea of aspiring and established singers. She has this distinct "tear drop" in her voice.

     She's dipped into the world of jazz, soul, pop, and even Broadway.

     And not only was her voice the stuff of diamonds, she was absolutely exquisite. As I was preparing to write this post, I just stared at hundreds of pictures of this lady. She is truly one of the most beautiful women I have EVER seen.

Her career spanned the 70s to the mid 90s. And I wish I'd been able to see her perform live. 

   
     But to the great misfortune of the many that loved and adored her, this 6'2" beauty died an untimely death in 1995 at the age of 45, due to suicide.

      Nevertheless, her voice is still the stuff of tender mercies. And she will continue to capture my attention.

Phyllis Hyman.

-----

Wisdom's Knocking:

Even in your darkest hour, you are loved.

I'm Working On My Rewrite

     So, I'm back in love with Paul Simon. It's beyond the crush phase. We're talking real commitment here.

Rewrite by Paul Simon

Wisdom's Knocking:

"You know life is what you make of it

So beautiful, or so what." - Paul Simon

Interweb

     Photo Credit: Patrice

     So I just looked you up on the internet.

     I had this hyped up idea of who and what you were. I was in awe of your caliber of humanity. I was drawn to the strength of your family.

     But then, the other shoe dropped.

     It's known to do that, at the oddest and most inconvenient of times.

     And now, the interweb has spewed up what I was hoping to not find, but what I knew was there all along...the other side of your humanity.

     But why can't you be more like the idea of you, rather than the real you.

     But this is life.

      And I'll look at you tomorrow as if I never acquired such information and forgive myself and you for being so raw and so cruel and so mindless.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Sometimes the benefit of technology is far too forward for our own good.

Body Talk

     

     You all know that I am affection starved.

     How many times is a human being supposed to be touched in a given day? I don't know. But I do know it's definitely way more than what I'm getting these days.

     And because you all know that I live an almost nun-like existence (Infer what you will, it's pretty much appropriate at this point), my old fall-backs just won't do; nor is that really what I'm after.


     With that said, I had one of thee most stressful weeks last week. I'll do my best to fill you in on the highs and the lows in the weeks to come. But the events of last week left my body in some crazy knots.

     Often I appear to be a calm and peaceful person, but anxiety is but a breath away many times. And after a week like the one I just had, I find that my body has held on to that anxiety in some extreme ways.

     This time, I knew it was time for an intervention:

     A full body massage.

     I was worked on for an hour and half. Praise!

     The end result: My body loves me. And I love my body.

     So until I begin my free late night cuddles with my future boo, I'll be booking my next appointment with Linda ASAP.

     Get on my level.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Touch seems to be as essential as sunlight." 

- Diane Ackerman

The Line

      Rory

      Once again, the television series, "Doctor Who" has inspired me.

     "The Girl Who Waited" episode:

      Just let this dialogue simmer and blow your mind...

Future Amy: All those boys chasing me, but it was only ever Rory. Why was that? 

Amy: You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, "Not bad. They're okay." And then you get to know them and... and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. 

Both: Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met. 

Amy: Please. Do it for him. 

Future Amy: Ah, you. You're asking me to defy destiny, causality, the nexus of time itself, for a boy. 

Amy: You're Amy. He's Rory. And oh yes, I am.

Wisdom's Knocking:

The heartbeat of true beauty is love.

Put the Comedy On

     I woke up this morning so agitated. I wanted to kick rocks. Seriously. I was like a 2 year old this morning, kicking the covers off of my legs.

     What spurred my current agitation? Lots of things. I'll give you 3 guesses. One of those 3 is most likely correct.

     But nonetheless, today was a pretty productive day. I somehow stayed focused. And it did my heart good to find some comedy in my current life's predicament.

     And in addition to my own real life comedy, I truly discovered that laughter is the cure for agitation.

Wisdom's Knocking:

You're either gonna punch phantom bricks or laugh till it hurts to ease the pain.

Dowry Talk

     I got wayyyyy too distracted today surfing the web. In my aimless search, I came across this beautiful couple:

Christian Parkinson & Kutlwano Maliabe

Photo Credit: BBC News

     They were married in late 2010 in South Africa. And, I was fascinated with their particular courtship. It got me thinking...how much would my Dowry be?...I mean I'm educated, have no children, and have been considered beautiful on more than one occasion. According to Christian, these are premium traits when doing Dowry Talk. Good to know.

      Here are a few snippets from their story (As told by Christian):

     Here in South Africa they call it lobola or bohali. But the tradition of paying a dowry of cattle for your wife is practised across Africa.

     When I first met Kutlwano, two years ago, the tradition struck me as archaic and somehow demeaning to women.

     But I've seen how important it is here and how seriously it's taken. 

     When I realised that I'd finally met the woman I wanted to marry, I knew I had to do things the African way - and hopefully earn the respect of Kutlwano's family. 

     Bohali isn't a simple procedure. It is a long, elaborate process with many rules - each depending on the tribe and inclinations of the families involved. 

    My first duty was to write a letter to Kuts' father, informing him that my family intended to pay a visit. [...]

     As for Kutlwano, she was excited but also worried that her family would expect too high a price for her.

     She is educated, beautiful and doesn't have any children. All of which puts her at a premium. And people here tend to assume that white foreigners are rich. (I'm certainly not.) 

     Kutlwano spoke in private to her mother. Word came back that we shouldn't worry. The price would be fair, and not based on my nationality.

Back home in Leicester, mixed-race couples are not a big deal. Here in South Africa they are still very rare. 

People often stare at us if we hold hands in public, though mostly they're just intrigued. [...]

---

     Even in modern, urban South Africa, the cow remains the unit of negotiation.

     Then the bidding started.

     It's considered bad form in South Africa to talk openly about how much you paid for a wife. Let's just say it cost me a herd. And it was worth every cow. [...]

     But that's not the end of the wedding ceremony.

     Twelve weeks later, I'm back on the same street in Soweto. This time I'm wearing a traditional lampshade-shaped Sotho hat, an off-white linen suit and brown sandals. Not my usual style. 

     I'm dancing, clumsily, down the road - my entourage singing Sotho songs and laughing at my footwork. 

     The whole neighbourhood is out in force, singing and shouting encouragement.

     I reach Kutlwano's home, and push my way through the wall of people surrounding her, pulling her away from her family, and into mine, completing the ritual. 

Article Credit: BBC News: Getting Married the South African Way

Wisdom's Knocking:

Know your worth.

Crushing Celebrities

     I thought I had already blogged about this person. But after searching through all my blog topics, I couldn't find nare one on this beautiful human being. That's about to change.

     This actor stole my heart in the 2010 film, "The Social Network". For me it was like he came out of the blue, like a summer storm.

     I'm usually up to date on hidden talent, but he had escaped me somehow. And when I watched "The Social Network", I could sense his gravitas through the screen. His sincerity broke my heart. I could have sworn he was going to be Oscar nominated for Best Supporting Actor this year (To my shock and many others, he wasn't). Subsequently, after watching "The Social Network", I spent an entire night Googling every detail about this person's life I could find.

     And now, he's about to broaden his audience. He's the new face of the Spiderman film franchise, which will make it's debut in 2012. If this new reboot actually succeeds, it will be because of one face in particular.

     Who is the face? And who is my current celebrity crush? With respect to his rumored GF, Emma Stone...It's 28 year old, Andrew Garfield.

Wisdom's Knocking:

There's nothing quite as attractive as sincerity.

Yes Please

One of my laughs of the day came from this clip:

Promo for the new fall NBC show, "Whitney"

"Women never expect to pay for anything.
Like when the bill comes, on a date,
We'll just stick our hand in our purse,
And just move it around,
Until you guys pay the bill.

You know what, I would totally pay...
It's just that I don't want to."

-Whitney

Wisdom's Knocking:

Often we are waiting for the best of someone to present itself in the most inconvenient of times.

She's a Jerk

Photographer: Patrice Patrick

     I get the hint.

     Just had another friend of mine express his heartfelt feelings.

     No. Not those types of feelings, but instead of how I almost broke his heart with my ambitious sarcasm, a few months back.

 

    Just when I think I'm on the road to recovery, I am gently reminded of my own frailties. Oh sweet humility, how I've missed you. Um. Sort of.

     Funny thing is, I was completely oblivious to my offense. Of course.

     Do I regret some of the things in which I said to him? Here's the kicker...No. 

     Let me explain. I am convinced (Perhaps deceived?) that I spoke truth about certain situations. But the way in which I packaged it was jerky. And I am sorry for my abrasive packaging. I'd like to blame it on my partial New York upbringing, but it would be more accurate to blame it on my own pride and self-preservation.

     His voice matters, and on the same note, so does my voice.  Perhaps we don't see eye to eye on some things. It was bound to happen. And I'm okay with that.

     It was clear that I made him confront and ponder those things that offended him, which was in essence my intention all along. But he also made me confront and ponder many things as well:

#1: Guys are sensitive too. 

#2: I'm a bit more Robin Givens than Anita Baker. (Dangit.)

#3: If you are in a fake dating relationship (Whether in real life or in your head). Just STOP.

#4: Are you friends with someone because of what you can gain or give?

Wisdom's Knocking:

True intentions will always rise to the surface.